It doesnt make any sense
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 891
Likes: 1
From: Lost some where in the middle of the Ozark Mountains!
She moved out + got an apartment + No affection = True Love?
Dude I hate to say it.. I dont know you from Adam, but your starting to sound like a control freak...
No one has to have a reason to not love someone. Same as you don't have to have a reason to love them either. You just do! When you love someone then you see ALL of thier good points and apprecitate them.. (ie i love the way you ____ or ____ ) When you dont love them so much you see more of the annoying traits "and we all have annoying traits".
I've had chicks pull that sh*t before. They just could not take a hint until I had to yell at them to just leave me the F*ck alone... I would also exaturate my resentfull feelings at that time too. Meaning I might not think that they are the over bearing biatch that I told them they were just so they would stop calling me, following me, or bothering me in general. If they would have just let it lie then maybe I might have came around again later. Because they couldn't they became known as the phsyco chicks and I didn't care to ever talk, see, hear from them again!
If you want to be known as the Physco Ex-boyfriend then do not take heade to what the ladies and gents are trying to tell you. If you want a chance to be with her later then you might think about the position you are trying to force her in. Nothing good can come from the pressure that you are trying to apply by demanding "closure". You will get closure!!! But not what your wanting.
I do feel for you & I know the pain, but you are cutting your own wrist and I can't feel sorry for suicide.
Dude I hate to say it.. I dont know you from Adam, but your starting to sound like a control freak...
No one has to have a reason to not love someone. Same as you don't have to have a reason to love them either. You just do! When you love someone then you see ALL of thier good points and apprecitate them.. (ie i love the way you ____ or ____ ) When you dont love them so much you see more of the annoying traits "and we all have annoying traits".
I've had chicks pull that sh*t before. They just could not take a hint until I had to yell at them to just leave me the F*ck alone... I would also exaturate my resentfull feelings at that time too. Meaning I might not think that they are the over bearing biatch that I told them they were just so they would stop calling me, following me, or bothering me in general. If they would have just let it lie then maybe I might have came around again later. Because they couldn't they became known as the phsyco chicks and I didn't care to ever talk, see, hear from them again!
If you want to be known as the Physco Ex-boyfriend then do not take heade to what the ladies and gents are trying to tell you. If you want a chance to be with her later then you might think about the position you are trying to force her in. Nothing good can come from the pressure that you are trying to apply by demanding "closure". You will get closure!!! But not what your wanting.
I do feel for you & I know the pain, but you are cutting your own wrist and I can't feel sorry for suicide.
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,558
Likes: 3
From: Eastern TN
Originally posted by SAJEFFC
Urban this is as hard for me to say as it will be for you to read but she has moved on. Either there is someone else in the picture now or she has lost interest in you and is trying not to make it ugly. I went through this about ten years ago and it hurts like hell but you will survive I promise. The best thing to do is just let go and if it was meant to be it will happen but you cant make someone love you. Take care buddy and I wish you the best.
Urban this is as hard for me to say as it will be for you to read but she has moved on. Either there is someone else in the picture now or she has lost interest in you and is trying not to make it ugly. I went through this about ten years ago and it hurts like hell but you will survive I promise. The best thing to do is just let go and if it was meant to be it will happen but you cant make someone love you. Take care buddy and I wish you the best.
After the 2nd page of this thread, I would have bet a year's salary that there is someone else in your girl's life.
I went through this years ago and an ex-close friend of mine went through it over the last few months.
Sorry to present this in a short manner, but I think SAJEFFC is dead on.
Have you checked for any signs of another? Phone #'s you don't know on the CallerID? (unless she has a cell, then you could look at it), unexplained credit card bills, new musical interests, new intimate clothing that has not been worn for you, etc.
If this is the case, you will be able to use hindsight to see all the signs later. I know I did...
For your sake, I hope I am wrong.
I sincerely hope you come out of this for the better.
Good luck.
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 462
Likes: 0
From:
Do yourself a favor, a big one: DUMP THE CHICK. Dump her today. Your going nuts over someone who obviously couldn't care less about you. She wants her space? Give her all she can stand.
If a guy says he wants some space, he's labeled as uncaring/unloving, etc.. Blah, Blah, Blah
If a girl says she wants space, stupid guys fall all over themselves to give it to them and wait like a trained dog for the next call or conversation that will sort it all out. Don't be that guy, break the mold and prove you don't need her or her stupid mind games.
Woman are trained from day one to control men. Most of them wont even deny this. Everyone knows guys will fall all over themselves to keep a woman happy. The women know this and exploit in on a daily basis.
In my opinion, here's whats happening: She doesn't want to be with you anymore, but she doesn't have anyone else to fall on. So she keeps you on the leash until she finds someone else. If she can't find anyone, she KNOWS she had you on the leash the entire time so she'll feel sorry enough for you to take you back. You'll go right back to her (as she expected) and you'll make up some story about how you pulled it together and worked it out. She has you right where she wants you and she's playing you like a Nintendo game.
Having been in the military (the best case study in the world for broken relationships and sucessful ones) for over 13 years, I've seen outstanding guys, NCO's, Officers, Pilots, mechanics, cops, etc all brought down buy some fat, stupid house wife who does nothing but bitch about her lousy life. I know one guy who's 300lb maniac bitch wife checks the mileage on his minivan (the only vehicle she permitted him to buy) to make sure he comes right home from work everyday. Fatzilla (her nickname) doesn't have a job other than raising their 2 children. This NCO makes all the money in the family and he isn't allowed to spend one dime. A group of us asked him to go to the local Hooters for beers and wings. He said he was not ALLOWED to go, Fatzilla doesn't ALLOW him to go to places like that. I've actually seen this women hit this guy for violating some of her policies. He sucks it up and usually mumbles something about the good of the kids. ***** THAT. There is no way I would tolerate anything like that.
That's what's in store for you if you continue on a path letting someone put you on a leash and play you like this chick is. You want more proof she doesn't give a sh$t about you? You bought a house for the two of you and she complained about it. Most women are happy to get flowers, you bought her a house for the two of you. You even mentioned common law. So you have a house and are on the hook by common law? She KNOWS you're on her leash like a obedient dog. You are screwed if you let this continue.
In my own situation, my wife was absolutely misserable when we moved from the duty station we met at. She thought my only purpose was to grovel at her feet and make her happy. She could not fathom the thought that my job is to defend the freedom of the US and its interests. I protect the free world so we can all surf internet **** and post on sites like this. That means that I'll be away for some holidays and birthdays and maybe I wont be there sometimes when she needed me. She used her unhappiness at our current location and tried to get me to fall at her feet. Sorry Toots, KC-10 FE doesn't roll like that. She made my life hell for almost one year. I finally put MY FOOT DOWN and told her: Get off the couch, put down the Ben & Jerry's and make something of yourself or you're history. We had a long shouting arguement for like 2 hours. In the end, she even admitted to not caring about anything other that her own misery. Now, almost a decade later, we're still happy together & she has a sucessfull career where she makes MORE $$$$ than I do. All because I didn't let a woman control me.
This is obviously not the answer you want, but it is reality and reality sucks some time.
KC-10 FE out...
If a guy says he wants some space, he's labeled as uncaring/unloving, etc.. Blah, Blah, Blah
If a girl says she wants space, stupid guys fall all over themselves to give it to them and wait like a trained dog for the next call or conversation that will sort it all out. Don't be that guy, break the mold and prove you don't need her or her stupid mind games.
Woman are trained from day one to control men. Most of them wont even deny this. Everyone knows guys will fall all over themselves to keep a woman happy. The women know this and exploit in on a daily basis.
In my opinion, here's whats happening: She doesn't want to be with you anymore, but she doesn't have anyone else to fall on. So she keeps you on the leash until she finds someone else. If she can't find anyone, she KNOWS she had you on the leash the entire time so she'll feel sorry enough for you to take you back. You'll go right back to her (as she expected) and you'll make up some story about how you pulled it together and worked it out. She has you right where she wants you and she's playing you like a Nintendo game.
Having been in the military (the best case study in the world for broken relationships and sucessful ones) for over 13 years, I've seen outstanding guys, NCO's, Officers, Pilots, mechanics, cops, etc all brought down buy some fat, stupid house wife who does nothing but bitch about her lousy life. I know one guy who's 300lb maniac bitch wife checks the mileage on his minivan (the only vehicle she permitted him to buy) to make sure he comes right home from work everyday. Fatzilla (her nickname) doesn't have a job other than raising their 2 children. This NCO makes all the money in the family and he isn't allowed to spend one dime. A group of us asked him to go to the local Hooters for beers and wings. He said he was not ALLOWED to go, Fatzilla doesn't ALLOW him to go to places like that. I've actually seen this women hit this guy for violating some of her policies. He sucks it up and usually mumbles something about the good of the kids. ***** THAT. There is no way I would tolerate anything like that.
That's what's in store for you if you continue on a path letting someone put you on a leash and play you like this chick is. You want more proof she doesn't give a sh$t about you? You bought a house for the two of you and she complained about it. Most women are happy to get flowers, you bought her a house for the two of you. You even mentioned common law. So you have a house and are on the hook by common law? She KNOWS you're on her leash like a obedient dog. You are screwed if you let this continue.
In my own situation, my wife was absolutely misserable when we moved from the duty station we met at. She thought my only purpose was to grovel at her feet and make her happy. She could not fathom the thought that my job is to defend the freedom of the US and its interests. I protect the free world so we can all surf internet **** and post on sites like this. That means that I'll be away for some holidays and birthdays and maybe I wont be there sometimes when she needed me. She used her unhappiness at our current location and tried to get me to fall at her feet. Sorry Toots, KC-10 FE doesn't roll like that. She made my life hell for almost one year. I finally put MY FOOT DOWN and told her: Get off the couch, put down the Ben & Jerry's and make something of yourself or you're history. We had a long shouting arguement for like 2 hours. In the end, she even admitted to not caring about anything other that her own misery. Now, almost a decade later, we're still happy together & she has a sucessfull career where she makes MORE $$$$ than I do. All because I didn't let a woman control me.
This is obviously not the answer you want, but it is reality and reality sucks some time.
KC-10 FE out...
Last edited by KC-10 FE; May 3, 2005 at 09:09 PM.
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 387
Likes: 0
From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
Well Cowboy, I hate to say it but it's kinda sounding like she wants to part ways. I think it is reasonable for you to want an explanation for why she had such a sudden change of heart but if she's become as cold and unfeeling as you say, you may not get one. I do agree with the folks here. . .KEEP THE HOUSE. . .if you can afford the payments don't get rid of it because it is one of the best investments toward your future you can make. If you can't afford the payments, consider getting a roommate but hang on to the place as long as you can. And do what r2rw/ says, get yourself a puppy. Having to devote your attention to another living creature, and puppies do require a lot of attention, will definitely fill up some of the empty space.
Good luck and don't stay home and mope, get out and begin living your life again. I know it's hard and you may not feel up to it but getting out and meeting with friends will help speed you along the road to recovery.
Good luck and don't stay home and mope, get out and begin living your life again. I know it's hard and you may not feel up to it but getting out and meeting with friends will help speed you along the road to recovery.
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,376
Likes: 2
Yup, keep the house. Even in my mediocre neighborhood, I've averaged about $10K per year in appreciation. So I have about $85K in equity after 8 years. Yeah it's chicken scratch compared to many here but it's $85K more than I'd have if I were still renting. And my payments are still the same after 8 years while rents have skyrocketed. It was tough the first couple years but now my house payment is cheaper than renting a 1 bedroom apartment.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,552
Likes: 0
I'm the oldest child in my family. After watching my brother get married, my sis just recently got married, and seeing some of the stupidest shiat I've ever seen that goes on in a marriage... I choose not to get married anytime soon. Both couples are like two kindergarten kids fighting over a lolly pop. Just a sit back and watch observation. 
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 1997
Posts: 1,286
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From: Littleton, CO USA
Hey Urban, sorry I haven't been reading htis thread from the beginning. In fact, I havent even read it all now. Just a few posts here and there. If you need to hang out for beers, let me know. Just don't criticize me a month later for helping you when you decide to reconcile and your pissed at me for supporting you (inside joke there... LOL)