1. First off, we don’t let just anybody ride in the damn thing…feel privileged.
2. 99% of the time, NO you can’t drive it.
3. IF you do drive the pickup, don’t leave the radio station on some hotomosexual bull****…please return it to the local country station as you found it.
4. Ladies, please don’t get freaked out by the spit cup in the cup holder…and goddamnit, DO NOT throw it out.
5. Please do not tell me to wash off the cowboy streaks down the drivers side of the pickup…you shouldn’t have thrown out my cup.
6. If it smells like burnt cedar, gas/diesel, Copenhagen, has stains and dust on the inside…its been used as it should be, don’t tell me you don’t like it, it’s a redneck’s truck, what the hell do you expect?
7. There’s a difference between a grill guard and a brush guard.
8. I don’t care who you are, don’t tell me how to drive my truck when you’re in the cab with me, I know how to handle it…the more you bitch the scarier ill drive.
9. Again, mostly for the girls, if I drive over a curb, median, through some mud, don’t look at me like I just shot your mother, I’m just havin some fun…****…
10. I swing the grill guard bout 3 inches from the bumper of the other car when im parkin…don’t scream every time I do it…I aint gonna hit it.
11. If you don’t like the truck, please keep the opinion to yourself…I don’t get in your face bout that piece of **** youre drivin.
12. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…BUY A DOMESTIC TRUCK…unless its an old T100 or tacoma, bout the only jap pickups worth a damn.
13. It’s a CB radio…stop askin me.
14. Yes you have the ability to talk to other CB owners with it.
15. Id rather you not pretend talk into it…just makes us both feel like dumbasses…
16. Girls, refrain from screaming when im about to tee-off on a deer in the middle of the highway, bar ditch, or median. That’s why the Ranchhand is on there…
17. Don’t try to clean my truck for me, it may look dirty to you but its organized in my eyes…I know where everything is, do I come into your room and rip all that flowery bull**** off your walls? Same concept.
18. Once more, to the girls, if youre sittin bitch don’t screw around and knock my truck into reverse…words don’t describe the homicide that will occur shortly thereafter…
19. If youre the only other person in the truck, and you arnt my girlfriend, don’t sit bitch…see the above reason.
20. If you tailgate me in a car, BACK OFF…unless you like the taste of rear bumper…
21. The girls out there that can drive my truck as good as me…are DAMN sexy.
22. When im in the parkin lot UNDER my truck fixin something try askin “You need some help” – that’s acceptable…don’t ask me if I need a jump…im not a dumbass.
23. Respect truck drivers…were bigger than you, we can end you.
24. I don’t care how many dints, scratches, or scars are on my truck, I catch you screwin with it…I will kill you dead boy.
25. Finally…the truck doesn’t make the man…the man makes the truck, not about what you got, its about how you use it.

 

Just about every one of these are true for me. I almost fell out of my chair about 4 and 5. Those just happened to me the other day!

 

Amen....

 

 

best. thread. ever.

 

Thanks guys. My brother sent this to me in an email and I had to share it with everyone. Unfortunately he falls into #12 and has a Tacoma.

 

it took me a second to realize what cowboy streaks were, but other then that good list.

 

I tend to swing the front end close to other vehicles and everyone throws a fit about it, but then again I can park flawlessly in one swoop when it takes them 2-3 times to pull forward, back up, pull forward again, back up some more, etc.

 

This one should be amended, I get it all the time from my girlfriend when were driving. Not every truck is like mine fords are still fords, chevys and toyota's still suck.. and just because its the same color or has a brush guard does not make for you to say when we drive by "Hey babe that ones like your truck." I try to explain to her its like her jeans, to us they look the same everyday cause there jeans, but to them every pair is different.

 

now thats a funny thread.... LOL

 

There are 26.

26. You got the truck with a full tank of fuel bring it back with a full tank of fuel.

 

I get #9 most often.

#27. "No... I will not help you move."

 

28. You are stuck where?!?! Better call a wrecker.

 

#29 the bedlight gives off a romantic glow

 

#30. No, you're Chevy Avalanche is not a real truck.