I say screw the children. And shoot the parents.

 

You are right, the courts are biased, the mother is automatically the custodial parent. For the father to get custody is a miracle sometimes. The biggest problem I have with the amount is that it isn't broken down. I'm sure it includes food, clothing, entertainment and future savings for college and all that. Just once, I'd like to see the breakdown. In most states, on top of 25-20% of your gross, out of your net, not tax deductible, you are responsible for half of all medical. Technically, you also get half the say in elective medical, but I think we know how that works in reality. I'm not going to avoid taking care of my daughter, so I've learned to accept it, it was a big pill to swallow when I was making 41k per year and had to pay $175 per week, but I just look forward to the huge raise I'll be getting when it is done.

 

I've never messed with signatures here. But if I were going to, this would make a great signature quote.

 

Damn, you always have good questions to stir the pot.....


I know in the past that Mom's were pretty much the custodial parent. I wonder about the situations when the mom's are the breadwinner as well. Scares the crap outta me

And alimony/palimony OMG I would be soooo pissed... it's just wrong

perhaps there are situations where it would be warranted, but it'd have to be a strong case to just fork over $$$$$

Just like the % that spouses get of military retirement if they've been married > 10 yrs...... damn I'm hosed.....

 

It's very hard to sit here and not respond to this. There are alot of "**** poor" parents out there, just not moms. I have worked every day since I turned sixteen. I pay my rent on time every month and do NOT receive any subsized housing, food stamps or welfare. My state makes it MANDATORY for all child support that is court ordered to now go thru the State Registry to make sure that the paying parent pays correctly and accurately as ordered. Father #1 doesn't come to see our son, particpate in any holidays and has in fact asked our son to refer to him by his first name when introducing him to extended family members and refers to our son as a "friend". So it's not just women that are "**** poor".

 

Amazing... I could not even imagine doing something like that. I don't know anyone that would do anything like that (Except for my father & now step father).

It's a bunch of sorry jokers out there, but I'm glad to see that real daddy's are making a come back.

 

Hey Cia,
I hear you man. The whole Child Support and Divorce thing scare the bejesus out of me. I'm 25, have a wonderful girlfriend, we both want kids--but since we're both a product of divorce, we tread very lightly around that whole issue. My father stopped with child support/visitation when my mom remarried. I haven't seen him in over 15 years and only recently touched basis with my three half-sisters. In fact one is IMing me right now. I still haven't talked to my father--and the *****ty thing is I'm sure it's all because of money that I never cared about. Like fordslady said the kids end up with the short end.

Oh yeah---alimony is BS. My mom never asked for any of it, we did fine without it. (And she worked two jobs to do it) But she didn't want a free ride. Just had two mouths to feed--so child support was all she asked for. The whole issue is exhausting...

 

As much as I hate the court bias, I have to say I've seen more "**** poor" fathers than mothers. I can't even imagine not seeing my daughter. When her mother and I split, the ONLY thing her mother asked for was custody, and I agreed. I purposely live in the same town and am "scheduled" to see my daughter twice during the week, rather than the standard every other weekend, I want to be an active part of her life. (I also see her a lot more than what is scheduled, in fact it is "undefined" in the support agreement). Father #1 would be better off just not being around, be a dad or don't, there's no half way.

 

I have pretty strong feelings about this subject.

When I was 19, I had a daughter with a girl that I married and tried to be with. She turned out to be a ***** and we divorced, she then disappeared with my daughter for almost three years. During that time I was court ordered to pay $82.60 per week child support. It was required to be garnished from your wages. The problem was back in 1993, I had a job making $5.85/hr. My boss was not allowed by law to take such a large percentage of my check, so he took out 60 bucks and I had to get off early on Fridays to go pay the remaining 22.60 at the court house. She tried to haul me in to court for increases every other month. She received free legal assistance from the State. Meanwhile, I could never afford to have my daughter located by a PI for visitation. The courts and cops would not help. They told me it was a civil matter and to hire a PI and go to court to force visitation. I was paying so much, at the time, for child support, I couldn't afford to live on my own, no less go through all of that.

My ex wife and daughter called me three years later. My ex said that she was happily remarried with another child and I had better let her new hubby adopt my daughter or she would disappear for good. And she meant it. So after a week or so of deep thought, I went through with the adoption. But I told myself It would not be for nothing. And it wasn't, I really took off and made a better life for myself.

And now for the happy ending. Five years after the adoption, in 2001, a familiar blonde and a little girl showed up outside one of my rental properties. It was my first wife and daughter who was now 8 years old. I had not seen her since she was 8 months old. My first wife was very apologetic for what she had done and wanted me to see my daughter. Apparently, her second hubby became addicted to pain killers and flipped out. I agreed on one condition. I put my finger right on the end of her nose and said to her "My daughter and I will never ever again be the victims of your Jerry Springer mind nor a liberal jackass in a black robe, if you ever ***** with me again, you will find out just how much time and money I have as I spend as much as I have to to undo the adoption and take her away from you"

I have been seeing my daughter regularly ever since. I get along fine with my first wife and I have paid for every stitch of clothing, activites, school stuff, doctor bills, etc. that my daughter needs. The thing is, I have the choice and the chance to contribute and be a parent, not just pay some bill to a woman so that they can put it down as income on a credit app.

The way things are now, a woman can have enough kids with the right guys to not have to work. I have heard of a few that have done that very thing. The way I see it. The expenses should be 50/50 and time nearly 50/50, if one parent doesn't do it, put them in jail. Dead beat parents should be prosecuted and held accountable. It's too easy the way it is now. or should I say stupid. If you don't pay your child support we'll take your drivers licsense. That's real smart. Make it so he can't work and become a burden to society. I say prosecute them for child abandonment.

And for the guys that pay 1200 per month, how in the hell does it cost a woman 1200 more a month over her normal expenses. Remember, most people have the same expenses, child or not, they are just a little higher for a child, slightly bigger house and car etc.

OK I am done

 

I think the whole percentage bull should go out the window... how on earth can it take 400 grand to raise a child, if you happen to make millions as someone stated before... why can't we figure some sort of average on what it takes to "raise" a child as far as how much money it takes... split that in half... then that's what the non-custodial parent pays... I for one don't want to be busting my tail and working my way up while my low-life of an ex sits and does nothing and rides my hard work to a good life... does it take 30 grand a year to raise a child? I don't think so... not a young one anyway... we need to figure out, based on location and age, how much it would take to support a child... not this percentage, the more you make the more you get type mentality...

Casey

 

I apologize if you thought my post was directed at you, as that was not the case. The protection part was where I referred to both man and women having equal responsibility.

However, there are many more “**** poor” mothers now days as compared to 10 – 20 years ago and are getting close to being equal to “**** poor” fathers. I have no illusions that the fathers have been the deadbeats in a bigger majority of “parents”.

Short story…

I moved to New Hampshire in 1993. I had never lived here and knew nobody, no family except the wife’s. In 1997 she left and moved in with her boyfriend, or at least the one who would accept her on a permanent basis. She started the divorce about 1 – 2 months later and the two of them tried everything they possibly could to force me to leave the state and go back home to California, where I was from, as well as friends and family.

This went on for a good 6 months. I had no previous record before, had never been arrested before. Only thing I had was a few traffic tickets. In their bid to force me to leave the state, which meant my daughter, they tried everything. I first got arrested by 10 police which arrived at my brothers (was visiting because of the divorce and problems) apartment using 5 police cars all with the lights on. Came to the door and told me I was under arrest for assault and banishing a weapon. They were told I was very upset and a great danger to the public and thus the reason for 10 police and 5 cars. They were really cool because once they seen I was not a threat they let me walk outside and put the cuffs on out of sight of my 6 year old nephew.

I had assaulted no one and didn’t even have a weapon (gun) at the time. Nonetheless they have to do their job because the wife and boyfriend told them the story. I have no bad feelings toward the police. Anyway this happened at least 5 more times. The boyfriend calls and tells me if I don’t leave the state he will have me (taken out). I then went and bought a gun and told him to pull his c*ck out of his mouth and come pay me a visit.

Got arrested for that as well, simple assault (the phone call), of course at this time the police were totally on my side because they knew what was going on. The last arrest was for stocking and it was a serious charge because I could have faced 2 years in jail.

Needless to say I am 8 – 0 in criminal court but got my *** handed to me in divorce court, divorce court you can lie all you want and the judge don’t care, if you can shed tears on demand you have divorce court won.

My last time in criminal court, for the stocking, the judge brought both the Ex, and her husband up to the bench and told them ”If you ever file a charge and/or bring this man to court one more time I will throw you both in jail for a minimum of 1 year and fine you each $5,000”

There was no stocking, I went to pick up my daughter like normal and then they called and told them I was stocking. When I had visitation I had my daughter every weekend (because that was their party time) and every Tue, Thur and Fri. So really the only days I didn't have here were Mon. and Wed, but many of those days I had her because mom was busy...

The next thing the judge said to me and it still makes me feel great, but can’t understand why it wouldn’t be considered the norm, he said to me:

”The love you have for your daughter is what ever parent should have. Most parents would have left this state long ago rather then going to court on a weekly basis for the past 4 months. I commend you and will help you in any way possible should this cowardly behavior continue from your Ex or her husband…”

Then he told me I was a great dad but I told him "No, not great, just a dad"

I guess God was looking out for my daughter and gave me some pay back at the same time when the other incident occurred. I got full parental custody within a week and it didn’t cost me a dime…

 

That's a great story. I wish my ex was the spawn of hell so I could get custody of my daughter, but she is actually pretty decent. You are right about the great part (not to belittle you) you are just doing what you should do, be a dad. It is great that you did and do that.

 

only reason a women should get child support is if she cant work or has a disability... cause women can get jobs just like men can and can live on their own just like men can.. it takes two people to make a baby and does take two to raise a child but a man shouldnt have to pay child support to some women who he is divorced. its his child to just because the court didnt allow the child to stay with dad doesnt mean father owes wife any money hell she wanted the kid she should accept the responsibility of paying for the child.... some women go around having kids with multiple fathers this women my mom went to school with she is white and has 4 kids all from different fathers
she gets 800 per child a month from these guys enough that she dont have to work and just lives off the child support checks... and i have never heard of a women paying a man child support cause i know of many divorves where the kids ended up with the father... if the system isnt suppose to be biased... why is it?

 

No, both parents should contribute to the child's health, mental and financial well being as much as possible. the idea behind it (and the reason Diddy pays so much) is that the child's standard of living should not change from what it would have been if their parents had stayed together. The child should be the number one priority in ALL cases. All non-custodial parents are required to pay support in all fifty states. If a custodial father is not getting support, it is his fault for not pursuing it.

 

I think the family courts and the "system" is a joke. They favor women no matter what and it is sexist bull. There are a lot of men out there who want to be fathers to thier children, but can't because of the crap that can be pulled in court. CHild support shouldn't be based on a percentage of income. I should be based on the actual needs of the child. With that said, I am a young father (22) who has custody of my 3 and 5 year old and I do NOT recieve support. If it was the other way around, I would definately have to pay my ex wife. I have always had a home for them and they are always taken care of. Any GOOD parent will do whatever it takes to give thier children what they need. Anything less is just an excuse, and lousy parenting.

Both parents are responsible for creating a child, not just father. That comment from that woman about men needing protection had to be the dumbest thing I have yet to hear. Maybe she should take her own advise, because she obviously was involved in the child-making process with all those fathers.