followed by the words "I'll give you something to cry about"

Right on, my childhood was the same way, if I acted up, it was an immediate biatch-slap, didn't matter where you were.... restaurant, supermarket, walking down the street, where ever, haha.

Sorry Tuff, didn't mean to redirect your thread, the post just brought back some memories.

Tuff, I'm gonna offer some advice buddy...
Go get a referral for a good therapist, counselor, shrink, whatever you want to call them.

I used to think only "crazy people" saw 'those kinds of people', but that was before I realized how important a good therapist can be for your good mental health.

I worked in a max pen for 15 years, and saw many things I wish I could erase from my memory, but rather than go insane or become a ticking time bomb, work sent me to see this dude, and let me tell you.... it changed my perspective.

Sometimes all you need is some to talk to, someone to say "hey, yeah, I see your point of view, and understand it"

Sometimes a good friend is just too close to talk to, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime, your buddies here will help fill the void, but go see someone, it might be just what you need.

 

If that doesnt work, then consider rolling bigger joints, LOL

 

No offense to anyone, but unless you're totally whacked...I'd stay as far away from that crap as possible. My wife (teachers) sees these kids in school all the time on this BS...so and so has ADD, so and so has ADHD...

If you ask me, so and so needs a swift kick in the a** and then maybe he'll pay attention in school! I mean really, it's like just about every other kid I know is on a pill of some sort. You can't seriously telll me ALL these kids really need this crap? It's ridiculous.

 

TUFF,
See if your Doc will prescribe you "Wellbutrin". It comes in 150mg tabs that you either take once daily, or at the beginning you take 1 twice daily. My wife takes these and they work great....with very very few side effects. She has never been clinically depressed, but chemically...and this brings her serotonin levels to norm and keeps them there. They were prescribing them under "Zyban" to help people quit smoking. No real side effects and it may help you to get the chem levels correct while you talk to someone who can help you sort out all the personal things you may want to change as well. Good Luck!

 

&

sorry, but I have to comment...

And I mean this reply in the most respectful way possible.

the responses yall have given are exactly how I used to feel...however, we're not talking about some 8 year old kid who's hooked on video games and twizzler's and doesn't get any excercise. I agree that a lot of kids on Ritalin today just need some outdoor activity.

You can't compare the two.

 

You should also be careful with those drugs.
Recent studies suggest that many people can become extremely suicidal when taken off of the drugs. I think you are supposed to be slowly weaned off of them.

What ever it takes to make you feel better, do it.

Quite honestly a couple of statements you posted have me a little worried.

You stated: "I have almost lost interest in life itself".
.....And "If I can take a pill everyday to keep the barrel of a gun out of my mouth, that's a small price to pay...in my humble opinion."

Whatever you do, PLEASE talk to someone professionally ASAP. Things are NEVER that bad.....

It takes a big person to acknowledge his problems, so I think you are headed in the right direction.....Just think of it as modding your ECU (brain) and spend a little time fixing yourself up instead of your truck

 

TUFF my brother,

I hear what you’re saying but I don’t have any advice except to tell you what I would tell anyone else…

Don’t worry about what anybody else thinks of you or about what you may do. Do what YOU think is the right thing to do. The main thing to do is what you think is right and screw the rest…

If you want to talk to someone be it a friend or someone professional then do it, nothing wrong with any decision you make. The only thing I would pass on as advice (remember, its just advice and you do what you think is right) is try the talking to someone first before any decisions on taking medication.

Anymore now days it is just to easy to get hooked on medications that perhaps some good old fashioned talking, getting pissed off and screaming, and kicking a kitty across the floor might help to resolve.

Oh, and here is something to think about. If your feeling a bit down look at the picture below and imagine being this kids Dad, DAMN now that’s something to be depressed about…



Ok, ok kicking the stupid kitty across the room might not be a good idea, but it’s a hell of a thought and thinking about it sometimes calms me…

 

Tuff,

Sounds like some changes are definately due in your life.

First, Burt is right, do what you want as far as talkin to some professional if it helps you start to deal with this.

Also, dont quit everything, and what ever you do DONT move to Detroit.

My wife when through kind of the same thing. The main cause was her work, and the fact that she was majorly misserable in her job.

I finely convinced her to quit and we would adjust finacially to her quitting.

She did quit, didnt work for a while then tried several jobs at her leisure till she started at the bank she is in now. She loves her job most days and is alot happier now, and this also makes me happier.

What you need to do is examine what you think in your life is causing you the most stress. Most likely you will have a list.
Write them down in some list of priority and start working on eliminating them from you life the best you can.

I have always put more priority on enjoying my job more then the dollar amount on the pay check. You might have to sell some things, change you style alittle, or maybe alot. But, doing a job you enjoy goes along way in making a difference in your life.

Start slow and work your way down that list, and go talk to someone besides us here 150 onliners.

Oh, and like I said, no matter what. DONT move to Detroit.

Sled...

 

TUFF, if I were you, and could afford it, I would go see at least a couple more doctors for different opinions. This is serious stuff you’re talking about here.

 

Try this!
http://www.i-wellbutrin.com/
tells you all about it
i used it last winter when the roads on the job were bad and my old 777 would slide around on me ........kept my nerves tore up but this stuff helps a lot........plus it helped me quit smoking....pretty good stuff id recommend it to anyone!!
JJ

 

Hey there Tuff ole' buddy.. I hear ya. I too, keep things to myself and dont like to bother others with my problems.A few months ago I was miserable and I mean BAD!! no one could stand me. Everytime I was asked if something was wrong I just said no, im fine. Along with a few other things going on in my life, my job was the main cause. I realized this and quit. Moved away to take another job, in a totally different field and thought it was gonna be great. 3 weeks later I didnt like the job I was doing, quit that and moved back home to Jersey. That little move I did helped me realize some things in my life and has helped me make some decisions for ME not for anyone else or to make anyone else happy. I figured I had enough extra money in the bank to survive a couple of months, so thats what I did. I realized I needed some time off. I wanted to "regroup" so to say. Some days I didnt get out of bed until noon or later. I went to visit some friends. I went fishing, and went fishing again, and again......I guess my point here is maybe you need some time off to "regroup" time to relax and really figure out what you want to do. Wether its pack up and move, or whatever. I think a little time will really help you. I am the LAST person you want medical advice from, but it doesnt hurt to see a doctor. Maybe change your doctor. I know you like her and you feel comfortable around her but sometimes a change is good. My mom went to the same doctor for years, she felt comfy with him. He had her on at least 15 to 20 diff. pills for blood pressure, arthritis, swelling of her ankles ...you name it. So many that they were all clashing . She finally went to a new doctor, a younger doctor who isnt affraid to take a different approach and isnt so old school. My mom now feels better than shes felt in 5 years and is only taking about 5 pills a day now. Its just a thought.
Its a hard place to be where you are right now. If you dont want to do the family business than tell them. If they hate you for it, well,, such is life. Tell them your heart isnt in it and you dont think you would do well with it and dont want to see it fail. Whatevers easier for you to say. If you have to..write them a letter and explain it to them and then talk about it. Youre right, it is so much easier to tell people how you feel in a letter. Changing jobs is tough. My dad worked almost 30 years for the same company and retired from them. I always felt, that was what your supposed to do. Well its not anymore. Making yourself happy is what your supposed to do. Hell, im 35 years old and still dont know what I want to be when I grow up.
Theres a lot of goods advice in this thread, but its been said nobody here can give you the medical advice you need. If you even need it.But it is a good idea to go see someone to find out if you really do need to see someone! One more quick thing then I'll go for now. Make sure you surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you. Make sure your friends are there for you thru thick and thin. In a time of need you really find out who your friends are. Ive been there, thought I had a bunch of good friends and when it came down to really needing them there for me, I realized I only had a handfull , if that, of GOOD friends.
Remember were all here for you otherwise nobody would have responded to your thread. If you need anything just ask. I know I would do anything in my power possible to help you out. I know it sounds weird since I dont "personally" know you, but thats just the type person I am. If you want to head this way and do some fishing, come on out, I'll set up a trip. If you need someone to talk to or just listen to you lash out email me. Trust me bro, the gun nor the alcohol is the answer. True friends, maybe some profesional help and some good old R&R will do the trick. Good luck buddy and keep me posted.

 

.

 

Thanks for the support everyone...on top of it all, I found out about a month and a half ago that my g/f of 3 years has another man on the line. No worries, I am a big boy and can take care of myself...plus, I have an industrial sized box of roofing nails in the garage

01 XLT Sport -

Man, you have GOT to get over this cat obsession!! Too funny. Oh, and the pic...I could have done without that...I don't need any more nightmares! Yikes! Looks like Sledd Jr!

sleddogg -

I wish I had someone to help bring home the dough, but the real Tuff just eats sleeps and *****s. I can't seem to convince a woman that I am worth keeping. If I had another source of income besides my job and the rentals, I'd have made a decision a loooong time ago.

jpdadeo & Jimmy Lee -

I have seen 4 doctors in the past year (although they are all in the same HMO) and have talked to 2 more family friends who are doctors...their advice is all over the board...I haven't spent enough time some of them to give them the whole story, and the family friends I am a little hesitant opening up to.

I smoked for 3 years in college, and picked it up again about 2 years ago. Kind of a closet smoker...not inside the house, not in public, etc. Just in my truck on drives and in the garage while I watch TV and have a few beers/drinks. Not something I am proud of, and definitely something I'd like to quit...again.

BREW -

Thanks for the advice, and I am happy for you that things are on the up and up. I have made a list...a long list. I always tell myself, "Today is the day, I am telling everyone how I feel" but it would kill my parents. I know...suck it up...easier said than done.

Peacemaker -

I too had a pretty serious head injury in 1997. Put a nice 4" fracture in my skull and busted both eardrums. Because of that, the doc's are hesitant to give me some meds. I have a really short fuse, but at the same time, nothing bothers me...weird huh? Thanks for the response.







I really didn't want to start such a 'serious' thread here. This is a place I come to for a release...I hope I haven't dampered your experience with this thread. I am a little overwhelmed with the support and responses I have received. Thanks. You'll never know what it means to me.

On a lighter note...

 

Like I said...we're here for ya! plain and simple

 

TUFF,

I have some experience with all of these drugs and how depression can destroy lives. As some here know, I just recently completed a long miserable divorce. I have made some jokes on here but I am still very much in love with my wife and what she was when I married her. It was the emotional troubles that followed that I actually divorced.

I had always noticed when I met her that she had little bouts of depression that would only last for a day or two, and she also had bouts of anxiety, nervousness or unexplained anger that would also last a day or two. Two years later I married her, she was then 24 years old. I wrote off her spells as just being immature or silly but they did get more frequent and more explosive over time. She also began to blame things on me, everything good or bad was at my expense, even when that clearly was not the case.

I took her on a two week vacation in July 2002, we had a great time and she did not have any problems on the vacation. I remember thinking to myself, I wish we were on vacation all of the time, this is great. She was totally peaceful. When we returned home, she sat in a chair a couple of days later and she was crying, she said all she could think about was going in and getting my gun and blowing her brains out, She asked me to take her somewhere for help. I did, and she was Baker Acted for 3-4 days for evaluation. I did not really buy any of this anti-depressant, clinical depression stuff. I thought, just think happy thoughts. She lost her job a few months later, the drugs were giving her every side effect they were capable of, insomnia, dizzyness, whatever. I never believed in depression, I thought it was like being hungry, when you are hungry you eat.

She went on over the next two years, and attempted suicide twice, she became unexpectedly pregnant and had a miscarriage which made it all worse than it was, she went to psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, I was trying to understand it all but just wasn't getting it. I guess it was because she continued to blame me for her not wanting to live. It made me run from it.

She would go from spending $5000 in one day, to wanting to die later that night, to losing another job because she would tell her boss to f-off, to losing long time friends, my life and hers became a circus for at least 18 months. I finally could not take it anymore and left her. It never sank in with me that she had a real medical problem that she could not control. That made her worse, she did some of the nastiest things to me that a human being is capable of doing to another. She went on rampages of spending, doing things she would have never done and just general craziness.

She was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder earlier this year. The pros had always suspected that but could not get the meds right and none of it made any sense to them. On July 26th of this year, she tried to kill herself again. She screamed for me at the mental hospital, I went to see her. She said she could not live without me and would not live without me. This was a month after our divorce was final. She had signed a release form for me to speak with the Drs. They sat me down and told me she had Bipolar Disorder with rapid cycling. They were gonna do everything they could to help her medically but they wanted me to help in the common sense department since I was so important to her.

They described the problem to me as some else did. Similar to a diabetic without insulin can't control what happens to their bodys just as bipolar people can't control their emotions. There is either way too much seratonin or not enough. It wasn't until I talked with them that I finally understood the medical side of this and stoped personally blaming her for everything. She literally could not control herself. They also told me that this usually appears in one's early twenties and gets worse as they get closer to 30. That is exactly what happened.

She is now doing pretty well, they finally have the meds working together. she is on a mood stabilizer, and anti depressant, an anti psychotic, and another new bipolar medication that just cam out. She also takes a pill that calms her down at night so she can sleep. Altogether, it's about 6 pills per day. But she is the closest now to what I met than what I've seen in at least 2.5 years. She still is not exactly right and may never be, she probably will never have a happy marriage or be able to have kids. This came straight from the Drs. mouths. I guess she is the most bipolar a person can be. The type you see on TV and movies.

the point to all of this is, TAKE THIS STUFF VERY SERIOUSLY, if you have a problem feeling normal periods of happiness and depression, anxiety, etc. Let them do their work. It takes time but it's worth it.

As for my wife, I still spend a lot of time with her. It's not the same, I still miss what I had and I am still in love with the person she was. She was my beautiful buddy, my inspiratoin, my pride and very much one of the reasons that I am a success at what I do. I have a lot of guilt for feeling the way I did in the beginning. I still have daily battles with all of this. She still gets to me, but I have to remember that she is ill. It is by far the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. She has no family here and I know her better than anyone, I am in a situation where I have to help her. It's the right thing to do.

And for all of you that say that these problems aren't for real. YOU'RE DEAD WRONG, they are for real. The most imaginative writers in the world could not imagine what I've gone through with this. And my poor wife, what she has gone through. She doesn't even remember half of the last two years. This chemical imbalance in her brain has nearly destroyed her life. She just lost yet another job.

Tuff, you have gotten a lot of good advice here. buy a new car, get a new job, new woman. and let that lady DR. give you something to help out. Don't be alarmed, bipolar disoder is a far cry from clinical depression, but don't let your depression linger the meds are to buy some time to make whatever adjustments you need to make to be happy.

Good luck
Jason