did I hear (read ) this one here? -
Shovie driver has a horse for sale - gets a phone call to set an appointment. The voice sounds a lot like Elmer Fudd !!!

Anyway this guy shows up to look at the horse.

He looks at the teeth, & says their welly, welly nice. He looks at the mane & says thats welly, welly nice. He feels all her flanks, & says thats welly welly nice.

Then he says - I'd like to see her **** !!!!

So the owner lifts up the tail.

The guys says - I'd like to wephwase that ---I'd like to see her GALLOP !!!

 

did I hear (read ) this one here? -
Shovie driver has a horse for sale - gets a phone call to set an appointment. The voice sounds a lot like Elmer Fudd !!!

Anyway this guy shows up to look at the horse.

He looks at the teeth, & says their welly, welly nice. He looks at the mane & says thats welly, welly nice. He feels all her flanks, & says thats welly welly nice.

Then he says - I'd like to see her tvvat !!!!

So the owner lifts up the tail.

The guys says - I'd like to wephwase that ---I'd like to see her GALLOP !!!

 

I think we posted something similiar to this one in the past:

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes
to a
costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a
parcel
with the following note:

DearSir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just
right
as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he
receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover
your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.


Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company
another
nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note
which reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your
bald head, stick your wooden leg up your *** and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.



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99 F250XLT Supercab LD
5.4L 3.73 LS
White/Silver
Graphite interior
6 CD changer/Captain's Chairs

 

Slight resemblance here???????????????????








------------------
99 F250XLT Supercab LD
5.4L 3.73 LS
White/Silver
Graphite interior
6 CD changer/Captain's Chairs

 

A cabbie(Chevy Cab) picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and
the cab driver won't
stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring
and he replies, "I have
a question to ask you but I don't want to offend
you." She answers, "My dear
son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I
am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear
just about everything. I'm
sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that
I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me." She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you
have to be single and #2
you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am
single and I'm Catholic
too!"
"OK" the nun says "Pull into the next alley" He does
and the nun fulfills
his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
blush. But when they get
back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My
dear child, said the
nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I
have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun
says, "That's OK, my name
is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."


------------------
Y2K+1 F-150 SCrew
4x2 Lariat 5.4
Black\Silver 2-Tone
Hideous Lariat Striping Removed!!!
Med.Graphite Captain's Chairs
Power Moon Roof
98 Expy Console
Kenwood KDC-9011 & KDC-D300 Stacked In Dash
Class 3 Towing Group
3.55 Limited Slip Axle
Factory Bed Extender
Ameraguard Spray In Liner

Pictures

 

stupid double post

[This message has been edited by SgtFury (edited 11-06-2000).]

 

How come you never see a dumb blond driving a Shovie PickUp?

They are not that dumb after all.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 50

oops recount

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 .........


TWWIL (The Whole World Is Laughing)

 

I think this picture sums up the entire situation about Gore and his re-re-re-re-recount:
http://www.ar15.com/picOfTheWeek/election2000.jpg

------------------
2000 F-150 XLT, 4x2, 5.4L Supercab, Superchip, Styleside, Black with silver two-tone, 3.55 rear, class III towing package with super engine cooling/Auxilary transmission cooling HD package, Heavy duty shocks, 4 wheel disk ABS, overhead console, sliding rear window, keyless entry, dark graphite interior, in dash CD, factory leather wrapped steering wheel, FORD bedliner, FORD black tubular cab steps, K&N air filter, mar-hyde rubberized undercoating, Modine climate filtration system, Bugflector II, Mobil 1 oil, build 7/2000




[This message has been edited by Dustoff (edited 11-12-2000).]

 

*

[This message has been edited by Dustoff (edited 11-12-2000).]

 

Q. How many Floridians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. I don't know.... they're still counting.

------------------
2000 F-150 XLT Sport, Silver 4-door Supercab StyleSide
Short Bed (Only way to fit in the garage)
17" Sport Wheels with BFG tires, 3.55 R, 4.6l V8, Auto (First one in 20 years)
In-Dash Single CD Player, 60/40 Split bench dark graphite

Mods So Far
K&N Filter, Gatorback Spray-In Bedliner, Llumar ProShield Window Tint
WMS Velocity Tube, Black Westin Step Bars

Future Plans
Superchip, Upgraded Speakers/Stereo
FlowMaster Exhaust

 

I hadn't heard this one before...
******************************************
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about!?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving.
Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

 

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?


A. Two, but they are still trying to figure out how to get them into the bulb!!!!!

 

OK someone gave me this joke and I couldn't get it to scan right, so here is the page I made for it.
(running and ducking now....)

Voting101

 

Good ones, folks. Here's one about a dead dog:
_______________

A Shovie owner brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he laid the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry sir, but your dog has passed away.”

“What?” screamed the man. “How can you tell? You haven’t done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!”

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a big Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work sniffing around the dog, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly from end to end. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and went “Bark”.

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, which also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and went, “Meow.” He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog’s owner just about went postal. $600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!”

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. “Well, if you had just taken my word for it, it would have been $50 but, with the Lab work and the cat scan...”


------------------
Black 2000 SC short-box XLT. 4.2 V-6, 5-speed, 3.55 limited-slip. CD, remote entry, factory side steps, rear fender inner splash shields (TSB 00-09-05), FORD box liner.

My third F-series. The other two: '73 F-100 Custom, 240 cube 6, 3 on the tree, tan, "West Coast" mirrors, step bumper, knitted vinyl seat, AM radio; and '98 F-150 XL-SC, XLS package, Pacific Green, 4.2 5-speed, 3.55 ls, FM-cassette.

GREAT trucks!