What's your stance on Child Support?

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Old Aug 22, 2005 | 11:13 AM
  #46  
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Bighersh Alter-Ego
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From: 33.02N / 96.66W
Cool...

It's good to hear that some folks do right with the money.
It's also great to see that some men are now winning custody.

I had two E-6 staff sergeants in my last unit (What are the odds?). THey were BOTH married to sorry-@ss women. It's rare to hear of one woman turning her back on her kids, but in our platoon of 40, there were two men- who both had wive's bail on them, and leave them with the kids... OF course, they got full custody. One gets child support- but she wasn't making any real money at the time- so it was all about principal in that matter. The one I was good friends with, his wife bailed ON CHRISTMAS DAY, leaving her 5 and 3 year old sons behind. She left to go see if a gas station was open and had batteries for the kids toys- and never came back...

I guess she called to say she was gone after some time passed- he never said how that went. But, 6 months later he got a call from Toyota's finance agency asking him for a payment on a 1996 Supra that he'd recently co-signed for. He said- "I don't have a Toyota Supra, and I don't know what you're talking about!!" They went on to tell him that he and his wife had purchased the car on ___ date, and that he had co-signed so she could get it. He said- that he wasn't the one that co-signed, and that they needed to call her because he hadn't co-signed for anything, and didn't know where she was...


They harrassed him for days, until the CO & 1SG, sent a note stating that he was at Fort Hood on the day in question, and that it was impossible that he coudl have signed that paperwork. That apparently his ex-wife had another guy pretend to be him, and sign his name... I don't know how that panned out, but what's funny is, my sorry-@ss Daddy, did the same thing to my mother after he bailed...

He was trying to get a 1969 Dodge Charger though...
He might have been a poor husband and father where my mother and I was concerned. But, he had taste in cars...
 
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Old Aug 22, 2005 | 02:19 PM
  #47  
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Originally Posted by 01 XLT Sport
Yes it is true that some men get bagged by a very loose women making the neighborhood happy…

Even though it is later found out the child is NOT the mans some men are still ordered to pay child support. Let’s face it gentlemen many of our comrades made this possible by being a bunch of low life un-responsible boys never meeting the manhood standards.

As far as the man having to use PROTECTION is complete BS. The woman is 50% responsible for laying down and opening her legs nice and wide to receive the goods. Any women stupid enough to think a man is fully responsible is not a women but a child without education and a properly functioning brain.

I am divorced and have full parental custody of my daughter. Her mother was ordered to pay child support. At first I really didn’t give a crap or not if I ever got a penny from her but since the court would not allow the case to proceed unless she paid the minimum of $50 a week she got stuck paying the state $50 a week.

When she actually works a normal job I get a check because the state takes it from her paycheck. She is a **** poor mother like many other divorced mothers are. You would be surprised how many divorced mothers are just **** poor now days. I had always thought most divorced fathers were the scumbags but women are quickly over passing them as the scumbags.

Some mothers are **** poor scumbags because they just plain neglect, never see, their kids. Most the others are **** poor scumbags because they USE their children for a PAYCHECK. Mine did that at first, told me if it wasn’t for the child support I could have the “kid”. When one of her live in “Johns” decided to touch my daughter and after he almost lost his life along with his trick (ex-wife) (yes I almost decided to shoot both of them with my shotgun but then logic and common sense kicked in so I left the gun at home and TOOK my daughter from their home and went straight to the police) I got full parental custody of my daughter. I have had her for the last 3 years. She is 16, very responsible (paying for her own car, a new 2005 Focus) and is about a B- avg. in HS. She will graduate at the end of this year and because of credits really only needs to take 3 classes but is taken 7 anyway.

I think the court needs to look at which parent makes the most money and that’s who gets the children, which most the time would be the man. At least the man, if he brings in the most money, should by law, have the first shot of getting custody or not. Sorry but this is not the 50’s and the mother is NOT always the best suited to care for a child and raise them to be responsible, not in today’s “My child is my meal ticket to a BIG check every week” world…
Very well said. Wish there were more fathers like you.

My father was taken from me @ 3 yrs of age in a plane crash, where he was the pilot. My mother got $900/month per child for compensation from the Navy or Gov, not sure which, basically the same anyway. She got $1800/month for myself and my sister, I turn 18 Sept. 17th and she loses that money. I get about 50k (it is now $112k because of stocks), but started as 50k from the gov. That is NOTHING compared to a father, but I am very grateful the gov. did what they can to help. My father would have been a great father, was very well spoken of, I only wish I could have known him. :o

Josiah
 

Last edited by Josiah; Feb 2, 2006 at 12:48 AM.
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Old Aug 24, 2005 | 10:15 AM
  #48  
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I have a 12-year-old son and have been paying 17% of my gross to his mom for his entire life. I have paid every dime of my “obligation” on time (direct deposit), in full and have adjusted the amount I pay every year based on my W-2. I guess that makes me a “good father” in the eyes of the court. I also have my son 3 days a week and one day on weekends. Oh yea, and we’re best friends. That’s my measure of how good of a dad I am.

So what do I think of the whole child support thing? It’s fundamentally flawed and the result of a political pendulum swing. It’s flawed because the percentage is way to high. When I look at what I pay every month, there’s no way that there’s a need for that much money. Guess where the rest of it goes? Not to my son. The ex lives in a (lakefront) house that cost 4 times what mine did – and she works 3 days a week as a nurse! It’s also flawed because it’s based on money I never see, but pay taxes on. The ex doesn’t have to claim it as income or pay taxes on it.

That leads to the other problem with this kind of thing. It becomes an entitlement. Free money pouring in the door does not lead to sensible spending habits. Heck, just look at the government! When we were in court the last time, I actually asked the judge if I had a right to know where any of the money was going. He – in no uncertain terms – told me that I had absolutely no right or need to know. Wow, that’s justice! I felt totally raped.

Speaking of court, here’s where it’s a pendulum swing. Up until about 15 years ago, there was way too much latitude in figuring out how much child support was “proper.” In many cases, this led to some pretty pathetic amounts getting awarded. OK, I’ll agree that the old system awarded too little. Does that mean that awarding too much now makes up for that? Does anybody think any sane politician is going to introduce legislation to reduce the amount of child support though? Not!

In my humble opinion, the current system can be described by saying “Those that can pay, do. Those that can’t, or choose not to, don’t.” What this leads to is cries by the liberals for even higher levels of child support. Don’t they understand? It’s not the folks that pay that are the problem. It’s the folks who don’t pay – because it’s too darn much – that cause all of the problems. Reducing the amount might actually allow some folks to start paying.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is my very last child support payment. I’ve already arranged for a dump truck to “deliver” the entire payment – in quarters – to the worthy recipient.
 
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Old Aug 25, 2005 | 08:34 AM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by 2stroked
I’ve already arranged for a dump truck to “deliver” the entire payment – in quarters – to the worthy recipient.
All this talk genuinely has me re-thinking when I want a kid.
 

Last edited by Josiah; Feb 2, 2006 at 12:50 AM.
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Old Aug 25, 2005 | 11:25 AM
  #50  
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I doubt you can get away with using the lower paying job, in OK, they ask for your income tax reports. And if its in the middle of the year, they will pull a Soc Sec# report.
 
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Old Aug 25, 2005 | 12:44 PM
  #51  
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Bighersh Alter-Ego
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Originally Posted by luvthemfordslady
they ask for your income tax reports, they will pull a Soc Sec# report.

Those B@$tards are thorough aren't they???
----------------------------------------

How my Daddy got away with not paying is, he'd never "acknowledge" who he was... So, everytime the sheriff attempted to serve him papers, he'd say "That's not me, Henry is my brother." And, they wouldn't serve him... (He has no brothers or sisters...)

I found him 5 years ago, he's a truck driver and he lives in Houston, TX. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters that are older than me (by him and other women) I have one brother that's a month younger than I am (cheating) and at least two siblings younger than that... I know none of them... Poppa was a rolling stone... I guess being an ex NFL player made it easy for him...

and tried to initiate contact. That idiot called my mother- trying to get back with her- after 31 years... He never called me.
 
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Old Aug 25, 2005 | 07:30 PM
  #52  
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Try this on for size. The system IS biased against men...hands down. True, there are alot of dead beat Dads out there. But, did it ever come to mind those men are considered dead beats because they lost their children? Then they couldnt pay?

Put the shoe on the other foot. Let's give custody to a man, order the woman to pay child support and see how much she forks up, if any at all. I would bet a few paychecks that the numbers come out the same for women as they do men. The truth is, it is rare for a woman to HAVE to pay child support because they rarely have to give up the kids. We all know, it is VERY HARD for a man to get custody. It is much easier to recieve than to give. It is estimated that upwards of 50% of child custody battles results in the woman winning, when the children in fact were better off if they went with Dad.

Well, how do I know you ask? Here is my story. I left my wife in Nov 2002 because of many irreconcilable differences, her parenting being one of them. At the time we were legally separated and I asked for the three boys. I was denied by the courts and ordered to pay 1100.00 a month child support until the divorce was final. Then it would be modified and most likely increased. Thats right...$1100.00 a month. I was bringing in 1300.00 every two weeks on my paychecks at the time. She also worked at her job bringing in 1200.00 a month. Keep in mind her vehicle was paid for by me as well as the mortgage. I addition to that, she qualified for everything under the sun being a "helpless" mother of three children (boy did everyone paint her the victim). WIC, Food stamps, reduced daycare...etc. I explained I could not pay the 1100.00 a month, it was too much. Well, the judge said, "Looks like you need to get a second job I suppose".

Well, after a year and a half of paying attorneys and gathering evidence against her for bad parenting, neglect, and misuse of child support funds I was AWARDED FULL CUSTODY of my three sons and awarded my divorce. Guess what? Due to her finanacial condition she WAS NOT ORDERED to pay ANYTHING. I was livid !!! Why? Not only that, I soon found out I made too much money to qualify for food stamps, reduced daycare or full WIC. I get partial WIC funds because I am a man. She was awarded WIC checks for herself too being a woman. I only got WIC for my two younger boys.

As of now, I recieve no child support, no daycare reduction and I still make it. Quite frankly, there is NO WAY IN HELL my kids use up 1100.00 a month. NO WAY !! I have had them for over a year on my own now and they couldnt even come close to 1100.00 a month strictly on the children. Child support recipients are OVERPAID !!!

BTW, my divorce decree modification request for her to pay only 300.00 a month (100.00 per head) was sent in late June of this year. The court quickly denied my request sighting she could not afford such an amount.

I am so glad I have *****. They have really done good for me.
 
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Old Aug 25, 2005 | 10:23 PM
  #53  
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Bighersh Alter-Ego
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Originally Posted by hellbound F-150
......

That's what I'm saying...

My boy just got a $1,200/month child support order leveed against him by a judicial pounding in the **** for child support.

This really needs to be looked at; coast-to-freaking-coast.

IF I lost my wife, son and 25% of my gross salary, with my current bills; I'd be under 635/LBJ with a will work (Part-Time) for Food sign... I'm all for child support, but not at a cost that cripples the father... Besides, it took two people to divorce; right? If dad just decides to up & leave one day, or has an affair- then that's different... Not 25% worth different, but I can see making him pay more then...
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 09:57 AM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by Faster150
only reason a women should get child support is if she cant work or has a disability... cause women can get jobs just like men can and can live on their own just like men can.. it takes two people to make a baby and does take two to raise a child but a man shouldnt have to pay child support to some women who he is divorced.
Wrong, it is his child as well so he should share the costs. The divorce is not the childs fault and the child should not suffer for it. I agree that you should not pay alimony but that is not child support.
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 10:07 AM
  #55  
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Bighersh Alter-Ego
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From: 33.02N / 96.66W
Originally Posted by Norm
Wrong, it is his child as well so he should share the costs. The divorce is not the childs fault and the child should not suffer for it. I agree that you should not pay alimony but that is not child support.

Yeah, I agreee- I think child support is OK, but not at the substantial rate that they charge (25 - 30% of gross in some states... I think that the mother's income should also be considered as well, with regard to what it takes to raise the child... I think some courts go too far..

Not only that, but I don't think it should be automatically assumed that the mother gets the child, simply because she's the mother...

While it's true that she carried the baby for 9-10 months, in all truthfulness, we carried the baby all our lives because life comes from us (men) and is transferred from us to the woman's body; who then nutures that life after the egg is fertilized- and delivers it... So, I'd say it's 51% men, 49% for women... When eggs start swimming, I'll reconsider my percentages...
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 10:23 AM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by cia-agent
When eggs start swimming, I'll reconsider my percentages...
OMG, I almost fell on the floor from laughing so hard!
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 01:39 PM
  #57  
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cia, answer this for me.

numbers just for reference

your wife has custody
you make 50k, get to work by 8:30 home by 6:00, some travel and some nights of taking out customers.

your wife has the oppertunity to have the same job as you, or take a job teaching making $25k a year, kids dont have to go to day care, they get to stay home in the summers becasue she if of also, same with spring break, christmas and thankgiving. what is that worth to you?

in todays time, yes a women can make the $$$, who rasies the child?, companies know who does most of the doctor visits, emergency calls, sick days, , school events

AS a business owner, you are crazy if you think that when i interview i dont finish up with, how many kids do you have, do you have family close, ages of kids and marital staus, if divorced how is he, guess what, 3 kids, 5, 10, 12, no family close, EX is a jerk = no job, because you can bet on 1 missed day a week and several phone call.
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 03:00 PM
  #58  
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Bighersh Alter-Ego
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From: 33.02N / 96.66W
Originally Posted by BROTHERDAVE
AS a business owner, you are crazy if you think that when i interview i dont finish up with, how many kids do you have, do you have family close, ages of kids and marital staus, if divorced how is he, guess what, 3 kids, 5, 10, 12, no family close, EX is a jerk = no job, because you can bet on 1 missed day a week and several phone call.
Well Dave, everything you have said is true (above). All I can tell you is- you'd better keep your business small, because if you grow and employ over a certain number of employees- you'll fall under Human Resources requirements. If a potential employee ever thinks she's been discriminated against/denied employment (By you even asking those type of questions) your **** will be in a sling...

It's OK to think it; but if the person is a good candidate for the job, but you disqualify them for any of the above reasons- you are in violation.. I'm not bagging on you, but you may want to get some HR classes under your belt before you get yourself in trouble...
---------------------------------------

As for what it's worth- I'd say the large majority of couples in America- now require two paychecks to make it now-a-day. My mother-in-law owns a family daycare and I have met many parents (couples) who both work. In some of these familes the wife is the primary bread winner, travels, etc... The truth is, most kids will be raised by their daycare provider from 6:30 AM - 6:30 PM; were that not the case- daycare would not be the lucrative business it is...

Personally, I wish like He!! I made enough money to take on all the bills, and pay our way so my wife could be home with the baby. I'd love that; but I don't. So, in my house- two heads hit the pillow at night, four feet hit teh floor in teh morning; until further notice...

It's best for a parent to raise a child; but- just because a couple splits up, doesn't mean dad should have to pay to keep Mom at home... If Mom is capable of working; then she needs to work; no matter how bad she may not want to. Heck, I don't want to work either- but, I've gotten used to having three cars, two houses, Air conditioning, heat, running water and a stack of bills. So, I have to go out and make it happen...

I expect no less of my wife- until the day comes that Wal-Mart hires me on as Regional VP/Home Electronics over North Texas, and pays me $150,000.00/year. On that day- I'll drive to my wife's job-, tell her to come on out of there, tell her boss to kiss both our @$$es for their silly governing policies, then let her go home and raise our son; I'll handle everything else.
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 09:57 PM
  #59  
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i am just having the ***** to say what the reality is of hiring people. i have 15 employees and belive me i have been well schooled on what is and is not appropriate. everyone loves to talk about their kids and family, believe me it does not take much to get the answers i am looking for. i alway work with my employees on family matters, bailed guy out of jail that worked for me 2 months, he is still with me 2 years latter. i currently have a girl working for me that i let leave every day at 2:45 so she can get the kids from school, she get paid by the hour so she gives up $150 a week or $600 a month so that she can pick them up. of her and her husband she is the one that stays home on sick days and does doctor visits so on any given month she gives up $700 a month to take care of her kids, her husband also works by the hour but he makes more so since she started working for me and he started be more reliable at his job he has gotten some nice raises and a company truck. see were i am going with this?

my sistuation is that my wife walked from a 85k a year job 3 years ago, no more day care, i get to work a little earlier and i can stay late if needed to git-r-done. may business sales are up 17% per year for the last 3 years and i bring home almost double what i did 3 years ago. i would be an absolute idiot to think i could have done it all on my own.

my sister went thru a nasty divorce, so i am biased, but basically i am for whatever is best for the kids
 
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Old Aug 26, 2005 | 10:15 PM
  #60  
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Originally Posted by hellbound F-150
Well, after a year and a half of paying attorneys and gathering evidence against her for bad parenting, neglect, and misuse of child support funds I was AWARDED FULL CUSTODY of my three sons and awarded my divorce.
I hope I am not being too personal, so feel free not to answer:
How much [roughly] did it cost in attorney/court fees, etc. at the end of the ruling? I am quite happy for you getting what I would call 'mild justice', which is so scarce these days. I hope if this ever happens to myself, I will know what kind of bad parenting/neglect examples I can put fourth so my next question is just that. What kind of bad parenting and neglect as well as misuse of child support funds did you bring up in court that helped swayed the ruling in your favor?

Thanks bud.
 
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