High Velocity Robert strikes again!!!!
Thread Starter
|
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 4,402
Likes: 0
From: On the side of the Road attempting to explain 135 miles per hour
High Velocity Robert strikes again!!!!
'gang,
This is downright enjoyable. Having owned my L for two years and kept a low profile, it seems the average Hoosier is finally realizing what an L even is.
As some of you may recall, I had a wonderful escapade with a Porsche and hottie piloted Roush Mustang a week or so ago and still smile from ear to ear when recalling this thrill ride.
Well, it seems an unsuspecting and/or mentally challenged individual aiming his Ram R/T wanted to "give it a go" this afternoon on the same stretch of road. Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel. But first, a brief bit of background is in order.
One, I think Ram R/T's have their niche in the market and I find their toaster-like grill rather amusing. Two, I have exchanged niceities with these individuals in public only to receive the cold shoulder on more than one occasion at the track from said vehicle owners. Three, I had yet to really punt one of these jamokes. Therefore, an inevidable and thorough A$$ stomping was in order. Back to the "commute."
Mr. Standard Cab Shortbed (SCS) was in a pack of traffic waiting to turn left onto the beltway. He sees me and revs it a couple of times, as we were both under a bridge. OOOOOOOOOO. I hook him with a moderate Johnny Lightning-enhanced 3G blip. Suddenly, a slight tension befalls the surrounding vehicles, driver's hands clutching steering wheels in preparation for Fast and Furious evasive action.
As we begin our snails crawl behind a semi and a dump truck on the 2 to 1 merge entrance ramp, Mr. SCS is practically drooling in preparation for the soon to be summoned, electostatically supercharged, b!tch-slap.
I check for approaching traffic and scan for the presence of Fife, all clear, then let Mr. SCS scoot out into the left lane, pass slower traffic, then move over. All the while Big Red is inhaling his exaust fumes at a distance like a Lion ready to defend his pride.
As I pull along side, Mr. SCS is raring to go. I toss him another rev and signal him to count em down so as to offer him a slight "advantage."
Three..........Two........One...........GO! He's on it. I give him a full second before stabbing the throttle, injesting this morsel, and subsequently defacate him all over the southwest corner of 465 in one fell swoop. I just touched 100 and by then had utterly destroyed this chap. To be a good sport, I tapped the brakes three times, slowed down, pulled over, and waited......and waited.....and waited..... Mr. SCS dared not even pull along side so rather than risk driving 45 in 65-70 mile an hour traffic, I left him alone, resumed cruising speed, and laughed all the way home. Time to polish/wipe/clean the tips.
Having not been to the track since St. Louis, I'm beginning to think it's time to add the necessary documentation to my time slip collection...or something.
This is downright enjoyable. Having owned my L for two years and kept a low profile, it seems the average Hoosier is finally realizing what an L even is.
As some of you may recall, I had a wonderful escapade with a Porsche and hottie piloted Roush Mustang a week or so ago and still smile from ear to ear when recalling this thrill ride.
Well, it seems an unsuspecting and/or mentally challenged individual aiming his Ram R/T wanted to "give it a go" this afternoon on the same stretch of road. Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel. But first, a brief bit of background is in order.
One, I think Ram R/T's have their niche in the market and I find their toaster-like grill rather amusing. Two, I have exchanged niceities with these individuals in public only to receive the cold shoulder on more than one occasion at the track from said vehicle owners. Three, I had yet to really punt one of these jamokes. Therefore, an inevidable and thorough A$$ stomping was in order. Back to the "commute."
Mr. Standard Cab Shortbed (SCS) was in a pack of traffic waiting to turn left onto the beltway. He sees me and revs it a couple of times, as we were both under a bridge. OOOOOOOOOO. I hook him with a moderate Johnny Lightning-enhanced 3G blip. Suddenly, a slight tension befalls the surrounding vehicles, driver's hands clutching steering wheels in preparation for Fast and Furious evasive action.
As we begin our snails crawl behind a semi and a dump truck on the 2 to 1 merge entrance ramp, Mr. SCS is practically drooling in preparation for the soon to be summoned, electostatically supercharged, b!tch-slap.
I check for approaching traffic and scan for the presence of Fife, all clear, then let Mr. SCS scoot out into the left lane, pass slower traffic, then move over. All the while Big Red is inhaling his exaust fumes at a distance like a Lion ready to defend his pride.
As I pull along side, Mr. SCS is raring to go. I toss him another rev and signal him to count em down so as to offer him a slight "advantage."
Three..........Two........One...........GO! He's on it. I give him a full second before stabbing the throttle, injesting this morsel, and subsequently defacate him all over the southwest corner of 465 in one fell swoop. I just touched 100 and by then had utterly destroyed this chap. To be a good sport, I tapped the brakes three times, slowed down, pulled over, and waited......and waited.....and waited..... Mr. SCS dared not even pull along side so rather than risk driving 45 in 65-70 mile an hour traffic, I left him alone, resumed cruising speed, and laughed all the way home. Time to polish/wipe/clean the tips.
Having not been to the track since St. Louis, I'm beginning to think it's time to add the necessary documentation to my time slip collection...or something.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 282
Likes: 0
Speedin Bob, you have an awesome way with words. Great story, keep'um coming!
My own "Big Red", as you call it, is of the 2k variety and loves a tasty Dodge snack. Trouble is, here in Old NC, it seems the L has quite a rep, nobody from Vettes to Cobras and on down the food chain ever even so mush as gives me an evil look. They are all afraid of the beast!
My own "Big Red", as you call it, is of the 2k variety and loves a tasty Dodge snack. Trouble is, here in Old NC, it seems the L has quite a rep, nobody from Vettes to Cobras and on down the food chain ever even so mush as gives me an evil look. They are all afraid of the beast!
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 711
Likes: 0
From: Coal Valley,IL
Trending Topics
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,632
Likes: 1
From: Stinkin Joisey
Only one word for you Speedy, "That's a NICE f*%#n story". Now go directly to Circuit City/Kmart/Sams or whatever a get a camera so we all can enjoy those occasions when you unleash the beast. Best regards.....Bruce
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,713
Likes: 0
From: Orland Park, IL just south of chicago
BOB, I think you have been inhaling some of those fumes yourself you crazy hoosier! HAHAHAHAH, I guess its true what they say about hoosiers.
Good story bob, you should write movies. fast and the furious part 2, CAN YOU SEE IT!
Good story bob, you should write movies. fast and the furious part 2, CAN YOU SEE IT!
Thread Starter
|
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 4,402
Likes: 0
From: On the side of the Road attempting to explain 135 miles per hour
All,
thanks for the compliments! Now If I can just convince Mrs. Speedin Bob how much a digital video camera would enhance our lives...
I can see it now.....passenger "oh *****" handle-mounted, remote-controlled, annilator cam with a boom so I can assume the roll of Producer/Director, Lead Character, Stunt Coordinator, and Key Grip all at once.
trophy ideas......
thanks for the compliments! Now If I can just convince Mrs. Speedin Bob how much a digital video camera would enhance our lives...
I can see it now.....passenger "oh *****" handle-mounted, remote-controlled, annilator cam with a boom so I can assume the roll of Producer/Director, Lead Character, Stunt Coordinator, and Key Grip all at once.
trophy ideas......