when he gets back, tell him what you saw



maybe you can save him some heart ache later on down the road

 

this is nothing new with the military. having been in the army a while ago, i can tell you that it was possible to tell which units were in the field or on deployment based on the wives in the nco club. i heard that the officers club was even worse for cheatin wives. alot of guys were fine with this. alot of guys had there own conquests when they were seprated because of duty. i guess they would not be able to come back and go crazy for what the wife did because of that. since i was single at the time i can't comment from the married point of view.

as for what to do, i would confront her. if he shows up and she has made it so blatant that everyone knows but him, i think there will be a huge problem. theres a big difference with getting a little on the side and her going around with this guy as the husbands fill in.

 

x2

She obviously isn't too worried about it or doesn't give a chit if she's coming by your place dropping stuff off with him in the car. I mean c'mon, she must realize that he would be seen.

 

Another vote for tell him what you saw when he returns. There should be a law that allows for at least one public caning for military spouses who cheat while the servicemember is away defending our nation.

 

The OP is not close to the serviceman, and there is no proof that the gal is doing anything other than getting in the car with a male friend of hers.

If you he were tight with the serviceman who is away, or if we knew for sure the gal was doing the nasty, that would be a different situation.

While I can appreceiate wanting to be told if you were in his shoes, what exactly are you going to tell the guy? What he is going to hear is this: "Hey, your wife acts like a **** when you are out of town" That's going to go over great when she claims she is hanging out with some gay guy that she's known since first grade.

If you get more facts, that's differefent, but until then, leave it be, IMO.

 

I agree with Dave. Sounds like you need more evidence plus your not close with this guy.

 

Take pictures of the 2 out or together. Pictures dont lie

 

That's what I was thinking. I have a son on active duty right now, and I've warned him off getting married. My wife and I met while both of us were on active duty, and pretty close to the end of our enlistments, even so we went through a couple deployments for the wife, and I would have liked to know if any funny business was going on. I don't know man, this is a tough one, and you could be treading on dangerous ground here. How does your wife feel about all this, since it's her friend? Maybe she could mention it to her friend that she's being pretty blatant, which will either **** her off (if she's screwing around) or she'll explain it (if it IS her gay friend.) Good luck either way.

 

Tough one. Personally, I would tell him when he gets back, but dave has a point too. Without getting nosy, maybe you could get more info?

 

Bull****. I'd tell him. Just tell him look, it could be nothing or it could be something but you have the right to know I've seen your girlfriend out with a guy repeatedly. Do as you want with the info. Then let it be.

 

It's not a girlfriend, it's a wife.

And he can't tell the guy now because he does not have any contact info for him. He barely knows the guy.

Hey, I agree the gal is acting suspiciously, but what you gonna do? Meet her husband at the airport and make sure you get this vital info to him before he talks to his wife face to face for the first time in months?

Oh, wait, can't intercept him 'cause you don't know him well enough to know when he is returning.

So Plan B is hunt him down after he returns and before he moves out of town. By then, he and his wife will have re-united for probably at least a few days and may have sorted out their relationship one way or the other. Knocking on the door and demanding to speak with him....Hmmm. Could be an invitation to eat a knuckle sandwich and a reminder to MYOB.

 

Wow. I didn't say do all of that. I didn't even say seek him out. Hell, if his wife (not girlfriend, sorry) and yours are friends chances are you're going to run in to him. Tell him then. It sounds like you thought about this a bit too much. It doesn't have to be complicated. When you see the guy, you mention what you saw and that it could be something or it could be nothing but you felt like he should know. End of story. Move on and continue with your life. Let him do what he wants with the info.

 

Thats right even tho its a wifey!! Thats some bull****!!! the dude should atleast know..

 

Know what, exactly? For all we know, she's giving her cousin a ride to work for a week while his car is in the shop.

I can see it now. OP tells the serviceman.


OP: You don't know me well, but I wanted you to know your wife has been driving around in your car with another dude while you were gone.


Serviceman: Umm, OK. Her cousin wrecked his car, so she was carting him around while his was on the shop. My honey sure is a sweetheart. She's always helping out those in need. I sure do love her!


OP: Umm, Yeah, I just kind of thought you should know.

Serviceman: Why? Did you think my wife was some kind of tramp, and you are trying to save me from her? WTF? Do you want me to thank you or something? Honestly, who all have you discussed this with?

OP: Well, for the last few weeks, my wife and I have talked to all of our family and friends about what to do. I even started a thread on the internet to get advice on how to best protect you, one of our country's fine serviceman.

Serviceman: Well, if you want to do what's best for me, stop implying to everyone in town and on the web you think my wife is a lying *****! We are a young couple and I'm in the military. Life's already hard enough without your 'help'. We will sink or swim on our own.

 

Haha. Quite the imagination. If the guy is wound that tight then who cares if he takes offense to it. As you said, he doesn't know him that well anyway. I'd rather try and help someone out and have them get mad at me than wonder if I just let him get screwed over and did nothing about it.

Maybe it would go something like this...




OP: You don't know me well, but I wanted you to know your wife has been driving around in your car with another dude while you were gone. (Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but the OP said they've been seen out together in addition to in the car.)


Serviceman: Umm, OK. Her cousin wrecked his car, so she was carting him around while his was on the shop. My honey sure is a sweetheart. She's always helping out those in need. I sure do love her!


OP: Alright. It just seemed a bit wierd from the outside looking in and I'd hate to see you get screwed like that. I'm glad it's not what I thought it was.

Serviceman: Yeah, well I appreciate the heads up but everything is fine.

--OR--




OP: You don't know me well, but I wanted you to know your wife has been driving around in your car with another dude while you were gone.


Serviceman: Really? You know something hasn't really seemed right as of lately and I've been wondering if something was going on or not but I didn't want to accuse her of anything incase I was wrong. This kind of confirms the way I've been feeling and I wil have to sit down with her and discuss what's going on. Thank you.


See, anyone can spin stories and they can come out in many different ways. What makes yours so right? I'd rather be wrong and have him be offended than right and him not know it while his wife screws around on him.