I can guarantee you that my folks showed so much love, care, and compassion for me that not ONCE did I EVER think they were being mean or evil when they spanked me. Quite the contrary.

 

I'm going to go ahead and go w/ the general consensus from a couple other forums i'm on.
"rewarding kids for everything they do is what is wrong with america today"

Between a few spankings (got maybe 3 or 4 in my child hood for BIG screw ups) and a long *** grounding it straightened me out. My last grounding was around 12 or 13.

Him not doing his work? he knows what he should do, he's just lazy. So now because he is lazy you are going to reward him for something he should be doing.

What are you going to do when he gets a job? reward him when he comes home from work for cleaning out the toilets and waxing the floor?

 

In spite of the current opinions, I believe in "whoopins" when appropriate, but not for a 15 year old. My dad tried to whack me when I was 16 and I pinned him against the wall - from that day on he never laid a hand on me again.

 

Yeah, I would have NEVER even thought about doing that to my dad, and I've dwarfed him since I was 13. He has always been more than just another dude to me, and I had too much respect for him to do that. Besides, he can STILL kick my ***, so it wouldn't have done me any good.

I agree with too many rewards being detrimental as well. Just as not every little bad deed warrants a whoopin', not every good deed warrants a reward. Some things are just expected!

 

Yuh big bully's.

I have two girls, - it was enough being disappointed with them or angry at times.

They didn't like neither.

 

Try? I haven't done that, not going to. I was blunt enough imo.

 

Just curious how you know this for certain? If you have a method for knowing 100% that your kid is not using drugs, please share.


BTW, is your 15 year old a boy or girl? I did not see mention in the original post. Might make a difference.

 

Spankings work... we all used to get them growing up. And writing 100x "I will not... again" God that sucked

 

So that is what warped you.

 

A lot of kid's today are just plain lazy, spoiled and have bad attitudes. You try to reason with them and they get flip with you. I've got an 11 yr old grandson like that. My daughter can't even correct him. When I was growing up in the 50's and 60's my buddies and I respected our parent's and for the most part listened to them. Having dad's that were in WW2 a few year's earlier and were still pretty tough got your attention too when they got home from work!

 

I think it's a mixture of that and talking to you for the past years

 

Boys are different. Sometime the only thing that they understand is a spanking. I agree that should always be the last resort. To this day my son does not like disappointing me and he's 25 years old been out of the house for 7 years. joined the Navy right out of high school. I can imagine if I had a girl I would never have physically punished either.

 

Kick his lazy *** out!!!

 

I am with Jbrew on the no spanking.. My parents raised me and my brother without spanking us and we turned out respectful and pretty all-around responsible adults. There are more ways to disicpline kids than taking a belt or a hand to them.

My fear was taking my bike away from me. That was my moms go-to... ok, no bike for a week. Should have seen my face... only had that happen once or twice.

We are expecting our first kid in August but me and the wife have already talked about and agreed on discipline as she gets older... you have to be in agreement as a team, no, well, dad said i could do this, or Mom said it was ok with her. You have to be consistent with punishements.. no saying a week, then two days later, well go ahead.
Now, this is our first kid and i am sure we will make mistakes.. but we try and stick to this scheme..

 

It may be something else that you're not thinking of. I had the same problem when I was a kid and it turns out I'm ADD and I had something happen at work that made me get tested and now that I'm on medication I'm a lot better. I still have my day's where I can't seem to focus even with the medication and my doctor say's that's pretty normal. I got tested when I was 35 and there could have been a lot of frustration and heart ache avoided had I been tested when I was much younger.

It's a pretty simple process and it takes about 2-2-1/2 hours for the visual and audio tests as well the doctor asking some standard questions. So it may be something to look into and think about.