OUCHIE! Sore subject much?

See 'Brewski, what I did earlier is called a 'comparison'. A comparison is a rhetorical device often used to communicate a point in principle with which another person who, at some point has found themselves in a similar situation, can relate and understand.

Id est, you calling me and anybody else who utilizes corporal punishment 'wrong' because you don't understand it although it works for some is akin to folks telling you that you're 'wrong' for using Amsoil because they don't understand it, yet it worked for you. Get it?

I get it. It just hasn't been your day. It's OK, buddy. Win some, lose some. There's always tomorrow!

 

It's not a contest.

I'm just against all that. If you couldn't tell.

It's very understandable why, to me anyway. I've had to step in the middle of that in the past. Very very ugly situation, but I'd do it again in a minute.

 

Hey, bud. If you were involved in something horribly wrong in the past, I feel for you. I really, really do! Just recall that I agreed that the actual 'beating' of a kid (ANYTHING more than a swift smack on the butt) is unacceptable.

 

This is a tough read! I was spanked as a child, and am probably a better person because of it. I was as big as my father by age 11. I remember the look on his face when I was 12 and caught his hand, that was his last attempt. By that time, I was ashamed to let them down. My grandparents (moms side) never had to raise their voice to us, I would have never wanted to let them down. I am so fortunate to have a nearly 4 year old who says please and thank you, minds and shows respect to other adults. We get a lot of compliments on her behavior. She has her moments at home, but has never thrown a fit in public. We talked about spanking or not spanking I don't know how many times. She went through a hitting phase just prior to this past Christmas, and I nearly swatted her hand for it, but thought what good would it do to teach her not to hit if I was hitting her to do it. My mom has worked in an elementary school since I was there and it's sad/amazing how kids have changed since my days in third grade. They don't even have detention any more...instead a kid gets sent to a special room, fills out a "plan" which is a fill in the blank kinda thing and is off to recess as soon as it's complete. They can't read, write, do math, color in the lines and so on. My kids will NOT go down that path! I don't know what we've done in particular with my daughter other than spend time with her, read to her, play with her and so on. It's sad to say, but some of my buddies that have children ate not involved with them at all. I remember one buddy bragging about how his son liked to sit there and watch him play video games. Are you kidding me? My future brother in law is a whole new chapter of what not to do as a parent, and his ex wife is even worse. We just found out 3 of their 4 kids are failing school, one of which is kindergarten! Why are they failing, because they have missed 70+ days of school. The oldest is 14 and a very bright kid. I feel bad for her because she is usually
playing parent, sometimes she plays parent to the parent. If she keeps it up, she will be ok, the other three don't have much of a chance at this point. I get called old fashioned a lot, but I believe it's all about respect. Even though I got spanked, my parents made sure we were respectful. We always called adults by mr or mrs, said please and thank you and so on. I wouldn't have been spanked for not saying thank you or by calling the neighbor by their first name, but it would have embarrassed my parents, so I did as I was taught. As I'm thinking about this, I really only got spanked for being mean to my little brother.

OP- 15 will be plenty old enough for my children when that day comes to have adult conversations about respect and responsibility. I was a kid who didn't do much of my homework, but it was because I knew I could pass any test they wanted to put in front of me. I knew what percentage of my grade was based on homework and how much I had to do to pass and stay eligible for sports. It drove my parents and teachers nuts! Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have done more. College would have been cheaper and I wouldn't have started my adult life in debt. Might have went to a better college and been further ahead in my career by now. May have been driving a new Raptor instead of an 05 XLT? who knows? Maybe a dose of reality will help get the kid back in gear. Maybe take a little trip to a job placement agency, temp agency, welfare office, or something of that nature. Or maybe take a more positive route and have someone who does something that interests him/her (sorry, don't recall which) and is successful at it talk to them about what it takes to get where they are. I do not envy your position and dred the day when I'm at a loss as a parent. Clearly you want the best for them or this thread wouldn't exist. I hope that you are finding the answers you seek, and your kid gets back on the right path.

 

 

People do some strange things and that ones been in the news..

 

I hope so as well. I hope to God he's looking elsewhere for answer's. Most here seem to get they're jolly's roughing them up a bit. Or had fun on the receiving end. One even takes pride with small animals, then rolls his eyes at me for not feeling the same way.

Good post tho, - most of it. There's a few things I wish I new earlier in life. Then there's always the things I wish I didn't know. Like what people do to they're kids behind closed doors. All I can think of at the moment.

 

Yea, alrighty then.

 

I'm done, - just remember , what goes around comes around. Hopefully 10 fold.

 

Behind closed doors? I'm not sure I'm reading that the right way or not, but I don't thing anyone here is saying go home and rough up your kid. How bout that mom we all see at walmart yelling at her kid through the whole store, then when she's had enough, spanking the kid repeatedly, that's the one I worry about. I worry about the people like my buddy who don't pay attention to the kids when they are home. I worry about people like my future bro in law who takes not paying attention to a whole new level and is setting his kids up to be just like mommy and daddy, maybe worse. I used to manage a grocery store where everything is super cheap and you could save a lot. I have literally heard a woman say she was glad that she got pregnant when she did because they needed the extra food stamp money. I quit there because of people like that, I can't watch it. I think most of us grew up in a time when it was socially acceptable to spank your kid, and were spanked. I'm not sure where it changed, but it has. I too believe that anything more than one swat is beating your kid. Like everything else, it can be taken too far. To be honest, I pray that I never have to swat my kids. I deserved the ones I got, I used to be pretty mean to my brother, and I don't blame my parents one bit for it...should proably thank em.

 

'What's God have to do with < parenting > ?

Yea, your getting a little off topic there chief. Getting you forums mixed up. You must preach allot.'

Gotta be careful, 'Brew! You're starting to contradict yourself a might. Besides, changing the subject like that is 'telling'.

OK, getting their 'jollies'? Man, are you warped?! Look, I don't know what happened to you that turned you into the Spockian poster child you are today, but whatever it is, I'm sorry it happened.

And whatever happened doesn't mean that every person who spanks their child is an evil monster who does it for sport! The first time I ever saw my Dad cry was after he had to spank me. I didn't have to ask why he was crying. It was obvious that it really did hurt him worse than it hurt me.

Your dog won't hunt. Sorry.

For somebody who's so dead-set against beating, you sure seem to enjoy the hell outta beatin' that dead horse.

I will agree with one thing you said. I hope the OP is looking elsewhere for answers too...anywhere but your posts here.

 

Did I quote you in that post? Did I mention your name in that post? Was I talking to you? No I did not and was not. Don't get so fricken paranoid, unless you have a reason for it. Can you speak for everyone? I don't think so. I complimented your post and didn't say boo about the rest. So what's your problem??

 

Right. And ignoring kids when they deserve discipline? Yeah, I can't bear the thought of what that ten-fold punishment might be.

 

Damn, 'Brew! Now who's defensive? Sheesh!

 

Stop cross posting. How many forums are you going to bring into this one ? Yea, ones not enough for a dirt bag. I understand.

- God has plenty to do with parenting jack. What an asinine thing to say.

What does God have to do with parenting

Just keep that doubt pal..

Pound,kick,claw,scratch, it's your kids and when you do that to them, I hope you realize the low life basterd that you really are.