I am the custodial parent of my 10 yr old son. His happiness and well-being are the most important thing to me. My ex-wife pays child support. I got the house and kept my retirement accounts. I lost 40 pounds and go to the gym twice a week now. I am currently dating a hot-blooded latina woman 10 years younger than me. While divorce sucks...I gotta admit, life afterwards is pretty damn good so far.

 

That saying about how divorce costs so much because it is worth it is so true.

 

My sister-in-law and her husband got divorced.
They had one kid.
She got custody and he had to pay $700 per month.

After a couple of years the boy who was 16 became too much to handle.
Disrepectful, shoving his mother, etc...
She tried a school for problem kids, tuition was $75,000 per year.
He ran away several times, finally was withdrawn from the school.
She still had to cough up most of the $75 plus the damages he did.
He wanted to live with his father and she finally relented.

Back to court they go.
Now he has custody and she pays child support.
But not the $700 per month that he was paying.
She has to pay $2900 per month.

All based on how much you make.

Oh, the $2900 does not include the $280 per month she pays for his health ins.

Ouch.

 

Everyone has opinions on this, and I didn't start this thread for us to bash on each others opinions; I just wanted to see what the general public believes, because I didn't think that anyone in their right mind would believe that what's happened to my partner, at the direction of the court, was sensible.

I have a former employee that really got screwed to the wall, if I can believe what he told me. I know for a fact he was on a work-release program for about a month because I had to call DPD, and speak with the Sergeant to confirm his work hours- she advised me what the earliest time was that he could be released (In case he was late) and I told her what time he got off; so she'd know what time to expect him back at the facility.

Apparently, he had a 14 year old child, that he knew nothing about. He had since married, and had two kids of his own by his new wife. He got a letter in the mail saying he had a son, and that he owed the state/this woman/this their child untold thousands of dollars in back child support. I don't remember all the details, but quite naturally- he couldn't pay that kind of money, and he ended up in a work-release program through the Dallas Police Department. Needless to say that rocked the foundation of his current marriage, and they split up.

That could happen to anybody because I know I'd have a few jimmi-hatz break on me, unintentionally sending billions of tadpoles down range. Most I know didn't have a child afterwards; but the possibility exists. I'm sure it's not just me that was young & dumb... That same thing just happened to my wife's cousin last year- coming up to Christmas; they aren't together anymore after he found out he had a 13 year old daughter back in Arkansas that he allegedly knew nothing about.

I agree about splittign reasonable costs, but I disagree that one parent should profit from a divorce and live at a level that was to have been expected if the parents were together. One parent lives well, while the payee moves into a 1 BR, studio apartment in a jacked-up neighborhood, and has to sell their car (If they can absorb the financial loss) and downgrade.

I'm sure divorce and stuff like that would be far less prevalent were it not for the court-ordered jackpot that's awaiting the ones lucky enough to have married someone with a shred of decency and a conscious.

My cousin just got took to the cleaner's too; but- that's his fault. It probably wouldn't have been so bad on him, had he got off his **** and went to court like he was supposed to. He didn't, so the judge gave his ex everything she asked for... And guess who has the baby all day, and almost every night? Him...

But, she has custody- and he's paying her child support... In his case, he's paying her car/club/clothing allowance; he's the one providing for the baby...

 

I'm with you on this BIG-CIA...you never know what is gonna come back to bite you down the road...All I know is that if someone comes back to me 14 yrs later asking for money for a child I had no idea existed...I am gonna find a damn good lawyer...in my opinion, that is the womans negligence for not contacting the father that she bore his child...just cause I stick it in her does not mean that I gave permission to have a child...not that I am or am not in support of abortion, you can just go off having kids without telling the other "partner" about it and then expect the "partner" to be responsible for it when the woman was not responsible herself for not informing the father of her decision....this whole thread is making me mad....


EDIT:

I tried like hell to stay out of this thread...not only am I single but I have no spawn that I know of...but like CIA, I know there is definitely a "chance" that I could get "re-screwed" in the future by some b!tch...

I am all for taking dead-beat-dads out back and turning them into a smear on the pavement with a louieville slugger....but I also feel that these mindless-moms need to be held accountable for their actions as well...

DAMN I AM WORKED UP NOW!!!....thanks CIA

 

CIA, I have to agree that guy got screwed, you shouldn't have to be responsible for something you didn't know about. The mother had a responsibility to tell him when the baby was born. he should be able to sue her for not allowing him the opportunity to know his own child. As far as it breaking up his marriage, it doesn't sound like it was on solid ground if that's all it took.

Too avoid possible "jimmi-hat" problems, you should practice breast cancer prevention.

 

I'm always willing to contribute to helping ladies fend off breast cancer... After all, that's not really cheating- right?

But, I'd never completely give up my claim to the grand-prize. I've known some guys to say that as long as they got the "H", they didn't care if they ever had the "P" again...

I'm not one of those guys.....

 

cia, texas has a cap, 20% for 1, 25% for 2 and 30% for 3 or more, the cap is around 75k so basically a guy that makes 75 k and a buy that makes 100k pay the same.


i think we have seen a few hard luck stories but for the majority of people the system works good, a good resonable dad wants his kids to live good and to have what they need, he knows that because mom has the kids that either she dives into work and makes more money or she backs off a little so that the kids dont spend their life being raised by day care. he is also resonable to realize that work knows she has 2 kids to take care of so that when that promotion comes up that requires travel, she should not be considered. i want nothig but the best for my kids.

if you are one of those guys that b!tches to your kids about your ex wife and how much money she (and them) cost you, you are a POS, they will remember and no matter how good or bad, everyone loves their mom. they are kids, you and mom screwed up not them


if i found out i had a kid from 14 years ago and i owed big $$$, i would counter sue for dennied access to my child and for time lost , what is that worth?

 

easy question



do not have kidzzz


do not support them



cause you don't have 'em


simple

...zap!















besides ...think about it
do you really want kids at this stage with the world going to ..wherever its going??


...zap X2

 

Excellent piece of advice…

As much as my ex screwed me through divorce and all the criminal court BS I never said a bad word to my daughter or in my daughter’s presence about her mother.

Even when she was 9 she knew something was not right with mom and the boyfriend. All they did was talk bad about me in front of her. It was a ploy, in my opinion, to try and separate her from me. I think between having me charged with everything they could think of that if they could get her to hate me and not want to see me I would finally leave the state.

It never worked and to this day she and her mother don’t have a very good relationship, some to do with that, and other things. I use to tell her that her mother loves her and is just have a difficult time so to give her mother some time. I knew that not to be true, and not that I would ever want to lie to my daughter, but I just couldn’t see trying to be honest with her at the time and also hoping mom would wake up and realize she was burning a bridge that should never be burnt, that between a child and parent.

The hardest talk I ever had to have with my daughter, with her eyes filled with tears, is the day she told me (she was 9 at the time) that her mother told her I might not be her “real” father.

She told me “I know you’re my dad but mom won’t shut up about it”. So sitting there with a 9 year old with tears in her eyes I had to first tell her that without any doubt in my mind she was my daughter but if she ever had doubts I would do what ever was necessary to confirm to her what we both knew to be true. Luckily I never had to get into a talk about DNA testing.

I tell you I have never in my life hit a women but after that moment I wanted so bad to find her mother and beat the crap out of her like I have beat no one before. Even after that I never, nor have I ever, to this day said a bad word about her mother. Hopefully one day they will have something close to a normal relationship but if they don’t I don’t want to be the one that contributed to them not having the chance.

I have to say this thread, for me at least, has been very therapeutic for me. I have never really had an opportunity to talk about this situation with anyone. I had and still do have a lot of anger towards her mom. Not for the divorce or criminal court BS but how, in my opinion, her mother has abused her mentally. I got over all the other BS long, long ago but I don’t think I will ever get over, nor will I ever, forgive her mother for the way she has treated her daughter.

 

I've read in several places about the woman not telling the alleged father that she never told him, what about the men who purposely avoid the woman so she can't find him?! I have heard of that on several occassions.

And in my particular case, I waived the first 6 years of my sons life because MY attorney advised me to "makeup" bills that I "could" have had on my son. I chose not to go back to the date of birth because I lived with my mom, paid her rent and groceries and still didn't need his help, until she died. YES, he did know about his son since I got pregnant, but chose to stay out of his life. Then I went to courts and asked for support. He and I settled on a "safe" amount that we could both live with. The judge in fact told dad that if he had to go out and get a 2nd or even 3rd job that he would order the calculated amount par state guidelines. I flat out asked them, "How is he to be a dad when he will be busy busting his butt working?" I also told him I wasn't looking for a bank.

 

My biggest gripe is... I pay x amount for my 2 girls. Plus my EX get 40% of my military retirement...... AND I have no real input on their lifes. I can sugggest till I'm blue in the face but she will do and say what ever she wants. She also can spend the money on what ever she wants and I can not question it.

 

Yeah, that's focked up...

Another co-worker, was retired USMC, after moving from whereever they were, to Plano, TX he and his wife of 24 years decided they could no longer cohabitate, and filed for divorce... At least, she did.They were both retired military, and she knew she was gonna get 1/2 of his retirement... Well, when the dust settled, he got half of hers too... So, they both get equal amounts for retirement, on top of their jobs..

When he told us that, I was happy for him... The military gets too involved in your personal life... If you've been married over 10 years, guess what? You wife is "entitled" to a portion of your military retirement... Not "maybe you should give her some of it": ENTITLED...

Ain't that a b!tch?

 

I must inform all those who pay support, there are a few of us out there who actually collect. I have full custody of my daughter and her lame-*** mother pays me monthly. My daughter has never gone without...and never will...so Once I began receiving the money I went and purchased a 2005 Honda Rincon 650. My daughter loves driving the sukker....lol

 

Oh yeah, I forgot, I NEVER put my child support on my income when filling out anything I need to finance. Because my feeling is, as quickly as it came, it can go. If I can't afford it on my own, I don't buy it.