Dear Soulless in the Ozarks - (by the way, soulless has two "l"s)

Wow - Kobi™ goes out for dinner and comes back to find this! Good Lord, of all the questions I can get asked upon my return (both from dinner and to this forum) this one is a whopper of a "Welcome Back".

Matt, your question is interesting on numerous levels. First you ask, what IS your soul (notice you did not ask if the soul exists or not). But also of interest is that in the body of you query you waver as to whether you have a soul or not, and in your closing you refer to yourself as soulless.

Now there are many times Kobi™ has been called heartless and soulless and selfish (quite recently actually), and yet the soul is not any of these things, however, if we take Socrates at his word, then we can assume it is made up of all these things, among other stuff. (Actually Socrates said the sould was made up of the body, mind, and spirit, but you get the idea).

Many people confuse soul and spirt and I just quickly want to say that they are not the same.

Now without getting into a whole big religious discussion/argument, in the general philosophical sense, a soul is the essence of being, or rather your soul is the essence of YOUR being. Some believe (like the aforementioned Socrates) that the soul is comprised of the mind, body, and spirit (hey, look at that, a trinity thing . . . it's amazing how "3" shows up everywhere, but that's another story) . . . Now while the general consensus (but by no means agreed upon by all) is that the soul is the essence of being, there are many who believe that it is not some type of separate entity . . .

Actually, this is getting way off course . . . let's look at it this way . . . the fact that you show concern and curiosity, shows you are alive and thinking. (I have also seen you demonstrate that you are not heartless). Outside of the corporeal being that is "Matt" there is an essence to Matt or rather an essence of Matt, that is not a part of the physical world. Just as thoughts are not physical (and the electrical popping and zapping of synapses are not the physical manifestation of thought, so don't all of you out there who think that it is the physical manifestation of thought . . .don't write me about that, because that line of thinking is incorrect) . . . anyway, where was I . . . oh yeah, just as there is not physical manifestation of thought, that does not mean it does not exist, that it is not real. All that is you, is born out of your essence. It is the underlying totality of what you are. In other words, your soul is what you are, it IS who you are. So, do you have a soul - yes . . . and actually, it is your soul who has you, not the other way around.

Reader's Digest condensed version . . . you are your soul and your soul is you. That's what your soul is.

A lot of people wonder what happens to their soul after they die (it could be that they are really thinking about what happens to their spirit too, but that's neither here nor there). What people are really asking is, "After I die, does my consciousness live on? Does my awareness of who and what I am now continue after death?" And to that I say . . . how the hell do I know? I'm still alive.

Anyway, hope this helps. So you can change your name to "Soulful (or Soul-Full) in the Ozarks"

K-

 

Interesting . . . you wrote "Log" time reader . . . "log" . . . and you were talking about the "S" word equivalent of crap. Also, is that what your screen names means? "shtr" is missing an "i" and "e" (and an extra "t")? If so, what's up with the preoccupation with "Sh . . . T"?

Anyway. To your question.

You state that your crap doen't stink. A resolute statement that you are OK!
But then, you waver . . . it "seems" everyone else's does, and turns to downright negativity "What's wrong with me" quickly followed by an attempt to deflect " . . . am I OK and [maybe] the problem is with everyone else."

What we have here is a bit of insecurity . . . but don't worry, that's OK, deep down, everyone is that way. We are all that way because we are human. Imperfection is a part of our nature.

Here's the bad news Dave. Your crap stinks, just like everybody else's.

Also, it is neither you who has the problem exclusively, nor is it everyone else. Everyone has problems, and everyone is the problem. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, and our problems all interact. So it's one big connected cirlce of life and problems. One of your problems happens to be that you're unsure you have a problem, and if you do you don't want to accept it. And (more shocking news), you have other problems as well.

But here's the good news. EVERYONE has a bunch of problems. You should see mine!!!!!!

So, as the kids say, it's all good. Embrace your problems, accept them, know that they are yours and are a part of you, then, look at your good points and embrace those and accept those too.

And from now on, get your nose out of your crap. Just trust Kobi™ when he tells you it stinks. All crap stinks, that's the nature of crap. And once you stop trying so hard to convince yourself it stinks or not (once you pull your nose out of it) you can get on with the non-stinky parts of your life, and see that others have non-stinky parts too.

Hope that helps.

Thanks for being a long time reader.

K-

PS...I was just thinking about Buddha . . . the nature of life, the meaning of life . . .is to suffer. In the "CRAPtastic" sense, the nature of life stinks . . . I guess you could say.

 

Kobi,

Would you please explain what "suffer catting" means as quoted by Mountaineer?

 

It's at times like this (and especially when trying to read any post by Mountaineer) that Kobi™ is thankful that he has an extensive library at his estate.

Of the many books Kobi™ owns, a large number are reference books.

Now originally, Kobi™ was going to crack a joke here and say that he found the meaning of this word in the . . .

(wait for it ) . . . .

OED

and jokingly say that "OED" stood for Ohio English Dictionary (right now English Majors are laughing their heads off) what with Mountaineer being from Ohio.

However Kobi realized that would be an insult to other Buckeyes and Kobi™ certainly does not want to insult anyone from the great state of Ohio.

Anyway, back to my large collection of reference books.

One of the books I own is the Mountaineer Dictionary:



This wonderful book has all the words Mountaineer gets wrong and spells incorrectly along with the English translation.

For example . . . when I look up "suffer catting" I get this:




NOW PAY ATTENTION ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE !!!!

Kobi™ can see where this is going to lead . . . any time Mountaineer butchers the language y'all are gonna come runnin' here asking for an English translation. However, that would end up being thousands of words per week, and Kobi™ has neither the time nor the inclination to act as the Official Mountaineer Translator™, so there will be no more translations from me. It ends here. If you're going to read any posts by Mountaineer, you do so at your own risk with the knowledge that you will be stuck trying to translate it on your own.

K-

 

^^^^^^^^^
Buhaaaaaahhaaaa thats the bst yet Kobi!!!!

Do you thing he may know any pig latin????.

gearso rearsead earsa ookbay ummyday outinman!!!

 

resurrected from the bowels of the forum.

i was typing an email today and was entering 'i once owned a pair of shorts..... ', and there i stopped. the context of the rest of my email is moot.

i dont know why, but the term 'pair of shorts' suddenly struck me as odd. if i only had one, why would i call them a pair of shorts?

can you enligthten me kobi?

 

Hi billy -

Kobi™ was getting ready to go to the gym, but it's important questions like this that will keep us from our scheduled tasks. The gym can wait!!!!! (Sure, you could say I hate the gym and will look for any reason to delay going, and you might be right there, but that does not diminish the importance of your question.)

Thanks for not sharing the rest of your email. Kobi™ doesn't think he could handle the intimate details about a pair of your old shorts, especially if "shorts" refers to your underwear and not a pair of short pants. To reminisce about an article of clothing in an email must mean those shorts were quite special to you. I can only imagine why . . . actually I don't want to imagine that. I will say I have had articles of clothing that were special to me, but they were either shirts (such as an old flannel shirt that I had for about 17 years) or a favourite pair of sneakers. Occasionally you come across the perfect shoe, that fits your foot just right, as if it were made especially for you, and it's so comfortable, and . . . sorry, got carried away there. But to have a favorite pair of underwear? I can't imagine. Well, actually, say if I was having an affair with Cindy Crawford, and she liked to do strange things to my underwear and then return it to me . . . well, then maybe . . .

Oh, never mind.

To your question.

Lots of things that are actually single items are referred to as pairs. For example, a pair of pliers, or a pair of scissors, or since my mind is still on Cindy Crawford, a pair of panties . . .

With regard to such things as scissors or pliers, it is referred to as a pair because it is two like objects attached together. Even though they function as a single item, they are actually two items working together.

As for a pair of pants, or a pair of shorts, well, word has it that the reason is because the article of clothing in question covers two legs. Whether that's true or not is anyone's guess, but it sounds good to me. As for the aforementioned pair of panties, well, they are cut so short as to not cover legs so technically the definition doesn't hold, but since they are of the same "family" as pants and shorts, I guess the name still works.

In the case of pants and shorts, just like the pliers, it is essentially two items sewn together to preform one function . . . cover the legs (the main function). Two items (a pair) hence the name pair of pants.

You may ask, hey, my jacket covers two arms, so why isn't it a pair? Probably because the primary thing covered is your upper torso (of which there is only one) so it does not qualify for the "pair" status.

Make sense? Hope so, because I'm not going to repeat myself.

Hope this helps. Either way, if you're bothered about why pants/shorts are a pair, and have resisted putting said pants/shorts until you read my reply, then please, for the love of all that's good, put your pants and or shorts on now! Stop sitting around naked! You could put a serious hurt on someone's eyes, not to mention scare the heck out of innocent bystanders around you.

 

thank you kobi,

i dont know why the shorts thing suddenly popped out at me today. i did think to myself earlier, why is a single shirt not a 'pair of shirts'.

i had been lacking some focus in my life, and today i briefly considered starting a one man crusade where i would refer to the shirt i was wearing as 'my shirts'.

from reading your response, i think i may just accept the term 'a pair of shorts' as is.

so, off with my codpiece, and back on with the shorts.


(now that i think of it, a codpiece covers a pair, put its not refered to as a 'pair of codpieces')

 

You know, I could address this, but some things are best left alone. Based on my response with regard to shorts, I will assume you can figure this one out for yourself.

By the way, thanks for putting your shorts back on. You probably prevented a lot of folks from suffering emotional trauma.

Glad I could help -

k-

 

My sister in-law was having her college graduation party, ummmm now. We have to mis it due to oldest kid just got sick. We tried to call but no answer. Unfortunately we forgot to RSVP anyway. So good and bad, they were not expecting us.

All right, so we have already broken numerous points of acceptable etiquette. It is family so some slack is accepted, but I feel we have crossed the line. We could use some advise on how to gracefully recoup?

Sincerely,
Repeatedly Disrespectful

 

WHOA!!!!! . . . you really had to search to dig this thread up!

Dear Repeatedly (can I call you Pete for short?) -

Wow; you're just setting new records for offending loved ones this week, aren't you?!

While Kobi™ makes no pretense about being Mr. Manners™, I do at least have enough common sense which can help one come up with acceptable solutions to just about any situation.

As was exemplified in my response to your post yesterday (you know, that issue, over that thing, where you ended up . . . well, you know . . . ) anyway, my suggestion was to be honest and come right out and call yourself on your behaviour. Honesty is the best policy, and calling yourself on a mistake you made, or poor behaviour, etc., is the best way to deal with a situation.

So, in this case, once post-graduate festivities have settled (say, tomorrow) call the sister-in-law and cop to the fact y'all forgot to RSVP, then explain that your child (I'm assuming it's your child, you were not specific) got sick and that you attempted to let them know you would not make it but were unable to do so. Let the S-I-L know that you feel bad about your lack of conscientiousness, and that you feel even worse that you ended up not being able to attend (pointing out that you really wanted to go). This of course assumes that you sincerely would mean this if you said it (which I am assuming you do).

This "beat them to the punch" way of handling such situations is something I learned as a young Kobi™. I discovered that if I copped to some wrong I had done, before my parents found out about it, it pretty much took away their ammunition making it almost impossible for them to respond in an angry manner or retaliate in any harmful way. If you go up to them and say something like: "Uh, mom, dad, I just wanted to let you know that you'll be getting a phone call from the principle at my school later today. I got in trouble for talking back to my teacher. And yup, that was me, I did that, and I just want to let you know that I'm really sorry. It was wrong." After hearing that, parents really can't bust you for trying to hide it, they kind of admire you for copping to it, and it essentially disarms them so they can't bust you. Oh sure, they could, but they are usually in such shock that they don't.

Now I'm not telling you this so that you will use such methods in a manipulative manner. I just point it out because from those childhood experiences, I learned a valuable lesson (aside from how to manipulate people), and that lesson was this. Honesty is the best policy. And if you are really sorry for something, don't be ashamed and try to avoid expressing that you are sorry, or expressing your shortcoming/error; just get it out in the open and deal with it then and there.

So let her know that you realize that you goofed by not RSVPing, that it was rude and you know that, and you are sorry, and also express your regret for not being able to go.

If she doesn't accept that, then tell her to go "F" herself.

 

Dear Kobi,
Yea like I said in the other thread about that thing where I ended up, yes I know, I said this day... I have had the natural ability to tick people off surprisingly effortlessly. Well it seems to have been this entire weekend. I'm batting 0-20 right now started Friday morning. However loved ones are my only real concern, F everybody else. Sorry, I am ussually not that rude, but the time comes when you have to be sometimes. Maybe I've been mister nice guy to long. I digress.

I had every intention of calling her tomarrow, I was unsure if that gesture was suffecient.

Don't worry, I rarely use anything except logic and/or flattery to manipulate situations. However I typically don't create situations where anything else is needed. I guess I am just off my game this weekend. I hope I get it back before work tomarrow, or we may lose alot of customers this week. Then money spent in said other thread would be the least of my worries.

Thank you,
Pete

 

Wow "Pete", your thanks back to me is actually very telling (not to mention I think you may have taken some things I said in the wrong way):

It sounds like, for the time being at least, there is a lot of negativity/bad vibes/bad energy that you are sending off. Why do you suppose that is? Often we manifest, both physically and spiritually, something deep inside (maybe an unresolved issue, or maybe stuff that is happening around us that we are taking in). I suggest you step back, take a breath, and ask yourself what is going on around you right now? What is going on inside you right now? Are there things that are triggering you to be sending out all this negativity/bad vibes that are in turn coming back at you? In other words, ask yourself and try to find out what's really going on here?


Maybe not (in that this is not a digression). First off, I was kidding when I ended my earlier post with " . . . otherwise tell her to go "F" herself", but interestingly it seems to have triggered you to acknowledge your frustration . . . and that's what I am sensing now, lot's of frustration. You can not be "Mr. Nice Guy" too long. You can still be Mr. Nice Guy without allowing others to take advantage of you, or of allowing things to get out of hand, or feel that you are beign overwhelmed. Again, that feeling of overwhelmed or frustration is a sign of something (I tend to see it as a loss of equalibrium . . . in other words, that something in your environment is just a bit out of wack, a bit off. Find it and you sill start to feel balanced once again and can more readily address the stiuation and deal with it . . . whatever "it" really is (and "it" is rarely what we think it is or what it seems to be . . . there is usually some other underlying issue, something deeper that is causing us to be triggered).

Ultimately, it has to be sufficient because it is actually all you can do. To express yourself is the only REAL thing, anything else you "do" is merely superficial. Your feeling of regret and expression of it are real, are a part of you. If it is heartfelt, then she will accept it.

Again, the manipulation remark (although there is a germ of truth in it) was for illustrative/humorous purposes. Ultimately, manipulation is a lie and leads to more of the same. Honesty is where it is at. Anything else is just wasted effort/energy and leads to no good. Try just being you, honestly and without caveats. This way, whatever comes back to you is the same. We ultimately get back what we put out. Hopefully you will find what is throwing you of balance at this time, and correct it, and achieve balance once again.

Be true to yourself and be cool -

K-

 

Tyler, Tyler, Tyler . . . where do I start?

First off, I am assuming that the other person in your life was the one who cheated on you? Yes? And how can you be "SORTA" cheated on? Being cheated on and lied to are not "small" things and what you are doing is trying to minimize your feelings, trying to deny them, to lessen the blow, to not feel the pain. It is why you fell like destroying something. (Which, by the way, is a BAD idea . . . keep in mind what I wrote above to PSS-MAG . . . that we ultimately get back what we put out. You start destroying things and destruction will come back to you and that's not good).

What you need to do is work through the frustration, which is going to take time and won't be fun. Sorry, but that's life. Without writing about how to do this (it could take volumes) it's best to have friends and talk to them (not sleep with whatever **** happens to pass your way in the meantime . . . which brings me to your question(s):

Aside from some serious syntax problems (I can't give you "woman tips" because I am male, but I know you mean tips for finding women . . .) I can't help here because this is not "Kobi's How To Pick Up Women In Five Easy Steps". And seriously, that's really not what you want. Again . . . we get back what we put out, and that's going to do nothing more than lead you to frustration and possibly a STD or two. Are there women out there looking for a fun time with no attachments? Of course, in fact you need look no further than this forum to find some, but trust me, you don't want to go there.

This is a perfect opportunity for you to start to look within, and to find out what you really want. In knowing yourself you will ultimately attract someone who knows themself too and then you will grow to know each other and to ultimately share bliss together . . . a substantial relationship filled with love, joy, and happiness . . .

. . . or not.

Good luck either way.

 

You were drunk (often?) and she became frustrated and started turning to other(s), or do you mean she was drunk and f'd around?

Yes, venting is good, as long as it is constructive. It can be healthy that way.