Doh!! Dumb Joke #
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,336
Likes: 1
From: Your moms house
Originally Posted by s2krn
What do Mexicans and cue ***** have in common??
The harder you hit them; the more ENGLISH you get out of them!!
The harder you hit them; the more ENGLISH you get out of them!!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko...
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
18. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
19. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
20. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Texas Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,336
Likes: 1
From: Your moms house
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 257
Likes: 0
From: Northern VA
Q:What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck?
A:Milk and Quackers
Q:How far can a dog run into the woods?
A:Halfway, then it's running out.
Q:Why don't worms come in pairs?
A:Because they prefer apples.
Q:Why did the pervert cross the road?
A:Because he was stuck to the chicken.
A man walks up to a lady and asks, "Have you ever heard of 60 second sex?"
"No," she replies.
He says, "Have you got a minute?"
A:Milk and Quackers
Q:How far can a dog run into the woods?
A:Halfway, then it's running out.
Q:Why don't worms come in pairs?
A:Because they prefer apples.
Q:Why did the pervert cross the road?
A:Because he was stuck to the chicken.
A man walks up to a lady and asks, "Have you ever heard of 60 second sex?"
"No," she replies.
He says, "Have you got a minute?"
Last edited by Nytehawk; Nov 16, 2007 at 02:46 PM.
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 257
Likes: 0
From: Northern VA
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "How do
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Suspended
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 161
Likes: 0
From: not of this earth
What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a steam roller?
Flatman and Ribbon
Where do Batman and Robin go potty....I tell this one to little kids....
In the batroom
Flatman and Ribbon
Where do Batman and Robin go potty....I tell this one to little kids....
In the batroom
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 133
Likes: 0
From: Leesburg,Ga
Q:What kind of teeth can you get for a dollar?
A:Buck teeth
A woman walks out of her house one day and notices her neighbor mowing the lawn while her husband sits in a chair on the lawn drinking beer and watching. She walks over and tells him, "You a**hole,you should be hung." To which he replies,"I am, why the hell do you think she's cutting the grass."
A:Buck teeth
A woman walks out of her house one day and notices her neighbor mowing the lawn while her husband sits in a chair on the lawn drinking beer and watching. She walks over and tells him, "You a**hole,you should be hung." To which he replies,"I am, why the hell do you think she's cutting the grass."