Need some girl advice
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Joined: Apr 2008
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From: guess
all that chick is gonna do if you got married is realize thats she's missing out on being 18 and single after getting married, divorce you and take half of your stuff. because 18 year olds don't have any stuff yet. that would be the best case scenario.
Worse case scenario would be yall got a divorce, found out she was pregnant, and this is where the kanye west song starts playin'...
Worse case scenario would be yall got a divorce, found out she was pregnant, and this is where the kanye west song starts playin'...
how true
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
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From: Maricopa, AZ
I can't even get a girl friend...
Girls hate men who are too smart and non-flirty.
I don't know how to flirt, which is the first thing. Secondly I try to talk to them, but they think I'm really super boring. Lastly, I just keep to myself.
I wish girls were more like men... very out going and willing to ask a guy out. Instead of me trying to probe into women's lives.
Ha, funny I should mention this... since I've been looking for a girl friend, I've ran into one major problem. They got boyfriends already.
What's crazy is the ones that are decent, already have boyfriends... but what gets me though, is that some of them are complete idiots.
I guess I'm too good for any women.
I don't understand... if I was a women, and I was looking for a guy, I'd look for the ones with smarts, money, and common sense.
Some of the men these women are in relationships with probably don't know how to fix a light switch, let alone know how to take on daily responsibilities. Then again, on the flipside, if the women likes that kind of man, I suppose I wouldn't want them.
So... who the heck knows....
Girls hate men who are too smart and non-flirty.
I don't know how to flirt, which is the first thing. Secondly I try to talk to them, but they think I'm really super boring. Lastly, I just keep to myself.
I wish girls were more like men... very out going and willing to ask a guy out. Instead of me trying to probe into women's lives.
Ha, funny I should mention this... since I've been looking for a girl friend, I've ran into one major problem. They got boyfriends already.
What's crazy is the ones that are decent, already have boyfriends... but what gets me though, is that some of them are complete idiots.
I guess I'm too good for any women.
I don't understand... if I was a women, and I was looking for a guy, I'd look for the ones with smarts, money, and common sense.
Some of the men these women are in relationships with probably don't know how to fix a light switch, let alone know how to take on daily responsibilities. Then again, on the flipside, if the women likes that kind of man, I suppose I wouldn't want them.
So... who the heck knows....
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 602
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From: Phoenix, AZ
You need to let this chick go and get on with your young life! Learn from this lesson and move on. It's time to live it up, bond with your family and friends, get out and see the world. Same goes for her! Niether of you truely knows what love is yet. Your *ego* is broken not your heart.
As far as making her call you when she gets home....that is control and it's showing your insecure. You may have the best intentions in the world, but thats not how she sees it.
Manual F150 maybe you should dumb it up a little bit!
As far as making her call you when she gets home....that is control and it's showing your insecure. You may have the best intentions in the world, but thats not how she sees it.
Manual F150 maybe you should dumb it up a little bit!
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Joined: Feb 2004
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From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
OK, would you care for a womans point of view now that y'all have gotten in a few bashes??
First off, I have to disagree with everyone who said that the age difference between 18 and 21 is too great and she's to young...I met my husband when I was 17 - he was 20. We got married when I was 18 - he was 21...we've been married for 28 years next month. I don't think the age difference or her young age has a damn thing to do with anything.
Now level of maturity is a whole different ball game. Just because someone is 18 or 21 or 65 for that matter, doesn't make them mature. Maturity is a state of mind, not an age and it sounds to me like she has a bit of growing up to do. I don't think she's crazy, I don't think she's mentally unstable, I just think she's scared. I think she made the marriage statement and then, after having some time to think about it, she realized what a huge commitment that really is. It probably scared her and she's decided she needs to step back and see what she really wants with her future. That doesn't mean it doesn't include you and if you're willing to wait she may return. I wouldn't necessarily become a hermit waiting for her to decide. Tell her that you really love her but you're fine with her decision to take a little break. Let her know that you'll be there for her but also let her know that you're not going to sit home and become a vegetable while she makes up her mind. Make sure she understands you will be dating other women because, after all, she is breaking up with you. If she comes back to you and you still want her, its all good. If she doesn't come back, you let her know how you felt about her and that you wanted her to come back, that's really all you can do.
First off, I have to disagree with everyone who said that the age difference between 18 and 21 is too great and she's to young...I met my husband when I was 17 - he was 20. We got married when I was 18 - he was 21...we've been married for 28 years next month. I don't think the age difference or her young age has a damn thing to do with anything.
Now level of maturity is a whole different ball game. Just because someone is 18 or 21 or 65 for that matter, doesn't make them mature. Maturity is a state of mind, not an age and it sounds to me like she has a bit of growing up to do. I don't think she's crazy, I don't think she's mentally unstable, I just think she's scared. I think she made the marriage statement and then, after having some time to think about it, she realized what a huge commitment that really is. It probably scared her and she's decided she needs to step back and see what she really wants with her future. That doesn't mean it doesn't include you and if you're willing to wait she may return. I wouldn't necessarily become a hermit waiting for her to decide. Tell her that you really love her but you're fine with her decision to take a little break. Let her know that you'll be there for her but also let her know that you're not going to sit home and become a vegetable while she makes up her mind. Make sure she understands you will be dating other women because, after all, she is breaking up with you. If she comes back to you and you still want her, its all good. If she doesn't come back, you let her know how you felt about her and that you wanted her to come back, that's really all you can do.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 270
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From: Vancouver
That kinda happened to me when i was your age. ( 25 years back). I am so glad now it did not work out. Looking back it, if we had gotten married, it was going to be a mistake.
take several years and have fun. have a couger or three. Get dragged around the block and learn life. Then you may see the right one.
take several years and have fun. have a couger or three. Get dragged around the block and learn life. Then you may see the right one.
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Joined: Sep 2006
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From: Metro Detroit
FWIW - 21 is too young to get married, 18 and married is just insane. No offense to WMR, but that was 30 years ago.
- The times, they are a changin'. If you look at the divorce rate in this country, it is better than 50%, probably closer to 60%. She just got her license and hasn't even started adult hood yet. You're 3 years into adult hood and can now legally drink.
If it were me and I was in your shoes, I'd cut her loose for the time being. Believe me, being 21 and single (especially in the summertime) only has its advantages. If she really loves you and you love her, you guys will get back together. But I can almost promise you that if you guys get married this young, divorce is inevitable. No one says you have to stop dating each other, but if she is comtemplating a break, give it too her. Tell her you gave it some thought and you think she's right, some time apart and seeing
other people might be good so you can both figure out what you really want. Get out there and find some 'drunken strange'
- The times, they are a changin'. If you look at the divorce rate in this country, it is better than 50%, probably closer to 60%. She just got her license and hasn't even started adult hood yet. You're 3 years into adult hood and can now legally drink.
If it were me and I was in your shoes, I'd cut her loose for the time being. Believe me, being 21 and single (especially in the summertime) only has its advantages. If she really loves you and you love her, you guys will get back together. But I can almost promise you that if you guys get married this young, divorce is inevitable. No one says you have to stop dating each other, but if she is comtemplating a break, give it too her. Tell her you gave it some thought and you think she's right, some time apart and seeing
other people might be good so you can both figure out what you really want. Get out there and find some 'drunken strange'
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Joined: Aug 2002
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From: Starkville Mississippi
Irhogfan had the best advice.
If she went from one extreme to another in 2 days, then she never wanted to settle down anyways, she was just testing the waters and when she found out that she "had you", she stepped away. Not an uncommon thing.
Let her go now before you all start fighting and end up hating each other. When she sees you out having a good time and maybe dating another girl, there's a chance she'll want you 10 times more than she wants you now.
If not, it's a big ocean out there with lots of fish, and you're only 21.
If she went from one extreme to another in 2 days, then she never wanted to settle down anyways, she was just testing the waters and when she found out that she "had you", she stepped away. Not an uncommon thing.
Let her go now before you all start fighting and end up hating each other. When she sees you out having a good time and maybe dating another girl, there's a chance she'll want you 10 times more than she wants you now.
If not, it's a big ocean out there with lots of fish, and you're only 21.
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 1,506
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From: Bakersfield, CA, USA
A 'woman advice' thread on F150 that actually has lots of excellent info and advice!
I know several couples that got married at 17 - 21 that are still together. And I know a lot more that broke up because one of them needed to 'grow up' and was missing out on what they wanted in life, and thought being single again was the way to start finding it.
Anyways, to the OP it sounds like she needs to grow up a lot, even if she is the 'one' for you. Give her space and try to let your heart (and ego) move on. It sucks and takes time, I know, but the more you dwell on it the more it hurts. Maybe you'll get back together down the road, but don't hold out for that possibility.
Hey Rose, any womanly advice for Manual since he decided to jack this thread instead of make his own?
I know several couples that got married at 17 - 21 that are still together. And I know a lot more that broke up because one of them needed to 'grow up' and was missing out on what they wanted in life, and thought being single again was the way to start finding it.
Anyways, to the OP it sounds like she needs to grow up a lot, even if she is the 'one' for you. Give her space and try to let your heart (and ego) move on. It sucks and takes time, I know, but the more you dwell on it the more it hurts. Maybe you'll get back together down the road, but don't hold out for that possibility.
Hey Rose, any womanly advice for Manual since he decided to jack this thread instead of make his own?
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,132
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From: Calgary, Alberta Canada
You both are too young to get married anyway. Enjoy being young and single. The right one and the right time will come. It took me 33 years to find the right one.
"Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one."
"Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one."
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 10,636
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From: Vernon, NY
I really want a girl friend...
I guess I need to man up a little bit more... but I just don't know what the heck to say that would really turn a woman's head to like me...
What do I do? Do I simply go up to her and ask her out? Like, "Hey /insert name/, would you want to hang out tonight?"
I just don't want to be creepy on her or anything... that's all...
Anything I should know about? I'm clueless when it comes to trying to get girlfriend...
I guess I need to man up a little bit more... but I just don't know what the heck to say that would really turn a woman's head to like me...
What do I do? Do I simply go up to her and ask her out? Like, "Hey /insert name/, would you want to hang out tonight?"
I just don't want to be creepy on her or anything... that's all...
Anything I should know about? I'm clueless when it comes to trying to get girlfriend...