The ATM
Thread Starter
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Certified Goat Breeder
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 6,182
Likes: 19
From: the moral high ground
The ATM
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Roll down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required to withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Roll up window up
7. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Back up enough to approximately align car window to machine.
3. Set parking brake.
4. Put the window down.
5. Find handbag, place contents on passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to access machine due to excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Reinsert card the right way up.
11. Dig through handbag contents to find scrap of paper with PIN written in lipstick.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Put contents back in handbag.
14. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
15. Enter amount of cash desired.
16. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
17. Retrieve cash.
18. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
19. Retrieve receipt.
20. Get out, reach under car and pick up receipt.
21. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
22. Recheck makeup again.
23. Put contents back in purse.
24. Close door, roll up window and fasten seat belt.
25. Adjust belt to prevent wrinkling dress.
26. Drive forward two feet.
27. Back up somewhere near the cash machine.
28. Unbuckle, open door, get out and retrieve card.
29. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
30. Give angry stare at irate male drivers queuing behind.
31. Restart stalled engine.
32. Go two feet, stop, buckle up, etc.
33. Drive off.
34. Drive two miles.
35. Release parking brake.
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Roll down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required to withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Roll up window up
7. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Back up enough to approximately align car window to machine.
3. Set parking brake.
4. Put the window down.
5. Find handbag, place contents on passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to access machine due to excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Reinsert card the right way up.
11. Dig through handbag contents to find scrap of paper with PIN written in lipstick.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Put contents back in handbag.
14. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
15. Enter amount of cash desired.
16. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
17. Retrieve cash.
18. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
19. Retrieve receipt.
20. Get out, reach under car and pick up receipt.
21. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
22. Recheck makeup again.
23. Put contents back in purse.
24. Close door, roll up window and fasten seat belt.
25. Adjust belt to prevent wrinkling dress.
26. Drive forward two feet.
27. Back up somewhere near the cash machine.
28. Unbuckle, open door, get out and retrieve card.
29. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
30. Give angry stare at irate male drivers queuing behind.
31. Restart stalled engine.
32. Go two feet, stop, buckle up, etc.
33. Drive off.
34. Drive two miles.
35. Release parking brake.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1,704
Likes: 0
From: Mpls, MN
Raoul,
I think your new job is distracting you
Maybe it's time that you come back to us full-time.
Sept. 2002.
I think your new job is distracting you
Maybe it's time that you come back to us full-time. Sept. 2002.
Last edited by AjRagno; Feb 3, 2003 at 11:10 AM.
Thread Starter
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Certified Goat Breeder
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 6,182
Likes: 19
From: the moral high ground
There were typos in that one so it didn't count.
The Subject matter was completely different. That one was "Drive Up Teller Machines" while mine was"The ATM".
biteme, hasn't posted in over a month so, I was sure he wouldn't call me on it (I forgot about you).
The sun was in my eyes.
I meant to post that in another language for our International friends but, omitted to hit the translate key.
I didn't post it! Someone stole my password and did it.
The Subject matter was completely different. That one was "Drive Up Teller Machines" while mine was"The ATM".
biteme, hasn't posted in over a month so, I was sure he wouldn't call me on it (I forgot about you).
The sun was in my eyes.
I meant to post that in another language for our International friends but, omitted to hit the translate key.
I didn't post it! Someone stole my password and did it.
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
From: Tampa,Florida
Sorry, but I am in an out of the ATM faster than most men! I have my **** together, I drive my Navi right up to the machine on the first try and I am outta there.
I am going to have start posting some male bashing jokes on here to keep it even
Thread Starter
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Certified Goat Breeder
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 6,182
Likes: 19
From: the moral high ground
Originally posted by NaviGirl
...I am going to have start posting some male bashing jokes on here to keep it even
...I am going to have start posting some male bashing jokes on here to keep it even
(As long as they're not at the bottom of your purse)
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Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 485
Likes: 0
From: Central Florida
Sounds like my wife's purse....
She insists on taking it everywhere, but always asks me where she left it.
She brought it, I wind up holding it.
It weighs 27 lbs, but doesn't seem to contain anything useful.
I'm not allowed to look in it (which is fine by me, I'm afraid something inside may bite me)
WHY????
It is stylish, and was ON SALE.
She insists on taking it everywhere, but always asks me where she left it.
She brought it, I wind up holding it.
It weighs 27 lbs, but doesn't seem to contain anything useful.
I'm not allowed to look in it (which is fine by me, I'm afraid something inside may bite me)
WHY????
It is stylish, and was ON SALE.
Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 56
Likes: 0
From: Cincinnati, Ohio
NaviGirl,
I'm hear for ya! I posted a thread a while back called "Why pickles are better then men."
Awww, they're a bunch of good 'ole boys ain't causin no harm... lol. They're fun to play with. They can take it when WE dish it out.
Jenn in MD (soon to be Jenn in OH)
Gotta love the banana.
I'm hear for ya! I posted a thread a while back called "Why pickles are better then men."
Awww, they're a bunch of good 'ole boys ain't causin no harm... lol. They're fun to play with. They can take it when WE dish it out.
Jenn in MD (soon to be Jenn in OH)
Gotta love the banana.
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
From: Tampa,Florida
Originally posted by JennIreland
NaviGirl,
Awww, they're a bunch of good 'ole boys ain't causin no harm... lol. They're fun to play with. They can take it when WE dish it out.
NaviGirl,
Awww, they're a bunch of good 'ole boys ain't causin no harm... lol. They're fun to play with. They can take it when WE dish it out.
I know they don't mean any harm....and I also enjoy it as well!! However, I will be dishing out some GOOD stuff, as soon as I can get my hands on it...LOL
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 568
Likes: 0
From: Tustin,Ca
[i]I will be dishing out some GOOD stuff, [/B]
Will that be homemade , take-out or from a can ? I hope you dish it out soon cause I'm hungry . Well maybe I just better go to Dennys .
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
From: Tampa,Florida
Men are like.....
Ok...here is something I found that always seems to bring a little smile to my face
Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the **** out of you.
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.....Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like.....Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
More to come......
Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the **** out of you.
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.....Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like.....Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
More to come......
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,632
Likes: 1
From: Stinkin Joisey
Hit me with your best shot.......
where you at?
O yeah, google'n for more
**You'll thinking of me when you wrote that one, huh?**
where you at?
O yeah, google'n for more
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
