Maybe try counseling? You have to start somewhere to get to the bottom of it. Maybe it actually is depression. People seem to want to escape reality when they go into that state of mind. I'm all out of ideas.

 

Sorry to hear that man. Maybe just lay off her for a while so you dont bug her and maybe she will realize what shes missing. My best advice is to not keep calling her and trying to visit her because she will get annoyed by this and push her farther from you making everything worse. Just give it some time and if its meant to be things will find a way to work out. I know from past experience the worse way to break things off after a long relationship like that is to not even know what was wrong. It just leaves you in a blank state of mind. Kick back tonight and have a beer and look for the more positive things in life right now!

 

the guys are right, give her some time, dont crowd her, but let her know you're there for her and love her. Just dont let too much time go by. That was my mistake and I think I may be losing my relationship of 10 years. Althought we arent officially together at this time, we are best of friends. We just decided we needed a little time to figure things out. Well, she hasnt called lately, or emailed. She did respond to an email today and just said she is soo busy at work, she would talk to me when she had time. Im affraid Im losing her forever, and it really sux, so I know where you're coming from and how your feeling. I too , could never tell any of my friends here about it. They all jusat say, drink a beer and get over it. I guess they just dont understand. Hang in there bro,you'll be just fine.

BREW

 

I'm sorry if I offend, but I don't see anything so far to indicate that UrbanCowboy and his lady are 'best of friends' or anything close. 'Best of friends' will lean on each other in times of crisis, sharing their hopes and dreams. Casual friends get the brush-off with a "I don't want to discuss it" comment. I'm not seeing this as a tight relationship.

 

well, noy for nothin. But in his defense..im sure its impossible to tell the entire story here. And even if he did, someone will always interpret it different than someone else. I see your point, but after 4 years of living together, theres gotta be something there

 

I called a real good friend with whom I recently had a falling out. I apologized and we hung out this evening and had a little whiskey. He's my only friend who I can talk about serious problems. It didnt hurt that there were two hot twins hanging out with us. Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers that I can get some sleep tonight; although I'm alone. With tthe lack of sleep last night, hopefully I wont have a problem. I'n going to try to talk to her tomorrow. I wont pressure her, but I need to know what options I have available. Is it 100% over, does she need more time, etc. If she needs more time, that is AOK, but I need to know. If it's 100% over, then crossing my fingers aint going to do anything. Basically, I want to know if I should move on, or give her more time.

My friend said I should propose tomorrow. I'm like, um no. Totally bad timing if I did that. I think I'll try some flowers though. Maybe when she is at work so the other girls can gawk over them. I hope she doesn't take it as pressure.

Rocky - We are close, she just doesn't open up easily. It has to do with her childhood.

 

This can be good or bad. From my one experience of sending my ex a dozen roses for her birthday when she was in school so everyone could see...she hated me worse because everyone kept reminding her about me. She didnt want anyone to get the wrong impression. But then again she was one ungreatful person to begin with. Maybe something simple would help out but i woudlnt go over board. I guess its your call. Follow your heart man.

 

There are, I've moved all over the place with all of our transfers and I have made the best of each situation even if it wasn't exactly where I would have preferred to be; unfortunately many people don't seem to grasp that concept.



I actually went back and checked my spelling!! Duh!! I've been to Minot, a long time ago. I have relatives in Hazen, Beulah and Pick City, if it looks like that, it's pretty much as close to BFE as you can get!!

BTW BREW, I'm sorry to hear about the problems you and your g/f are having. Hope you find a way to work things out. We're here for you guys whenever the burden gets to be too much to go it alone.

 

I think my good friend Jack can come over and cheer you up.

31C

 

Well I was hoping to see her at lunch but she has a job interview or something. I just spoke to her on the phone. As has been the case, she acts like there isnt a problem in the world and like I'm just someone on the phone. It's real painful. I asked if I could pick her up after work today at 8pm. It seems such a long way away. I would do anything to just hear there's a possibility for a second chance. But I'm not optimistic, she seems happy being away from me. I do have a poemI wrote, and I'll pick up a stuffed giraffe at lunch; her favorite.

UC

 

She sounds like she needs time to figure out what the heck is going on in her head. It sounded like she was unsure about your situation on several occasions but she has never taken steps to act on her feelings (her problem not yours).

If you are going to meet her tonight, give her your gifts (definitely DO NOT PROPOSE) but tell her that you are just letting her know you still care & are willing to give her time. Then leave her be for at least a week, if she calls you before then fine but you need to really give her some time & space. As it seems now she is moving out for space but you've still been talking daily so it may not seem like space (to her).

Just trying to think like a woman for you guys.

 

As I said before, I'll give her space if she needs. It will be scary as hell, but I can make it work. Remember, she could sign an apartment lease any day. But before I can give her space, I need to know if I even have a chance with her. If I don't, I'd rather suffer through the loss than suffer with the unknown.

UC

 

I know but her moving out to begin with means she needs space.

Darling, I think this is why she needs the space. She needs to figure this out for herself. Thi is something she needs to do before she can tell you if there is still a chance.

Sometimes you have to deal with the unknown for a while in order to find out what the known is.

I truely do feel you pain, I have been the one who was in the unknown before. Hang in there, we are here for you. (where's a huggy smile when you need one?)

 

Soon as I read your post I thought of this song by Mark Collie. Maybe it applies, maybe it doesn't. Great song though.

Song


Hang in there...

 

Well put rac.

I could tell the story of my ex-wife, but that would take forever (my typing skills suck )

Your best bet, is to leave it be for awhile. Play the "Ok, I'll wait for you to contact me" game. Dont talk to her, dont call her, give her the much needed space.

If a woman says she needs space...dude, trust me, give it to her. If for any reason "your" the cause of any issue she maybe having, your contacting her will cause stress in her thoughts, and could end up worse. At this point it doesnt seem likew she wants support from you on the issue, and you contacting her could be causing more un-needed (is that a word?) stress.

Time to play the game. Its a sun ova bish to play, and it gets painful and very stressful.

Keep in mind, you have created 5 pages on this thread, so that tells you "we have your back 100% bro". We're here for ya.