An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants,
bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down
next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who,
nevertheless, starts a conversation.

French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the
states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American
listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we
put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle
them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used
them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to
France."
:

 

Being 6 again

A man asked his wife what she'd like for Mother's Day. "I'd love to be six again", was her reply. On the morning of Mother's Day, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ***!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

 

When turning 21, a boy from Duluth, Minnesota named Lars had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather, and great grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthdays to the boat club across the lake for their first legal drink.

So when Lars' 21st came around, he and his pal Sven took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Lars stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned, but Sven managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Lars went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked into Lars' eyes and said, "Because your father, grandfather, and great grandfather were born in January; while you were born in July.

 

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife
goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?

With the love and understanding in his voice that all
men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

 

Pontiac Poor old negro thought it a cadilac

 

btt - just because

 

4 more posts and it will have cleared 1,000 posts

 

okay heres a filler post.

 

Heres one more

 

1000 here we go.

 

Now that's some good reading

Scott