TTT

Hi Kobi,

Well, here's my question:

I have a mother-in law, (BTW is in fact very nice and helps out alot with babysitting the kids even if she lives 150 miles away), and she is having problems with her ABS system in her 98 Camry. The last time she had her car fixed for that problem at a Toyota Dealership was 2 years ago and it cost her $1000. So I tried to find and answer on the net and I even found a Camry forum, but I still have not found a decent answer for her problem. The camry forum just isn't like this one

Since I find that there are so many smart people on the F150 Forum, I'm thinking that maybe someone here may be able to help, but I'm afraid to ask a Toyota Problem on an F150 Forum.

So, What do you think, would I risk persicution if I did ?

Thanks
Best Regards

Dpostman

 

Dear Kobi....

I am moving in with my girlfriend this winter (after our respective leases are up in each others apartment). We have been together for a while now, and have decided this is the next step we need to take(ie she says so). Anyway, her mother happened to move in with her a few months ago, and has said she wants to move in with us also. How do I stop this? She contributes nothing to the house financial wise. She keeps looking for a job(supposedly) but cant find anything. I keep telling my girlfriend, that I am not moving in with her mom. What should I do? your advice is really needed oh wise one.

 

Dear Dpostman -

First, thanks for keeping the thread alive, although I'm sure wstahlm80 will want to have a few words with you.

Well, I don't know if you'll risk persicution, but you might risk persecution.

Now, although this is an F150 forum, as long as you post such a question in the General Discussion forum, it really shouldn't be a problem. That's not to say it won't be, but it shouldn't.

In a forum where folks discuss everything under the sun from their frustrations with their trucks, to their sexual inadequacies, to how they are beating people up in restaurant parking lots, to the nature of God and existence, to who is the best right tackle in the history of the NFL, I don't see why a question about a Toyota braking system should be exempt. Heck, we've had people here talk about their Focuses (Foci), their Novas, their Belvederes, and once a guy even talked about his Dodge truck and lived to tell about it.

Heck, I've mentioned my car, even posted pix of it, and let's face it, the parent company of its manufacturer is Toyota, and I'm still here!

Just be aware, there are going to be those who are going to write a reply somewhat like this:

"Hey man! WTF ?! This is a phuckin FORD TRUCK site! What are you doing posting about some POS JAP car? What are you, man, GAY???? You commie!!!! I hate you! I want to kill you!!!!! My wife is more of a man than you!!!! If I ever find out who you are I'm gonna take my truck and drive over your POS Jap car!!!! I bleed FORD BLUE you queer! and so on and so forth.

Now, if you've read this thread in its entirety you might remember that the psychological concept of projection has been examined. This is a classic example of that. Any of the Neanderthals who answer in the above manner are actually trying to hide the fact that they feel that they are commie, gay, a-holes. So, if you get a reply/replies like that, just sit back and smile, secure in the knowledge that some insecure little schmuck is having a hard time coming to terms with his homosexuality.

Then ignore them.

There are a lot of reasonable folks here who will answer any question you might have. Keep in mind however it doesn't hurt to start your thread with the requisite "I know this isn't about an F150 . . . you guys are great . . . you have demonstrated technical know-how that leaves me in awe . . . so I turn to you, my F150 brothers, in an effort to help MY MOM (don't say mother-in-law . . . some kids here have issues with that) . . . etc. In other words, soften them up first.

That said . . . a thousand bucks for brake work? And after two years they are bad again? Dude, go to a different dealer this time if it turns out you'll need to go that route . . .

and remember . . .

always use Genuine Toyota Parts™.

Kobi-

 

^^ Absolute genius at work. Great reply!

 

Dear dinty-

First, and this is to satisfy my own curiosity, you each hold a lease for the other's apartment? What's that about? Golly, real estate law sure has become complex! Are there tax advantages to this?

Anyway . . . regarding the GF's Mom . . .

Next, let me just say . . . the following is just my opinion . . . you do what you want . . . I'm not responsible for anything you may or may not decide to do. That said . . .

OK . . . Reader's Digest condensed version:

Dude . . . allow this to happen and you're in for a world of hurt.

Longer version:

I'm going to quote Nancy Reagan here: "JUST SAY NO"

Let's review:

You start with a strong, certain, statement of fact. You 'da man! You're in charge!

Oops . . . scratch that . . . you're not in charge. Now this can mean a couple of things:

A) She makes the decisions, she runs your life

B) You're attempting sarcasm here and you're exhibiting that you are resentful of her and her decision and you're not all that sure you really want to do this co-habitating thing. (Or this is the resentment of you're already knowing that you're going to give in to "MOM" living with you.

My guess is that it is a bit of all-of-the-above.

OK. You have demonstrated that you DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. THis is your true feeling. Don't try to talk yourself out of it or make excuses for how you feel.

You resent her. Now, with this knowledge, how do you think the quality of life will be in your house if you allow her to live with you two?

You've already done it . . . you've told the GF . . . NO . . . at least, I'm assuming you really have . . . actually, my guess is that you have NOT actually made that a non-negotiable, firmly stated point. It more likely came out something like this:

"Gee honey, I'm really not that keen on your mom living with us. I'd prefer that not happen. Sorry about that sweetie, but I hope we can work this out." or something similar.

Look dinty, your post makes it clear that if you do move in together, you don't want mom there, that you resent her. And that's OK. The problem is you want to appease the GF and try to make everybody happy. My question to you is, what good is appeasing everyone when the compromise will almost certainly spell the death of the relationship.

Sure, relationships require compromise, but A), that works both ways, and B) they also require that the foundation/environment be as conducive to keeping the relationship alive.

You're in a situation where, at the moment, you feel like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. But if you're afraid that if you don't allow mom to live with you, you'll "lose" your GF . . . I can tell you that the odds are high that the same will happen if you do allow mom to move in (based on your comments in your post).

So you might as well put your cards on the table now and see what happens. The chances of losing the GF now are about 50/50 if you hold your ground. The chances of it coming crashing down after mom moves in are more likely.

Keep in mind, it was Sun Tzu, I believe, who wrote, a wife and her mother in the same household far outnumbers the husband who will lose every time any type of conflict arises. Or something like that.

Allow mom to move in and you're probably one big step closer to the end of your relationship.

Of course, this is just my opinion. I could be wrong.

By the way, whatever you decide to do . . . good luck!

Kobi-

 

Kobi for president ! ! !

 

Won't work, he is too smart and too much common sense.

 

See how the left complicate things ....lets try it from the right.

Dont live with her if you ain't married. Marry her first. Choose your or better yet her vows appropriately....I suggest the "honor and obey" line be included for her.

Now that you are married, having chosen the correct vows and using your new found power as the dreaded son-in-law...simply say No. The wife will listen, and the MIL wont want to live with her SIL.

Problem solved.


Sorry Kobi for the answer I know its against the rules....Luv Ya

 

Thank you so very much Kobi


Dpostman

 

Dear Vader -

It makes me laugh when you state I'm a "lefty". It's not the first time you've done this (at least, if I recall correctly, it was you who has made similiar comments in the past).

Wouldn't you just drop a cow if I told you I was Sean Hannity?

In fact, you'd probably drop a cow if you knew my voting record, and general views . . .

Be that as it may, and regardless if he lives with the GF first or not, by marrying her and not having resolved the MIL issue prior, he puts himself in a losing situation becasue he will then have created a perceived burden of "I'll end up divoriced if I don't give in . . . " and for some reason, that particular thought changes things completely and usually results in concession.

Trust me . . . I've seen this plenty of times. Marriage changes one's thinking process and their resolve. Fact of life.

Kobi-

 

Awww shucks...dont take it the wrong way....just funnin

I know you aint no tree huggin hippie....

From where I am (on the right)....Sean is a leftie...one of them Neo-Cons....so you gotsta be a leftie to me.


Women do that in general.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.....

 

Thanks Kobi

you actually have hit the nail on the head so to speak..My lease isnt up till february 2006, we have discussed (and I say we because I want to move in also) moving in around december 2005...So I do have some room to work with in regards to living quarters. I have thought about just telling her that I am staying in my apartment until you decide what you want, a life with me or a life living with your mom..She knows I dont like the idea of living with her mom I just haven't told her any ultimatums. Should this be my next step since I really truly do not want to live with future MIL? I think I am ready for the consequences on what will happen.

 

Thanks jamz, but if nominated, I will not run, and if elected, I will not serve.

Wait a minute. I'd get limos everywhere with police escorts that open traffic, AND I'd get to fly everywhere in Air Force One . . . right? . . .

OK. I'm in!!!!

As I mentioned with regard to Mr. Walken, the only real requirement is that I be able to look presidential . . .

Let's see:



Heck yeah, I could pull that off!

Now, I'm going to need a good PR machine, and a lot of folks to run the campaign (we'll start out grassroots and go from there),

and . . . I'm going to need a seriously hot and smart babe to be the First Lady (unfortunately, you can't get elected without one), preferably someone who already has exposure and a name (only helps the PR value) (so that excludes the current GF )

oh yeah, and a VP running mate . . . .

gotta think about this.

Kobi-

Edited because, until they get a staff, Presidential candidates should type without errors.

 

Dear Kobi,

Is this true, or is it another fake?

https://www.f150online.com/forums/sh...1&postcount=15

 

Dear dinty-

Keep in mind, an "ultimatum" is not your only option . . .not in the sense that you mention here in your post. You wrote:

Your girlfriend can have both. She have have a life with you, where she lives with you and maybe eventually marries you . . . without her mother living with you two . . . and she can still "have a life" with her mother. It's just that it does not involve mom living there with you.

I still have a life with my mom, it's that she lives 200 or so miles away. I've got one with my sister too, and she lives about 400 or so miles away. I've got some friends who live 3000 miles away . . . so it can be done.

Also, there's a way to let your GF know your serious about this and that it's not negotiable without being mean or cruel. The best way to convince someone of something is to make them think they thought of the idea in the first place. She might (will) bring up the mom thing sooner or later and then throughout the conversation you can highlight all the negative points (not all at once . . . . slip them in here and there) and let her realize that mom moving in is not such a great idea and will almost certainly be detrimental to your relationship (you see . . . you care!) She will then realize that mom is not an option and will say something like "You know, we should mom find a place of her own . . ." and bingo, everyone's happy, you keep your sanity and your relationship . . .and life is good.

If however that doesn't work (50/50 chance) then eventually you're going to have to say straight out . . . NOT.GONNA.HAPPEN (but politely . . . because the last thing you want to do is make her assume a defensive position). And if that doesn't work . . . well, it's better to find out now rather than later.

Good luck-

Be nice-

Kobi-