I didn't know tea was available other than cold, sweet, and with a lemon wedge.

My favorite saying for the "loose woman"

"If she had as many on her as she's had in her, she'd look like a porky pine ! !"

 

AHAHAH HOLY SH*T THERE'S SOME FUNNY STUFF HERE

1) MAN WHO RUN BEHIND CAR, GET EXHAUSTED

2) someone asks you for a match, you say "yeah ,my foot and your a$$"

3) damn, you know what would look good on you? me!

4) do you have any Italian in you? would you like some?

5) let's make like a tree and leave

6) let's make like a baby and head out <----LOL!! my fav




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97 F150 XLT: Two-Tone Green and Tan, V6 4.2L Auto Trans 4X4, 3.55 gears, 265/75/16 Dueler AT's, Edelbrock Performer IAS Shocks
MODS:Airaid FIPK, Superchip, Ravin Z55 Exhaust SI/SO
GOODIES:Kameleon Head Unit w/12 disk cd changer, JVC 4ch 560watt poweramp, Bazooka Tube, Boston Acoustic 5x9's, Tinted Back, Westin Nerf Bars..

 

patrickjp, #4 and #6 are so funny, I am going to have to give them a go some time.

Well, I am off like a prom dress.

 

Next time someone highfalutin is arguing with you and they try to phrase their case with the prefix, "Let me reiterate...".

Interrupt them with, "You do and you'll clean it up!".

 

When someone sticks their nose where it does'nt belong I tell them, "The pharmacy called for you." When they ask why, I reply, "Because your prescription of Mind Your Own Business pills are ready!" They never know what to say. As for my workmates I just say, "Top Drawer." They all know thats where I keep (in my toolbox) the bottle of aspirin labeled "MYOB". We have so much fun with that.

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'98 White Super Cab 4X4 Lariat

WustaMass, Where we pahk ah cahs!

 

A few I picked up from my Dad:
Slicker 'n Owl **** on a brass doorknob.
Aint got sense enough to pound sand in a rat hole.
He's so tight with a buck if you put a lump of coal up his @ss it'd be a diamond in a week.
(Variation)
He's so tight with a buck you could'nt pound a flax seed(about the size of a pin head) up his butt with a sledge hammer.

 

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's a$$ than do that.
If you don't use your head you just as soon have two a$$holes

 

"Masturbation is like procrastination, in the end you're only f**kin' yourself."

"If you took his brain and shoved it up a fly's a$$, it'd be like a BB in a boxcar."


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'98 Ford f150, ext. cab, stepside, 4x4, black nerf bars, Flowmaster true dual exhaust, K&N Filter, JL Audio Sound System, Brush Gaurd with Hella 500's

 

He who cooks beans and peas in same pot is not sanitary(think about it )



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98 F-150 4.6 Litre XLT 4x2 Ext. cab
prarie tan/tan int.
Yep,it has alot of stuff installed on it,I just got sick of lugging that huge sig. around,hehe
Come and see my newest pictures@ www.my-f150.com

Everything is shown there,except for the Superchip,Thanks Mike T!!

FENDER GUITARS ROCK!!!

Now,if it only looked like this in real life

 

After the Boss has ball`d you out for no reason turn to your co-worker and ask
"Who do you think Lite his Tampon string on fire"

 

He could f*ck up an anvil w/a toothpic.
Thats harder than puttin a wet noodle up a wildcats as*.
He done sh*t his nest.
That truck couldnt pull a limp ***** out of a sick ****.

These are all daily sayings around were I live.

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99 F-150 Sport XLT Black supercab 4.6L auto 3.55LS
K&N filter, Velocity Tube, dual flowmasters
Ground Force 2 in. rear drop

[This message has been edited by this-end-up (edited 06-03-2001).]

 

I'll hit you so hard, I'll make your mother cry.

When asked why I spent so much money on my truck? I reply, "because I can"

I'll open a six pack of woop a$$

My grandfather has asked me this all my life and to this day I do not know what he is asking about, but he asks "so, what do you think"



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98 5.4L, 4" Rancho Suspension with 33" BFG on 16" Weld Racing Rims, Chrome Brush Guard, Stainless Stell Steps, Alpine Stereo with 4 5X7 MB Quards run by an Alpine approx. 400 watt amp and 4 He2 Rockford's 10" subs run by a 800 watt Rockford amp, and CB and Scanner

 

Ive been working construction most of my life and have heard 'em all! Here are a few.

Tighter than a bulls *** at fly time

"Off the table Mable, the money's for the beer! (dont know exactly what that means but an old guy I used to work with always used to yell that when we were out drinking and he'd throw money on the table to pay for the round)

Nervous as a ***** in church

If wishes were horses peasants would ride (same old guy)

Crazier than a pet coon

I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

He's so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet!

He's so old he's older than dirt!

Busier than a cat covering sh@t and cartin'sand from a mile away.

Its not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there.

Can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

Can't polish a turd

 

The other day two of my friends got in an argument and one said something about being able to kick the others @$$ to which he replied "shut up b!itch, go make me a sandwich" I have no idea why I think this is funny but I couldn't stop laughing.

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1997 F-150 XLT 4x2 SC 4.6L
Flowmaster 40 Series Delta Flow with 3.5"x22" Chrome Slach Cut Tips

Wish List:
-3" Body Lift +
-3.5" Fabtech Spindle
-35" BFG MT Tires
-American Racing Atlas 16x8 Wheels

[This message has been edited by offroad guy (edited 06-04-2001).]

 

Here's one:

Thats about as cute as homemade shoes.

------------------
Steve
Mine:
1999 F-150 Sport Supercab
Bright Red 4.6L Auto
Billet Grill, Billet Ant, Clear Corners, Sony CD Player, Pioneers in all doors, Kicker 100si Amp, MTX preformed underseat box. Fiberglass Bed Cover
Hers:
2000 Expy Sport
Black, Grey Leather 5.4L
Clear Corners, Alpine CD Player, Punch 150 Amp, JL Audio preformed sub box in rear panel.