Common Valve....it was a joke brotha.

 

An American was riding on an international flight between two Arab men.

The American sat down, took his shoes off and began to read. He decided to get up to go to the bathroom. While he was gone one of the Arabs spit a big lugie in one of his shoes. The American came back, read his book awhile, then decides to go back to the bathroom. While he was gone the other Arab spit a big lugie in his other shoe. Meanwhile a stewardess brings them all Coca-Colas to drink before the plane lands.

Just as the three finish their Cokes the American puts his shoes on and feels the two big spitwads. Then he says....

"How long must all of this go on between our people?? This hatred...The animosity...The spitting in shoes....The pi$$ing in Cokes"

 

I'm sorry I just feel left out because I don't have a sister

 

Now, THAT was funny.

 

What has 8 breast and 6 teeth?





The mid night crew at Denny's

 

It's funny, cause it's true.

 

A man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it's for.

The bartender replies, "Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar."

The man asks, "What are the tasks?"

"First, you have to go over to Jimmy the bouncer and knock him out with one hit.

Then, well, there's a pitbull out back and you have to pull its blunt tooth out.

Finally, the bosses wife is up stairs and you have to go pleasure her, but you have to put down ten dollars to play." said the bartender.

"Damn." says the man.

Later that night, after several drinks, the man smacks down a ten dollar bill and says, "I'm in."

He walks over to the bouncer and swings. One hit he's out cold.

The man falls flat on his face also, but gets up and walks out back.

All you hear is the dog howling.

Then the man steps back in, goes over to the bartender and asks, "Now where's that lady with the blunt tooth."

 

I liked that one.

 

Why don't you wait until like 3-4 jokes have passed and you can comment on them all at once.



49....50....51....52.......53.......54......55.... .56......57......58.....59......60

 

I dont wanna?

 

 

Exactly



or

 

hi,

lets see if i can keep this clean.
from the archive . . .

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside.
After a short massage she asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"

fred

 

hi,

how bout another . . .

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the
door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep shat."

fred

 

A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rottweiler was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, but to no avail. A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rottweiler's butt, and the action immediately stopped. The lady was amazed. "How did you know to do that?" she asked. The little boy explained, "That's my dog. He can dish it out, but he can't take it!"