What is big, orange, and sleeps six?
Our Oakland County Road Commission trucks.

 

ain't that the truth that goes for any where in this great country of ours.

 

Ever notice that everyone driving slower than you is a moron and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

 

Fast: yes
Two truckers are sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began choking on a hambuger. As she gasped and gagged, one trucker turned to the other and said "that little gal is havin a bad time. I'm gonna go over there and help her." He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big hands, and asked, "kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no. He asked "kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she shook her head no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, and licked her on the butt. The young lady was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hambuger and began to breathe on her own. The trucker sat back down with his friend and said "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works".

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98 F150 SC XLT 4.6 V8 Tow Pkg.CHIP,Home-made K&N Airbox mod. "Moonlight Blue" Crome Rails and Taillight covers, Smoked Bug and Rain guards, Painted Visor and Black Running boards. Oh yeah, and one "Blacked-out" grill. Couldn't get sigle C.D. player, DARN! "traffic doesn't get in my way with this Curb Jumper" LOOK-OUT!

 

LMAO To that one!

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98 F150 2WD,Bright Red, Regular Cab, 4.2, 3.55 Superchip, 3 Inch Bullseye Lift Spindles, Manik Grill Guard,Nerf Bars, Vent Visors, Fog lights, Kc Lights, Alpine CD Player, 2 Kenwood Amps, Tinted Windows. And Coming Soon: 3&1/2 Inch Fabtech Lift Kit, 16x8 American Racing Baja Wheels Wrapped With 33x12.5 Mickey Thompson Baja Belted Hp's

 

Andthensometoo,

Do you live in Michigan? i noticed Oakland county.

Chevy trucks, like a rock. And about that fast, too.


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1999 Ford F150 XLT 4x2, Cloth Seats, Amazon green, 16" All season tires, Soft Tonneau Cover, CD Player, 4.6 liter Triton V8, 3:55 ls, towing package, 4 speed auto, K&N Airfilter, soon Superchip and K&N GEN II.

Fast46Triton

The "Shovie" eater!




[This message has been edited by fast46triton (edited 06-24-1999).]

 

A trucking co. was interviewing teams for hire, and asked a couple what they would do if they had just crested a hill in a ice storm, and looked down to notice that at the bottom of the hill was a railroad track on which a train was running. "Well, I would wake up Fred" said one. The interviewer asked "Why would you do that?" The reply: "Cuz he ain't never seen a wreck like this one."

 

Bumperstickers on Shovies:
Chevy Trucks: Americas answer to Mediocrity
My other truck is a FORD
I took a I.Q. test and the results were negitive
Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me
When I grow up I want to be a F150!
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing
Horn broken, watch for finger!
Mirror broken, watch out!
Chevy Engine, watch for Gerbil turds!
Warning: Driver carrys no cash (if this truck is finally running)
Warning: Driver is not equiped with anything

 

Here's a story called The Bunny and the Snake:
_______

Once upon a time, in a little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. As a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down, also knocking the snake about quite a bit. "Oh, my," said the bunny. "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You see, I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going, and, in fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"Quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours, as I am also blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," said the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, and you have really long ears, and your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."

"Oh, thank you! thank you!" cried the bunny in obvious excitement. "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and said, "Well, you're scaly and slimy, and you have a forked tongue and no *****. I'd say you must be a Ford Truck Service Adviser."

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1998 XL SC short-box 4.2 5-speed 3.55LS Pacific Green, A/C, Factory Dark Tinted Glass (like the XLT), Cassette, Carpet, Canadian XLS package (split bench, chrome wheels, side mouldings, box light, tailgate lock). My wife loves to drive it!

 

Andthensometoo,

Funny!

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1999 Ford F150 XLT 4x2, Cloth Seats, Amazon green, 16" All season tires, Soft Tonneau Cover, CD Player, 4.6 liter Triton V8, 3:55 ls, towing package, 4 speed auto, K&N Airfilter, soon Superchip and K&N GEN II.

Fast46Triton

The Terminator!

 

Shifter: I've met that snake at the ford service dept!!! What a dirtbag!

 

Shifter,

LMAO at that one!!!!! That was good!

 

This isn't a truck related joke, but I just heard it the other day and can't stop laughing..

This bartender sees a gorgeous young lady get up from the bar and go to the ladies room. A few minutes later she comes back to her seat, sits down and smiles at him. He thinks, "oh boy, I'm gonna get lucky"! He walks over to her and asks her name. She says her name is Lisa, and could she speak to the manager. He replys "The manager is not here, can I help you"? She says "I don't think so". He says "I can help you with what ever the problem is, honest". She smiles at him and holds up her index finger close to his mouth. He opens his mouth and start sucking on her finger, thinking "WOW, I am IN now"! She says, "would you let the manager know that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room"........

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Mike Boardman '99 F150XLT 4X4 RC,FS,4.6,5spd,3.55LS,ORP,
Towing pkg,K&N GenII FIPK,FLowMaster,SnugLid,Luverne Nerf bars,
bug shield, DK Toreador Red.

 

Tina: Don't know why most auto Service Advisers haven't figured out their job is to work WITH the customers, not against them. And to do their homework. They have in just about every other business. We're not fools, fellas. We see through incompetence real fast. And we spread the word and we don't come back. (Wow! that felt GOOD!) Anyway, here's one for those who like dissing the Bowtie Boys:
________________

A Ford pick-up drove up to a rancher who was sitting on his front porch in a rocking chair along with his dog. Parked out front was a Chevy pick-up. Happens the Ford pick-up driver was also a ventriloquist and, not having a whole lot of respect for Chevy drivers, he thought he'd mess with this Chevy Boy's mind a little. The Ford driver gets out and says to the dog, not the Chevy driver "Hey, dog. Mind if I speak to this Chevy driver here?"

Chevy driver: "That dog don't talk!" Ford driver: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright." Chevy driver: (Extreme look of shock). Ford driver: "Is this your owner? (pointing at Chevy driver)" Dog: "Yep."
Ford driver: "How's he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food." Chevy driver: (Stunned look of disbelief).

Ford driver to the Chevy driver: "Mind if I talk to your horse over there?" Chevy driver: "Horses don't talk!" Ford driver calls out: "Hey horse, how's it goin?" Horse: "Cool." Chevy driver: (An even wilder look of shock). Ford driver: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Chevy driver). Horse: "Yep." Ford driver: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often." Chevy driver: (Total look of amazement).

Ford driver to the Chevy driver: "Mind if I talk to one of those sheep?" Chevy driver: (stuttering and hardly able to talk himself) "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"

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1998 XL SC short-box 4.2 5-speed 3.55LS Pacific Green, A/C, Factory Dark Tinted Glass (like the XLT), Cassette, Carpet, Canadian XLS package (split bench, chrome wheels, side mouldings, box light, tailgate lock). My wife loves to drive it!

 

A dodge owner is trying to sell his heap. He had 95,000 miles on it and was worried that it wouldn't last an other minute. No one was showing any interest in it presumably because of the high milage. One day He told his buddy at work about his problem. His buddy said "I can tell you a way to sell your truck, but it's not legal." The dodge owner was desperate to get rid of it and buy a "real" truck that would last longer,(FORD) so He said "whatever it is, I'll do it." His buddy then told him to go to this place and have the milage rolled back to 45,000 and to tell the guy that HE sent him. The next week the dodge owner meet up with his buddy at work and was asked "did you sell your truck yet?" "No" said the dodge owner "why should I? It only has 45,000 miles on it now."