Your Donkey Is An Ass
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 130
Likes: 0
From: Akron, Ohio
I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot and Bitter!!
We used to tie a porkchop around his neck to get the dog to play with him!!
When your trying to accomplish a task and you have a chance of screwing it up, you say "if it doesn't work, we'll always wish it would have!!"
"...on it like a hobo on a hotdog!!"
"go p**s up a rope"
What does a gas engine do (4 cycle)?
Suck, squeeze, bang, blow!
Truck broke? I got no spucking fark!
My personal favorite "... I'm off my soapbox now!!"
We used to tie a porkchop around his neck to get the dog to play with him!!
When your trying to accomplish a task and you have a chance of screwing it up, you say "if it doesn't work, we'll always wish it would have!!"
"...on it like a hobo on a hotdog!!"
"go p**s up a rope"
What does a gas engine do (4 cycle)?
Suck, squeeze, bang, blow!
Truck broke? I got no spucking fark!
My personal favorite "... I'm off my soapbox now!!"
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 240
Likes: 0
From: Bancroft, Ontario, Canada
If a woman is good looking...
"she could make you take back wood you never stole"...
or you would
"crawl across 100 miles of broken glass just to suck the **** that ****ed her last"
goodbyes:
2 ppl
"take err easy"
relpy "I'll take it any way I can get it"
you saying g'bye to buddy
"take her easy, if she's easy take her twice"
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2001.5 SuperCrew XLT 4X4
Silver Clearcoat Metallic
Deep Wedgewood Blue (accent)
5.4L V8
Chrome Tubular Step Bars (Ford)
Captains Chairs
Power Moonroof
3.55 LS
6750 GVWR
Class III Towing Pkg
Mods:
Harley Davidson Exhaust
'01 Lightning Head/Tail Lamps
Pioneer DEH-9200r
Boston Acoustic Components & 5X7s
Box Liner (Ford)
Splashguards (Ford)
Bug Defector Doubles as Rock and Sand/Salt Deflector in these snowy Canadian winters
To Come:
17" Rims/Tires
K&N Air Filter
"she could make you take back wood you never stole"...
or you would
"crawl across 100 miles of broken glass just to suck the **** that ****ed her last"
goodbyes:
2 ppl
"take err easy"
relpy "I'll take it any way I can get it"
you saying g'bye to buddy
"take her easy, if she's easy take her twice"
------------------
2001.5 SuperCrew XLT 4X4
Silver Clearcoat Metallic
Deep Wedgewood Blue (accent)
5.4L V8
Chrome Tubular Step Bars (Ford)
Captains Chairs
Power Moonroof
3.55 LS
6750 GVWR
Class III Towing Pkg
Mods:
Harley Davidson Exhaust
'01 Lightning Head/Tail Lamps
Pioneer DEH-9200r
Boston Acoustic Components & 5X7s
Box Liner (Ford)
Splashguards (Ford)
Bug Defector Doubles as Rock and Sand/Salt Deflector in these snowy Canadian winters
To Come:
17" Rims/Tires
K&N Air Filter
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 22
Likes: 0
From: TN
Sweet tea with a little lemon.
Does a fat dog fart?
Older than dirt.
for y'all that posted sayings about nose picking I heard this one:
The wife says picking my nose is disgusting, so I'll have to go back to doing it myself.
Does a fat dog fart?
Older than dirt.
for y'all that posted sayings about nose picking I heard this one:
The wife says picking my nose is disgusting, so I'll have to go back to doing it myself.
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
From: Winnipeg MB Canada
"I ain't the least little bit circumcised"
"So I sez to the guy,...well, what would you say ?"
"When digging a hole, try to a little smarter than the shovel"
"Go **** up a rope"
"Someone peed on a tree and you hatched in the sun ?"
(Why are these things funnier after a beer or two ?)
Hey, about the sweet tea, they actually brew the tea with the sugar in it ? (Please excuse my ignorance!)
"So I sez to the guy,...well, what would you say ?"
"When digging a hole, try to a little smarter than the shovel"
"Go **** up a rope"
"Someone peed on a tree and you hatched in the sun ?"
(Why are these things funnier after a beer or two ?)
Hey, about the sweet tea, they actually brew the tea with the sugar in it ? (Please excuse my ignorance!)
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 13
Likes: 0
From: Omaha, NE
Ya can't get there from here... (said in a Maine accent)
Oh ya? Then how the hell do I get there?
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'99 F150 XLT Super Cab, V6 4.2, auto trans
[Mods] K&N air filter, lead foot
[Other] Lund Trident bug shield, cheap-*** steering wheel cover
[Sound] Kenwood KDC-MP8017 (plays MP3 files)
[Wants] Air Raid, chip, performance exhaust
Oh ya? Then how the hell do I get there?
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'99 F150 XLT Super Cab, V6 4.2, auto trans
[Mods] K&N air filter, lead foot
[Other] Lund Trident bug shield, cheap-*** steering wheel cover
[Sound] Kenwood KDC-MP8017 (plays MP3 files)
[Wants] Air Raid, chip, performance exhaust
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 37
Likes: 0
From: North Carolina
Had to bring this thread back up.
Today while looking to buy a used Explorer, this guy said, " trying to get my son to clean the truck, is like tryin to push a string".
Old guys from the south are just loaded with great sayings, I just wish i could remember them, so I could use them in my conversations.
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'99 F-150 XLT SC 4x4 5.4L Auto 3.55LS Tow pkg, skid plates, keyless entry, UWS tool box, Superchip, Gibson pipes w/ Flowmaster 40 series muffler, K&N filter, BFG 265/75/16 All-Terrain TA/KO
Today while looking to buy a used Explorer, this guy said, " trying to get my son to clean the truck, is like tryin to push a string".
Old guys from the south are just loaded with great sayings, I just wish i could remember them, so I could use them in my conversations.
------------------
'99 F-150 XLT SC 4x4 5.4L Auto 3.55LS Tow pkg, skid plates, keyless entry, UWS tool box, Superchip, Gibson pipes w/ Flowmaster 40 series muffler, K&N filter, BFG 265/75/16 All-Terrain TA/KO
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 97
Likes: 0
From: Dodge City, I mean Miami,FL USA
How about this saying from the folks at Winn-Dixie supermarkets;
"You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat."
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2000 F150 Lariat Supercab, Oxford White/Harvest Gold, 157"WB, 5.4, 4 wheel Disc ABS, 4R70W, single fact. CD premium sound,
remote keyless entry, full leather, full power access., 3.55 LS, SRW, Class 3, and finally the correct 2.20" double-row radiator....
Mobil 1 5w30 oil with Motorcraft FL-820s
K&N Filtercharger
Penda Bedliner
Solo Radar Detector
"You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat."
------------------
2000 F150 Lariat Supercab, Oxford White/Harvest Gold, 157"WB, 5.4, 4 wheel Disc ABS, 4R70W, single fact. CD premium sound,
remote keyless entry, full leather, full power access., 3.55 LS, SRW, Class 3, and finally the correct 2.20" double-row radiator....
Mobil 1 5w30 oil with Motorcraft FL-820s
K&N Filtercharger
Penda Bedliner
Solo Radar Detector
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 97
Likes: 0
From: Dodge City, I mean Miami,FL USA
Here are a couple,
Like a hair on a biscuit.
I'd slide down a mile-long razorblade into a barrel of iodine, just to drink her bath water.
His family tree ain't got no branches.
Got beat with an ugly stick.
You just gotta love Southerners. They have such colorful expressions....
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2000 F150 Lariat Supercab, Oxford White/Harvest Gold, 157"WB, 5.4, 4 wheel Disc ABS, 4R70W, single fact. CD premium sound,
remote keyless entry, full leather, full power access., 3.55 LS, SRW, Class 3, and finally the correct 2.20" double-row radiator....
Mobil 1 5w30 oil with Motorcraft FL-820s
K&N Filtercharger
Penda Bedliner
Solo Radar Detector
Like a hair on a biscuit.
I'd slide down a mile-long razorblade into a barrel of iodine, just to drink her bath water.
His family tree ain't got no branches.
Got beat with an ugly stick.
You just gotta love Southerners. They have such colorful expressions....
------------------
2000 F150 Lariat Supercab, Oxford White/Harvest Gold, 157"WB, 5.4, 4 wheel Disc ABS, 4R70W, single fact. CD premium sound,
remote keyless entry, full leather, full power access., 3.55 LS, SRW, Class 3, and finally the correct 2.20" double-row radiator....
Mobil 1 5w30 oil with Motorcraft FL-820s
K&N Filtercharger
Penda Bedliner
Solo Radar Detector
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,678
Likes: 0
From: Northern Kentucky
Speed kills but you get there faster
Second place is just the first place looser
He's so old he farts dust
He who stands on toliet, high on pot
He's so dumb he'd try to push a log chain
That's about as good as a broke d*ck
When some falls " Come here and I'll pick you up"
Your about as bright as a burned out light bulb
Not a saying but still funny- Blonde in my hometown had a turn signal out so someone told her she needed "blinker fluid" her response the next day was that she couldn't find any and all she got was "strange looks"
Sweet tea is the only tea
Second place is just the first place looser
He's so old he farts dust
He who stands on toliet, high on pot
He's so dumb he'd try to push a log chain
That's about as good as a broke d*ck
When some falls " Come here and I'll pick you up"
Your about as bright as a burned out light bulb
Not a saying but still funny- Blonde in my hometown had a turn signal out so someone told her she needed "blinker fluid" her response the next day was that she couldn't find any and all she got was "strange looks"
Sweet tea is the only tea
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 264
Likes: 0
From: Northbridge, MA, United States
When someone says something mean to me I usually say one of these:
“Why don’t you go out back and play hide n go ******* yourself”
“How about a nice worm glass of shut the hell up”
Most people like the go out back one.
Or when someone says something stupid I like to say one of these:
“Your about as sharp as a bowling ball”
“You’re a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic”
“Did your parents have any kids who lived?”
“Why don’t you go out back and play hide n go ******* yourself”
“How about a nice worm glass of shut the hell up”
Most people like the go out back one.
Or when someone says something stupid I like to say one of these:
“Your about as sharp as a bowling ball”
“You’re a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic”
“Did your parents have any kids who lived?”
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 118
Likes: 0
From: Canada's TROPICAL paradise
About an ugly girl - "wonder what she charges to haunt a house?"
About something "out of stock" - "that shelf is bare'r than a birds butt at molt'in time"
"If B.S. was a musical instrument, you'd be a brass band"
From the East Coast - " stay were yer at, 'till I come were yer to"
"If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it"
From my Dad - "That'l last 'til the cows come home"
and
" Two half hitches will hold the devil" ( re tying up a boat)
rr
[This message has been edited by roadrunner (edited 05-21-2001).]
About something "out of stock" - "that shelf is bare'r than a birds butt at molt'in time"
"If B.S. was a musical instrument, you'd be a brass band"
From the East Coast - " stay were yer at, 'till I come were yer to"
"If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it"
From my Dad - "That'l last 'til the cows come home"
and
" Two half hitches will hold the devil" ( re tying up a boat)
rr
[This message has been edited by roadrunner (edited 05-21-2001).]