Slicker-n owl Sh*t
another one(from my ex's dad)
He would ask"are you on the ball?" you would answer "yes" and he would say"then bounce over here and kiss my a$$
She was uglier than an armful of a$$holes.
He was dumber than bag of hair.
just a few ,,,,98

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98 F-150 4.6 Litre XLT2wd Ext. cab
Yokahama AVS/ST's
prarie tan/tan int.
K/N gen.II fipk
custom dual exh/gibson rectangle tips/rear exiting.
color matched snuglid
Superchip!!!
Westin nerfs blk .powdercoat
Clear front corners
Stillen Quad light air dam, sweet!!
Euro taillights
Cobra 75WXST cb w/weather alert
[b]Kenwood cd w/Radio Shack speakers,don't laugh it sounds pretty good
Viper alarm
On the way/wheels,tires, etc..etc.......
the monochromatic boogie is done,cool!.
Come see my new pictures@ www.my-f150.com

officialtomwaits.com
reverendhortonheat.com

WOW,what a cool site!

FENDER GUITARS ROCK!!!
Had to take the picture out,it was way too out of date ,,,,98

[This message has been edited by 98SCREAMER (edited 01-13-2001).]

 

Some words of wisdom from good ol' Beej:

"slicker'n greased owl *****" when referring to a wet or icy road

"Like a sore d1ck, hard to beat," when talking about something you like or something fast..."My Lightning's like a sore d1ck...hard to beat."

"It's so cold outside I had to stick my finger up my @ss and yell snake to get my pecker to come out so I could ****." (Self explanatory)

DUCK


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November 18, 1999 We will not forget.
The fallen 12 will live in our hearts forever.
Fightin' Texas Aggie Bonfire 1999

 

That company is loseing money "Hand over fist" ...WHAT!?!?!?!

 

"Colder than a witches t!t"

 

"Your Momma"

such a classic

 

"He's so dumb, he couldn't pour **** out of a boot with the direction written on the heel."

When referring to something expensive, "Damn, that ****s as high as a giraffe's *****."

"Go **** on a hot wire fence." Hmm, that might hurt.

 

01sl, I think you're the second one to mention that boot thing.

Evidently, there's a lot of boots sitting around Texas with **** in them. How'd that happen?

 

I think it is a drinking game gone bad. Especially since many people here insist on drinking Keystone Light and that ***** runs through me like water (if not faster). I tell them to try a real beer like Guinness Stout, but they can't handle it.

 

Just out of curiousity,
How many of you know what "Cow Tippin'" and "Stump Broke" are? The second of which, is not practiced in Texas, but in Arkansas, j/k.
Or how about Snipe hunting?

 

cow tipping heard of it.never tried it. stump broke is just plain wrong, and how about those ranchers that were the rubber boots so they can put the sheeps back feet in them(so they can't run off) while they are doin the... well you guys know where this is goin. We don't do the latter of the two in oregon. They do those things in arkansas. hmmm do this mean the wonderfull (not) Mr. clinton does the duty with farm animals? I would have to say yep just look at his wife and monica lewinski. nuff said

 

Another variation on the alphabet one:

AB, C D E D B D Ducks

M R not Ducks

O S A R! C D E D B D Wings?

Y LB, M R Ducks!


My dad's favorite saying: "You ain't slick 'til you can slide down barbed wire!"

My mom's favorite: "If you do that one more time, I'll knock you into the middle of next week without a preview!"




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2000 F150 XLT S/C, V6, 5 Speed (Is there any other way?!) Power everything, CD, Capt chrs, 3.55 axle, BullsBalls,etc...

 

My brothers Fave: "He's so stupid he couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag!"

[This message has been edited by Claudia (edited 02-02-2001).]

 

There is one response that is the ultimate of all time. I use it no matter what anybody says to me. It usually leaves them dumbfounded and I can trot away with an air of superiority.
I really shouldn't give it away free but, here it is:

I know you are but, what am I?

You should just see the look on peoples faces when they ask me for the time!

 

Dang it Raoul, you "beat me to the punch!"

Here are a few more:

"I'll be there in a few shakes of a rabbit's tail."

"He/She is finer than frog fur!"

"That's crazier than a squirrel in a peanut factory!"

"Come here and let me slap you silly."

And when your parent/spouse/g'friend/b'friend is mad at ya for doing something you KNOW you shouldn't have been doing, and they tell you,
"If you just admit it, it'll be alright!"

"I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you!"

Oh, and when I was little, my mom used to LOVE giving me these three lines:

"You just wait 'til your father gets home!"
"You little b!+@# !"
"I can't wait until you are old enough to move out" (to which I'd reply, "good, then I can help you pack my stuff!")

"You look like a yellow-bellied-sap-sucker!"
or a "flat footed mosquito".

"You'll know it's me when you see me."

oh, and one of the best:

THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR FORD DRIVERS ONLY. ALL OTHERS WILL BE TOWED AND DESTROYED!



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2000 F150 XLT S/C, V6, 5 Speed (Is there any other way?!) Power everything, CD, Capt chrs, 3.55 axle, BullsBalls,etc...

 

Or how about:

"Oh that's just a hop. skip and a jump away"
and
"I'm gonna beat the fire outta you"
or
"I'll knock you right into next week" (ok so it's a variation of a few mentioned before)
or my personal fav:
"People in glass houses shouldn't..."
to which I would reply before he finished "live in glass houses, what kind of stupid people are these, dad?"
and
"**** rolls downhill" that was especially funny when my dad explained it with a detailed stick figure drawing and all.

my parents were yankees but one of my grandmothers was a born and bred southerner. Boy she was full of these, too bad I can't remmeber them all!

[This message has been edited by redridinghood (edited 02-03-2001).]