Anybody here taking anti-depressants or "know a person who is"
#46
08-30-2004, 08:56 AM
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The issue I have with mood-altering drugs in particular is that there seems to be WAY too many KIDS on them for one thing. I have a relative that has her kid on them at the moment...and he's 5 years old! The kids can hardly speak English...and you know why? Because they let the freakin' TV raise him. Maybe if they spent more than 5 minutes interacting with the kid every day, he wouldn't be a total spaz right now. How do you except a kid to learn how to talk listening to the gibberish on cartoons 24/7? My wife is a teacher and she sees them all day long. She meets the parents too...and after meeting the parents, you can many times figure out WHY the kids are out of whack. It's not that most of them need drugs, they need parents.
Adults can go in another category and should be taken on a case-by-case basis. All I can say is, my family is screwed up for the most part. I rarely see my mom (20 minutes away) because I don't really know her that well...my dad and his 2nd wife were very good to me after about age 12 or 13 (when they started going to church), but before that it was pretty rocky. Me and my brother are perfect example of how 2 people in the same situation can turn out differently. He's tried suicide a few times for attention I guess, always says he's got some medical problem for some reason and still lives with mom at 37...and I think he just lost his 134th job. There's no reason he can't be successful like me...maybe he doesn't have to be very well off, but having your own little place, a job and nothing having to mooch off others is successful to me. I used to let things get to me to the point where my fears controlled my life for the most part. Drove what decisions I'd make, etc. Finally I realized I control my life...not any circumstance or other person. I make decisions that lead to this or that happening or not happening (for the most part). So I think much of people's mental issues are firmly within their own control if they simply know how to recognize this...know they can change things themselves. May be some cases for drugs...I suppose so. But as long as I'm not totally insane (can't see any circumstance ever causing that)...I'll never take mood-altering drugs. Nothing beats living a simple life with nothing going to extremes. Maybe that 'all things in moderation' saying has some sense to it. I do believe people's actions many times create the desperate situations we end up in. Having seen it in my own family, I can understand how it could happen. My view of the drugs issue is, drugs as a VERY last resort...never as the first choice.
Adults can go in another category and should be taken on a case-by-case basis. All I can say is, my family is screwed up for the most part. I rarely see my mom (20 minutes away) because I don't really know her that well...my dad and his 2nd wife were very good to me after about age 12 or 13 (when they started going to church), but before that it was pretty rocky. Me and my brother are perfect example of how 2 people in the same situation can turn out differently. He's tried suicide a few times for attention I guess, always says he's got some medical problem for some reason and still lives with mom at 37...and I think he just lost his 134th job. There's no reason he can't be successful like me...maybe he doesn't have to be very well off, but having your own little place, a job and nothing having to mooch off others is successful to me. I used to let things get to me to the point where my fears controlled my life for the most part. Drove what decisions I'd make, etc. Finally I realized I control my life...not any circumstance or other person. I make decisions that lead to this or that happening or not happening (for the most part). So I think much of people's mental issues are firmly within their own control if they simply know how to recognize this...know they can change things themselves. May be some cases for drugs...I suppose so. But as long as I'm not totally insane (can't see any circumstance ever causing that)...I'll never take mood-altering drugs. Nothing beats living a simple life with nothing going to extremes. Maybe that 'all things in moderation' saying has some sense to it. I do believe people's actions many times create the desperate situations we end up in. Having seen it in my own family, I can understand how it could happen. My view of the drugs issue is, drugs as a VERY last resort...never as the first choice.
#47
08-30-2004, 09:45 AM
Originally posted by dzervit
J-150 - Hey, I said that BEFORE he spilled his guts. Yes, I felt like an *** after he posted the whole story. But I posted based on what HE SAID FIRST, without the details. Threads progress.
Oh, and I ALSO said unless something is seriously wrong I won't take 'em. Of course if its life threatening or something your body can't handle on its own I'd take meds. Duh.
Did you take your pills this morning? Sheesh!
J-150 - Hey, I said that BEFORE he spilled his guts. Yes, I felt like an *** after he posted the whole story. But I posted based on what HE SAID FIRST, without the details. Threads progress.
Oh, and I ALSO said unless something is seriously wrong I won't take 'em. Of course if its life threatening or something your body can't handle on its own I'd take meds. Duh.
Did you take your pills this morning? Sheesh!
It doesn't matter what you ALSO said.
TUFF opened with this being a clinical condition diagnosed by a physician. It wasn't about "jeez Im a little blue"
You jumped right in and replied to his revelation with callousness and disregard for his health. I'm sure it was tough enough to make that kind of admission publicly without having people tell you to "suck it up"
And by you asking if I took any pills further shows your disregard for a legitimate medical condition.
But I guess youre an MD. After all, your reply to me states that you, and only you, are educated enough to decide whom around here is in need of medical aid.
#48
08-30-2004, 09:54 AM
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Originally posted by J-150
It doesn't matter what you ALSO said.
TUFF opened with this being a clinical condition diagnosed by a physician. It wasn't about "jeez Im a little blue"
You jumped right in and replied to his revelation with callousness and disregard for his health. I'm sure it was tough enough to make that kind of admission publicly without having people tell you to "suck it up"
And by you asking if I took any pills further shows your disregard for a legitimate medical condition.
But I guess youre an MD. After all, your reply to me states that you, and only you, are educated enough to decide whom around here is in need of medical aid.
It doesn't matter what you ALSO said.
TUFF opened with this being a clinical condition diagnosed by a physician. It wasn't about "jeez Im a little blue"
You jumped right in and replied to his revelation with callousness and disregard for his health. I'm sure it was tough enough to make that kind of admission publicly without having people tell you to "suck it up"
And by you asking if I took any pills further shows your disregard for a legitimate medical condition.
But I guess youre an MD. After all, your reply to me states that you, and only you, are educated enough to decide whom around here is in need of medical aid.
#49
08-30-2004, 10:10 AM
Originally posted by dzervit
I don't want to hijack Tuffs thread.
I don't want to hijack Tuffs thread.
you did that in your first post.
I don't want to fight about this either.
I just think it's important that we do not discount anyones medical condition until all of the facts are on the table. Until we hear to the contrary that the Doc overstated the condition we should back up the member.
Peace?
#52
08-30-2004, 11:09 AM
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#53
08-30-2004, 02:33 PM
Life can be normal with Depression
Hello everyone,
I just want you to know that I have read everyone's replies and comments. One particular person "SEACROW" has really touched my heart not only is he a great man, great husband, and a great friend. Seacrow is my x husband and I want you all to know that I have put him through pure HELL with my mental illness and actions. I have done a lot of ****ty things to him and I am very sorry for them. For those of you that are living with a mental illness I know how you feel it is a life long agony of living but it can be TREATED. For those of you that are dealing with a loved one that has this be patient and try to get all the information you can to learn how to deal with it and them. See the following websites for more information.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/
http://www.nmha.org/
http://www.mentalhealth.org/
http://menanddepression.nimh.nih.gov/
I hope these sites help some of you. It is nice to hear that other people are dealing with problems that Seacrow and I have been dealing with for a few years. Seacrow thank you for the loving words you have written here infront of strangers and it's nice to know how you really feel and the things you have not been able to say to me.
Good luck everyone on these problems.
Bumper
I just want you to know that I have read everyone's replies and comments. One particular person "SEACROW" has really touched my heart not only is he a great man, great husband, and a great friend. Seacrow is my x husband and I want you all to know that I have put him through pure HELL with my mental illness and actions. I have done a lot of ****ty things to him and I am very sorry for them. For those of you that are living with a mental illness I know how you feel it is a life long agony of living but it can be TREATED. For those of you that are dealing with a loved one that has this be patient and try to get all the information you can to learn how to deal with it and them. See the following websites for more information.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/
http://www.nmha.org/
http://www.mentalhealth.org/
http://menanddepression.nimh.nih.gov/
I hope these sites help some of you. It is nice to hear that other people are dealing with problems that Seacrow and I have been dealing with for a few years. Seacrow thank you for the loving words you have written here infront of strangers and it's nice to know how you really feel and the things you have not been able to say to me.
Good luck everyone on these problems.
Bumper
#54
08-30-2004, 03:39 PM
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Wow I'm gonna cry...
Tuff first off you are the man for letting it all hang out here. You are not alone.
Why don't you want to be involved in the family business? I have a lot of friends that grew up in family's that own a business and they never want to be involved in them and they all tend to rebell and have problems. Just trying to get to the root here.
I don't believe we need so many drugs for kids (I have two kids 5 & 9 not on drugs) but I do believe in the prozac nation which I have been a part of twice and I am headed that way a third time right now. (Long story)
These drugs are NOT addictive and they really do work wonders for SOME people.
Tuff keep talking to us and don't do anything for at least a few months. If you still feel at a loss for someone to talk to and you can't get it all out here shoot me an email and I will put you in touch with someone.
Tuff, what's new today?
later-
Tuff first off you are the man for letting it all hang out here. You are not alone.
Why don't you want to be involved in the family business? I have a lot of friends that grew up in family's that own a business and they never want to be involved in them and they all tend to rebell and have problems. Just trying to get to the root here.
I don't believe we need so many drugs for kids (I have two kids 5 & 9 not on drugs) but I do believe in the prozac nation which I have been a part of twice and I am headed that way a third time right now. (Long story)
These drugs are NOT addictive and they really do work wonders for SOME people.
Tuff keep talking to us and don't do anything for at least a few months. If you still feel at a loss for someone to talk to and you can't get it all out here shoot me an email and I will put you in touch with someone.
Tuff, what's new today?
later-
#55
09-01-2004, 04:15 PM
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Sorry to dust off this emotionally draining thread but in trying to find out where the infamous "insensitive Neanderthal" quote came from I read through this whole thing. The reason I never threw my $0.02 in the first place was that I'm still a little sensitive about my experiences with anti depressants.
When I was in my mid to young adolescence I was a real pain in my family's a$$. I hated my dad and fought with him at every turn, I was mean as heck to my mother and frequently told her "you hate me" for no apparent reason. I was mean to my brother. I had few friends and no interests. I didn't want o get out of bed and slept all the time. Eventually I was forced to see a shrink, I drove two of them off before I found one that I would talk to. They got me onto Prozac and from what everyone around me told me I became a much more pleasant person to be around. I felt better and didn't sleep as much. I still talked to the therapist once a week and by the time I was in high school I was playing football, made friends and was feeling a lot better about myself. There were ups and downs and sometimes I had relapses and thought the Prozac wasn't working at all but ultimately I stayed on it. Sometime during it all I stopped taking the Prozac for good. I was never sure if it was the Prozac that helped, talking to the therapist or just me growing up but I know one thing for sure I wasn't going anywhere the way I was. Do what you have to do to get better, it may take some time and a couple of different approaches but keep trying.
I know it sounds crazy but you might want to look into acupuncture as well. I'm still not sold on the whole chi/ energy thing but it helped my back get better and I have heard of people seeing reputable acupuncturists for depression.
I hope you can work through this and get better. A little advice if I may, ditch the b!tch, tell the family you won't be taking over the business (write a letter if you have to, I communicate better that way too) and focus on yourself. Never drink when you are depressed and alone, if you are having a good time with others and you get drunk that is one thing, but drinking alone and depressed is a recipe for disaster. Good luck to you and if you ever want to discuss your experiences, need to talk or want to hear more of my weird story you can always e-mail me through this site. Hang in there.
When I was in my mid to young adolescence I was a real pain in my family's a$$. I hated my dad and fought with him at every turn, I was mean as heck to my mother and frequently told her "you hate me" for no apparent reason. I was mean to my brother. I had few friends and no interests. I didn't want o get out of bed and slept all the time. Eventually I was forced to see a shrink, I drove two of them off before I found one that I would talk to. They got me onto Prozac and from what everyone around me told me I became a much more pleasant person to be around. I felt better and didn't sleep as much. I still talked to the therapist once a week and by the time I was in high school I was playing football, made friends and was feeling a lot better about myself. There were ups and downs and sometimes I had relapses and thought the Prozac wasn't working at all but ultimately I stayed on it. Sometime during it all I stopped taking the Prozac for good. I was never sure if it was the Prozac that helped, talking to the therapist or just me growing up but I know one thing for sure I wasn't going anywhere the way I was. Do what you have to do to get better, it may take some time and a couple of different approaches but keep trying.
I know it sounds crazy but you might want to look into acupuncture as well. I'm still not sold on the whole chi/ energy thing but it helped my back get better and I have heard of people seeing reputable acupuncturists for depression.
I hope you can work through this and get better. A little advice if I may, ditch the b!tch, tell the family you won't be taking over the business (write a letter if you have to, I communicate better that way too) and focus on yourself. Never drink when you are depressed and alone, if you are having a good time with others and you get drunk that is one thing, but drinking alone and depressed is a recipe for disaster. Good luck to you and if you ever want to discuss your experiences, need to talk or want to hear more of my weird story you can always e-mail me through this site. Hang in there.
#56
09-01-2004, 04:58 PM
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A little follow up just to keep everyone on the same page...
I emailed a few people that responded here, and have heard back from almost everyone (if you didn't get an email, don't feel bad, a lot of you have your email notification disabled). Thanks for the kind words. I might not have gotten a reply from everyone because I haven't been at work for the last two days. My email address in my profile was linked up to my work address. I have changed it to my home one. So, if you haven't heard back from me, it's because I haven't had access to my work email.
I went to see the head doctor again on Tuesday. We talked for a looooong time. It really felt good to just unload on her all of the stuff that's in my head. I told her that I had started to make a list of stuff that was bothering me. Long story short, she had some ideas/recommendations on a treatment plan. One of them was REALLY off the wall, the others were a little more realistic.
I am following up with another doc on Tuesday to see what kind of plan fits me and what I need. It's a pretty big deal, and it's got me a little weirded out. It involves 2, 4 or 6 weeks of what she called 'outpatient therapy'. I think I would feel more comfortable with it if they had a better name for it...like day camp or something
From what she described to me, it's a group of 6 - 10 people and a couple of doctors. The 'class' is from 10:00 - 2:00 everyday during the week for the recommended time period. They give lectures and some other things. I told this doc that I just need to figure out some kind of a starting point with what to do first, etc. I have a lot of stuff that needs to be done that is affecting my life. I don't know which one to start with...talk to the parents, give up the job, move, give up the g/f, look for another job...and then there's the drinking/smoking issues. I've drank pretty hard for about the past 10 years...and 'pretty hard' by my standards is PRETTY DAMN HARD. It's not so bad, but like some of you have said (noticed?) I drink a lot by myself during the week.........
I think that's enough for today. If none of you read this, so be it, typing this stuff out really helps. Last night I started a Word Doc and the first time I looked up, I was on the 6th page...so...the lesson is??? DON'T GET ME STARTED!
Seriously, things will only get better from here, I think I've already struck rock bottom and now I am bouncing back...it's just going to take some time.
I try to keep it light hearted (some of you are probably saying, "Holy hell, THIS is light hearted???". I know, trust me, there's more.
Thanks again for the support. Once all of this is over, I'll have a big a$$ party and everyone can come point and laugh!
Thanks again.
:santa:
I emailed a few people that responded here, and have heard back from almost everyone (if you didn't get an email, don't feel bad, a lot of you have your email notification disabled). Thanks for the kind words. I might not have gotten a reply from everyone because I haven't been at work for the last two days. My email address in my profile was linked up to my work address. I have changed it to my home one. So, if you haven't heard back from me, it's because I haven't had access to my work email.
I went to see the head doctor again on Tuesday. We talked for a looooong time. It really felt good to just unload on her all of the stuff that's in my head. I told her that I had started to make a list of stuff that was bothering me. Long story short, she had some ideas/recommendations on a treatment plan. One of them was REALLY off the wall, the others were a little more realistic.
I am following up with another doc on Tuesday to see what kind of plan fits me and what I need. It's a pretty big deal, and it's got me a little weirded out. It involves 2, 4 or 6 weeks of what she called 'outpatient therapy'. I think I would feel more comfortable with it if they had a better name for it...like day camp or something
From what she described to me, it's a group of 6 - 10 people and a couple of doctors. The 'class' is from 10:00 - 2:00 everyday during the week for the recommended time period. They give lectures and some other things. I told this doc that I just need to figure out some kind of a starting point with what to do first, etc. I have a lot of stuff that needs to be done that is affecting my life. I don't know which one to start with...talk to the parents, give up the job, move, give up the g/f, look for another job...and then there's the drinking/smoking issues. I've drank pretty hard for about the past 10 years...and 'pretty hard' by my standards is PRETTY DAMN HARD. It's not so bad, but like some of you have said (noticed?) I drink a lot by myself during the week.........
I think that's enough for today. If none of you read this, so be it, typing this stuff out really helps. Last night I started a Word Doc and the first time I looked up, I was on the 6th page...so...the lesson is??? DON'T GET ME STARTED!
Seriously, things will only get better from here, I think I've already struck rock bottom and now I am bouncing back...it's just going to take some time.
I try to keep it light hearted (some of you are probably saying, "Holy hell, THIS is light hearted???". I know, trust me, there's more.
Thanks again for the support. Once all of this is over, I'll have a big a$$ party and everyone can come point and laugh!
Thanks again.
:santa:
#57
09-01-2004, 05:04 PM
Originally posted by TUFF FORD
[BI think that's enough for today. If none of you read this, so be it, typing this stuff out really helps. [/B]
[BI think that's enough for today. If none of you read this, so be it, typing this stuff out really helps. [/B]
It takes a big person to open himself up like this publicly.
This is an important first step. Most importantly, you want to do something about it. I think that more than anything will help you get to where you want to be.
There are more people here than you realize in your same situation... some have come forward many have avoided the conversation.
Remember, you're not alone.
Good Luck!
#58
09-01-2004, 05:05 PM
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#59
09-01-2004, 05:10 PM
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Ok I'm back...and remember I have a family member that has Bi-Polor...Its not always easy but I love the person and like seacrow I have learned alot about it... Once I understood the person could not help being sick and needed my help, I stopped taking it personal...Things have just got better and better because its my attutide that has changed ...Now because it has this person is changing in reaction to me for the better as well...
NOTE...Everything fatman66 has said is 100% true...He has it worked out better than most in fact...
On this thread I have read not just all the posts here but 90% of the others posts on the boards as I can't sleep at night well ... It helps me to grow , learn and yes to pass the time...
With that said I have read all dzervit's posts .... From them all you can get a sense of who and what a person he is...He is NOT an a$$hole...He is an A-ok young man and doing some growing here as well... He likes TuffFord in fact and is worried for him...He just was not sure what to say that could help his friend...So ease up on him cause he cares as much as we all do here for each other...
This thread started by TuffFord, was in fact the BEST one in months I have read here...As you all know we have many lurkers here that gained allot in help, advice and support from just reading what you all said here...You all gave some good advice that will help more than just TuffFord...If he looks at what he started he should feel proud of himself and what his needs here have given help to many others...
I feel honoured just to be in such good company here...
You all take care and have a good safe Labour Day weekend...
PS...TuffFord, here that group your going to join is called "Day Center "and its for 12 weeks... It was from 9Am till 12noon...I did that in May/June/July 1994 ...just before my Mom died Aug.5th...
I was divorced 3 years and drinking some trying to cope with the pain of losing my marrage and seeing my sick Mom dying and I couldn't save her...(OH The drinking near killed me)...
Trust me you will get so much from going you will not believe the good it will do you ... It will be good for you ...a great starting point...Do what I did, fight your fears an make time and go please...
NOTE...Everything fatman66 has said is 100% true...He has it worked out better than most in fact...
On this thread I have read not just all the posts here but 90% of the others posts on the boards as I can't sleep at night well ... It helps me to grow , learn and yes to pass the time...
With that said I have read all dzervit's posts .... From them all you can get a sense of who and what a person he is...He is NOT an a$$hole...He is an A-ok young man and doing some growing here as well... He likes TuffFord in fact and is worried for him...He just was not sure what to say that could help his friend...So ease up on him cause he cares as much as we all do here for each other...
This thread started by TuffFord, was in fact the BEST one in months I have read here...As you all know we have many lurkers here that gained allot in help, advice and support from just reading what you all said here...You all gave some good advice that will help more than just TuffFord...If he looks at what he started he should feel proud of himself and what his needs here have given help to many others...
I feel honoured just to be in such good company here...
You all take care and have a good safe Labour Day weekend...
PS...TuffFord, here that group your going to join is called "Day Center "and its for 12 weeks... It was from 9Am till 12noon...I did that in May/June/July 1994 ...just before my Mom died Aug.5th...
I was divorced 3 years and drinking some trying to cope with the pain of losing my marrage and seeing my sick Mom dying and I couldn't save her...(OH The drinking near killed me)...
Trust me you will get so much from going you will not believe the good it will do you ... It will be good for you ...a great starting point...Do what I did, fight your fears an make time and go please...
Last edited by ConcreteGuy; 09-01-2004 at 05:34 PM.
#60
09-01-2004, 05:13 PM
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Tuff,
It sounds like you are moving in a postive direction. There's a lot of people here who want you to do and be well.
I intended to write "Why wait?" regarding the party...by the time I hit "reply" I saw that dzervit already had. At first I was scared that I was starting to think like him, then realized it's just a good idea...let us know when you're ready to host a F150Online bash.
John
It sounds like you are moving in a postive direction. There's a lot of people here who want you to do and be well.
I intended to write "Why wait?" regarding the party...by the time I hit "reply" I saw that dzervit already had. At first I was scared that I was starting to think like him, then realized it's just a good idea...let us know when you're ready to host a F150Online bash.
John