MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Put window up
7. Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Set parking brake, Put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
5. Turn the radio down
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way up
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check make up in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Place receipt in back of checkbook
18. Re-check make-up again
19. Drive forwards 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release Parking Brake.

 

yes!!

 

That is hilarious...what makes it even more hilarious is that its true! With the exception of the parking brake and the dumping of the purse that is my fiancee' to a T. I would show this to her but I would like to "get some" within the next month.

 

Thats awesome

I am going to copy it and give out at work...

 

I had that problem the other day. This lady pulled up to the machine and about three feet from the teller. She tried to reach it but she didn't have Shaq arms. Then she had to open the door. But, hold it she forgot to take her card. Oh, it was still in the bottom of her purse. It took this lady probably ten minutes to get her money. I was ready to smack her. Finally, she pulled off. LOL
I can really relate.
Jon

 

lol

 

You forgot the part about being on the cell phone the entire time.

 

This must have been the same old bag I ran into at Sam's Club liquor store last Friday.

Scene: in checkout line behind middle-aged woman who has a suitcase of beer in a shopping cart; I have one item.

This woman pays for her brewskies with a check and I'm waitiing for her to get her *** outta there so I can hit the road (in a hurry). So, what does she do? Does she get her cart and her *** in gear so other customers (like ME) can get our business done??? NOooooooooooooooo!

She stays in the same spot in front of the register and slowly writes the amt of her check in the checkbook register. I cut her some slack cuz I figure she will just write in the amount and move on. Does she do that?????? NOOooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

She then begins to BALANCE her freakin' checkbook right in the same spot at the register, thus preventing ANYONE else from checking out. I make eye contact with the clerk (a guy), and roll my eyes. Finally, I pointedly say to her, "EXCUSE me!!!!" She turns and looks at me like, "What's YOUR problem, buddy?"

She finally figures it out and heads for the door. I tell the clerk that I'll bet she drives a Buick 4 door sedan, and she probably drives the same way she checks out...totally oblivious to the entire world around her.

My transaction takes 30 seconds and I'm outta there.

Sure enough, the old bag is out in the parking lot, parked illegally, loading her beer into a white Buick sedan.

I felt good because I resisted the urge to lean her over her fender and kick her right flat in the ***. I am not a good line stander.

If I ever get that out of it, someone please check me into an old folks home.

 

I HATE CHECKS @ stores! Really I do. After 7 years in retail I can say that employees and stores HATE CHECKS.

Other day I was at Wally World, lady in front of me pays by check. I then I realize that she had the check all written out except for the amount, so my first reaction is I give this lady major credit, she had enough sense to do the bulk of the check writing while waiting. What happens next, the cashier has no clue how to process a check. Well there goes that ladies good intentions up in smoke.

Sorry for the rant, but I have horror check stories and personally think that all stores should stop accepting checks. They're fine for sending in bills, other then that ...