From the "I'm an idiot" collection...
#1
05-27-2003, 10:09 AM
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From the "I'm an idiot" collection...
Noticed a cool feature on my truck yesterday. The interior lights and the courtesy light over the bed wouldn't turn off. Since I don't have my owner's manual yet, it was very difficult to troubleshoot, but I managed. After hunting for fuses, control boxes, etc. for an hour, my girlfriend came out and nudged the passenger door, shutting it all the way. The lights then went off. I worked at a car stereo shop for 6 years...man I feel dumb. Just thought I would share this with you.
Matt
Matt
#4
05-27-2003, 11:00 AM
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Hmmm. Stupid stories. Here's a good one.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a light. I was about 5 cars back from the front. An 80s model IROC Camaro revved me as he passed by in the left turn lane. WTF? When the light changed I found myself driving by them while they were waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to make their turn. I decided to cut the tires loose as I went by. I let traffic outpace me a little and floored it as I went by the open window of the Camaro. Whoa! The throttle stuck open! Now my tires are spinning like crazy. The longtubes and Silver Bullet are making an ungodly amount of noise. I have traffic on my right and the traffic in front of me is getting closer. I kept it in my lane fine; but, I'm sure I scared the living daylights out of everyone for about a 50 ft. radius. Including myself!
Well, I turned off the ignition and coasted into the center turn lane of the 4 lane street I was traveling on. I popped the hood and found the throttle body stuck all the way open. I flicked it with my finger and all was good. No more WOT for me until I figure out what is going on.
Later I was standing around with a couple of friends and decided to tell the story. Well, I popped the hood and pulled the throttle all the way back and it locked. Shock all around.
Upon closer inspection I realized what the problem was. When I installed my Volant intake, one of the hose clamp screws was in line with the throttle arm assembly and, as the throttle was opened all the way, the arm would rub the screw and perch on top of it. 
What a friggin' MORON!:o
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a light. I was about 5 cars back from the front. An 80s model IROC Camaro revved me as he passed by in the left turn lane. WTF? When the light changed I found myself driving by them while they were waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to make their turn. I decided to cut the tires loose as I went by. I let traffic outpace me a little and floored it as I went by the open window of the Camaro. Whoa! The throttle stuck open! Now my tires are spinning like crazy. The longtubes and Silver Bullet are making an ungodly amount of noise. I have traffic on my right and the traffic in front of me is getting closer. I kept it in my lane fine; but, I'm sure I scared the living daylights out of everyone for about a 50 ft. radius. Including myself!
Well, I turned off the ignition and coasted into the center turn lane of the 4 lane street I was traveling on. I popped the hood and found the throttle body stuck all the way open. I flicked it with my finger and all was good. No more WOT for me until I figure out what is going on.
Later I was standing around with a couple of friends and decided to tell the story. Well, I popped the hood and pulled the throttle all the way back and it locked. Shock all around.
Upon closer inspection I realized what the problem was. When I installed my Volant intake, one of the hose clamp screws was in line with the throttle arm assembly and, as the throttle was opened all the way, the arm would rub the screw and perch on top of it. What a friggin' MORON!:o
Last edited by Odin's Wrath; 05-27-2003 at 11:06 AM.
#6
05-27-2003, 12:00 PM
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Originally posted by Odin's Wrath
Hmmm. Stupid stories. Here's a good one.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a light. I was about 5 cars back from the front. An 80s model IROC Camaro revved me as he passed by in the left turn lane. WTF? When the light changed I found myself driving by them while they were waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to make their turn. I decided to cut the tires loose as I went by. I let traffic outpace me a little and floored it as I went by the open window of the Camaro. Whoa! The throttle stuck open! Now my tires are spinning like crazy. The longtubes and Silver Bullet are making an ungodly amount of noise. I have traffic on my right and the traffic in front of me is getting closer. I kept it in my lane fine; but, I'm sure I scared the living daylights out of everyone for about a 50 ft. radius. Including myself!
Well, I turned off the ignition and coasted into the center turn lane of the 4 lane street I was traveling on. I popped the hood and found the throttle body stuck all the way open. I flicked it with my finger and all was good. No more WOT for me until I figure out what is going on.
Later I was standing around with a couple of friends and decided to tell the story. Well, I popped the hood and pulled the throttle all the way back and it locked. Shock all around. Upon closer inspection I realized what the problem was. When I installed my Volant intake, one of the hose clamp screws was in line with the throttle arm assembly and, as the throttle was opened all the way, the arm would rub the screw and perch on top of it.
What a friggin' MORON!
Hmmm. Stupid stories. Here's a good one.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at a light. I was about 5 cars back from the front. An 80s model IROC Camaro revved me as he passed by in the left turn lane. WTF? When the light changed I found myself driving by them while they were waiting for a break in oncoming traffic to make their turn. I decided to cut the tires loose as I went by. I let traffic outpace me a little and floored it as I went by the open window of the Camaro. Whoa! The throttle stuck open! Now my tires are spinning like crazy. The longtubes and Silver Bullet are making an ungodly amount of noise. I have traffic on my right and the traffic in front of me is getting closer. I kept it in my lane fine; but, I'm sure I scared the living daylights out of everyone for about a 50 ft. radius. Including myself!
Well, I turned off the ignition and coasted into the center turn lane of the 4 lane street I was traveling on. I popped the hood and found the throttle body stuck all the way open. I flicked it with my finger and all was good. No more WOT for me until I figure out what is going on.
Later I was standing around with a couple of friends and decided to tell the story. Well, I popped the hood and pulled the throttle all the way back and it locked. Shock all around.
Upon closer inspection I realized what the problem was. When I installed my Volant intake, one of the hose clamp screws was in line with the throttle arm assembly and, as the throttle was opened all the way, the arm would rub the screw and perch on top of it. What a friggin' MORON!
Man, until the last part of your story I was wondering "what TB does he have? what TB does he have?"
#7
05-27-2003, 01:15 PM
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#8
05-27-2003, 01:18 PM
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#9
05-27-2003, 01:28 PM
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#10
05-27-2003, 01:29 PM
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here's one.. not realated to my Lightning but my last car, 96 pontiac firebird
i was driving home one night, and I noticed for some weird reason, every time I shifted gears, the interior dome light would come on for a second or so, then turn off
if I shifted very slowly and smoothly, sometimes it didnt do it. but the whole way home I was haunted by these freaking lights coming on every time I shifted.
I was so confused, as soon as I got home I posted on an fbody message board. Someone jokingly suggested I make sure the hatch was shut as this had happened to them. turns out he was right, the hatch wasnt shut every time the cars weight shifted around when chaning gears or accelerting, the hatch was opening a little bit causing the light to come on
OOPS
:o
i was driving home one night, and I noticed for some weird reason, every time I shifted gears, the interior dome light would come on for a second or so, then turn off
if I shifted very slowly and smoothly, sometimes it didnt do it. but the whole way home I was haunted by these freaking lights coming on every time I shifted.
I was so confused, as soon as I got home I posted on an fbody message board. Someone jokingly suggested I make sure the hatch was shut as this had happened to them. turns out he was right, the hatch wasnt shut every time the cars weight shifted around when chaning gears or accelerting, the hatch was opening a little bit causing the light to come on
OOPS
:o
#11
05-27-2003, 01:31 PM
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#12
05-27-2003, 01:51 PM
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I've told this before, but it bears repetition. I'm driving home from the lumber yard with three 4x8 sheets of CDX in the bed. Naturally they are too long to fit, so they are propped up at an angle resting on the tailgate. I just happen to find myself at a stop light right next to a buddy in his truck, so I decide to give him an exhibition of Lightning power. When the light turns green I nail it for maybe 60' and then shut down. I hear a little "clunk" when I do, but I look in the mirror and see nothing askance. I proceed on down the road and pretty soon this lady in a minivan comes roaring up alongside me and starts waving and pointing back down the road. It doesn't take me more than a minute to figure out what she is signalling about, and does my face turn red. I make a u-ey and go back to the intersection and sure enough, there are two sheets of CDX lying in the road. I load 'em up and take 'em home, and then go over to my buddy's house. He had seen the whole thing. He was still laughing so hard he had tears in his eys. He says that when I took off that plywood launched like a ballistic missle, about 15' in the air. I was very fortunate that it did not land on the lady in the minivan. No wonder she was perturbed. I decided that that was going to be my last exhibition of speed while carrying a bunch of cargo.
(Tim Skelton has an even better story, though, if we are lucky he will tell it).
(Tim Skelton has an even better story, though, if we are lucky he will tell it).
Last edited by alphadoggy; 05-27-2003 at 02:48 PM.
#13
05-27-2003, 02:29 PM
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Originally posted by alphadoggy
I've told this before, but. I'm driving home from the lumber yard with three 4x8 sheets of CDX in the bed. Naturally they are too long to fit, so they are propped up at an angle resting on the tailgate. I just happen to find myself at a stop light right next to a buddy in his truck, so I decide to give him an exhibition of Lightning power. When the light turns green I nail it for maybe 60' and then shut down. I hear a little "clunk" when I do, but I look in the mirror and see nothing askance. I proceed on down the road and pretty soon this lady in a minivan comes roaring up alongside me and starts waving and pointing back down the road. It doesn't take me more than a minute to figure out what she is signalling about, and does my face turn red. I make a u-ey and go back to the intersection and sure enough, there are two sheets of CDX lying in the road. I load 'em up and take 'em home, and then go over to my buddie's house. He had seen the whole thing. He was still laughing so hard he had tears in his eys. He says that when I took off that plywood launched like a ballistic missle, about 15' in the air. I was very fortunate that it did not land on the lady in the minivan. No wonder she was perturbed. I decided that that was going to be my last exhibition of speed while carrying a bunch of cargo.
(Tim Skelton has an even better story, though, if we are lucky he will tell it).
I've told this before, but. I'm driving home from the lumber yard with three 4x8 sheets of CDX in the bed. Naturally they are too long to fit, so they are propped up at an angle resting on the tailgate. I just happen to find myself at a stop light right next to a buddy in his truck, so I decide to give him an exhibition of Lightning power. When the light turns green I nail it for maybe 60' and then shut down. I hear a little "clunk" when I do, but I look in the mirror and see nothing askance. I proceed on down the road and pretty soon this lady in a minivan comes roaring up alongside me and starts waving and pointing back down the road. It doesn't take me more than a minute to figure out what she is signalling about, and does my face turn red. I make a u-ey and go back to the intersection and sure enough, there are two sheets of CDX lying in the road. I load 'em up and take 'em home, and then go over to my buddie's house. He had seen the whole thing. He was still laughing so hard he had tears in his eys. He says that when I took off that plywood launched like a ballistic missle, about 15' in the air. I was very fortunate that it did not land on the lady in the minivan. No wonder she was perturbed. I decided that that was going to be my last exhibition of speed while carrying a bunch of cargo.
(Tim Skelton has an even better story, though, if we are lucky he will tell it).
#14
05-27-2003, 03:11 PM
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I had posted this in 08/01 but thought you'll might like to see it again:
AIRBORN Lightning sighted in Georgia!
Here is the true story of my AIRBORN Lightning:
Well...got about 1000 miles on my silver 01 bolt and on fridays always stop by after work at this little rural grocery store to pick up milk.I love milk. The grocery store is in my home county and know most all the cops...super nice men and women. At times they have kidded me on all the hotrods I've had and I always politely respond that I drive these machines because God told me to (kidding). The exit from the little store has a traffic light before crossing 4 lanes, then a traffic island then 4 more lanes..its a straight run with a medium inclined ramp after crossing the last 4 lanes....so after getting my milk and lusting at the appearance of my Bolt...decided it was a right fine time to open her up. So I slowly stroll over to the bolt and lots of people are admiring her as I gently open the beasts door....I pull out the store exit and line straight at the traffic light...in back of me pulls a black modified 454 ss pickup and I guess he wanted some of my grits...he revs up his engine trying the intimidation factor (you DONT intimidate Lightning's)...the light is about to turn red....people at the grocery store are all outside watching the soon to be explosive show (Ford vrs Chevy)...the light turns arrest me green and I hammer the bolt....the blower wails as if as if possessed....Torque just multiplies and she is off just as if shot thru a celestial slingshot.....the Chevy guy's face goes blank and I'm gone...well what I had not figured out was that this inclined ramp after the 8 lanes would act as a airborn launching pad...well, hit the incline (have no idea of the speed) and the bolt was AIRBORN...at least 1.5 to 2 feet off the ground (all 4 wheels were kissing air)....at that EXACT moment a county deputy had rounded a corner in the opposite direction and was beside the Bolt (opposite lane, side by side) while she was airborn.....obviously he had never seen a Lightning fly...The expression on his face was pricless....he was dumbfounded and
had this shocked look on his face...then he recognized me and I him...
Then his look turned into a big smile and he shook his head in disbelief....After this romp and the bolt touched ground, I pulled off to the road side waiting to be taken for some good southern cooking at our county jail. The deputy never turned around to stop me to ask what in the world was I doing. The moral of this story is to prepare in life for all airborn events....thats it....hope you enjoyed this true story
AIRBORN Lightning sighted in Georgia!
Here is the true story of my AIRBORN Lightning:
Well...got about 1000 miles on my silver 01 bolt and on fridays always stop by after work at this little rural grocery store to pick up milk.I love milk. The grocery store is in my home county and know most all the cops...super nice men and women. At times they have kidded me on all the hotrods I've had and I always politely respond that I drive these machines because God told me to (kidding). The exit from the little store has a traffic light before crossing 4 lanes, then a traffic island then 4 more lanes..its a straight run with a medium inclined ramp after crossing the last 4 lanes....so after getting my milk and lusting at the appearance of my Bolt...decided it was a right fine time to open her up. So I slowly stroll over to the bolt and lots of people are admiring her as I gently open the beasts door....I pull out the store exit and line straight at the traffic light...in back of me pulls a black modified 454 ss pickup and I guess he wanted some of my grits...he revs up his engine trying the intimidation factor (you DONT intimidate Lightning's)...the light is about to turn red....people at the grocery store are all outside watching the soon to be explosive show (Ford vrs Chevy)...the light turns arrest me green and I hammer the bolt....the blower wails as if as if possessed....Torque just multiplies and she is off just as if shot thru a celestial slingshot.....the Chevy guy's face goes blank and I'm gone...well what I had not figured out was that this inclined ramp after the 8 lanes would act as a airborn launching pad...well, hit the incline (have no idea of the speed) and the bolt was AIRBORN...at least 1.5 to 2 feet off the ground (all 4 wheels were kissing air)....at that EXACT moment a county deputy had rounded a corner in the opposite direction and was beside the Bolt (opposite lane, side by side) while she was airborn.....obviously he had never seen a Lightning fly...The expression on his face was pricless....he was dumbfounded and
had this shocked look on his face...then he recognized me and I him...
Then his look turned into a big smile and he shook his head in disbelief....After this romp and the bolt touched ground, I pulled off to the road side waiting to be taken for some good southern cooking at our county jail. The deputy never turned around to stop me to ask what in the world was I doing. The moral of this story is to prepare in life for all airborn events....thats it....hope you enjoyed this true story
#15
05-27-2003, 03:57 PM
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i've probably got a few stupid stories, but here is one.
The local lightning club around here MILOC, had an event and we were having a blast there, but as the event was ending (on a saturday) there were the cars coming in for the saturday bracket racing and t&t. they were lined up coming in the entrance, and there was only about the width of the truck space (off road) to get out. and me and my friend could of swore we heard the announcer say that in order to get out there is a different exit by the staging lanes to goto. so i stroll over there and there is no exit and the 5 guys working are just looking at me, while a couple are cleaning up and a couple are just talking since the track is shut down for alittle bit, so i turn around, roll down the window and ask the guy, "so how do you get out of this place" (i've been to this track like 10 million times, i was only asking to see if there was a special way to exit for this particular day) and he looks at me like im the stupidist person he's ever seen, and he just points over to where all the cars are coming in, and says "over there". and i say "ok" so i looked like a complete idiot in front of all these guys when i knew where to go to exit....
The local lightning club around here MILOC, had an event and we were having a blast there, but as the event was ending (on a saturday) there were the cars coming in for the saturday bracket racing and t&t. they were lined up coming in the entrance, and there was only about the width of the truck space (off road) to get out. and me and my friend could of swore we heard the announcer say that in order to get out there is a different exit by the staging lanes to goto. so i stroll over there and there is no exit and the 5 guys working are just looking at me, while a couple are cleaning up and a couple are just talking since the track is shut down for alittle bit, so i turn around, roll down the window and ask the guy, "so how do you get out of this place" (i've been to this track like 10 million times, i was only asking to see if there was a special way to exit for this particular day) and he looks at me like im the stupidist person he's ever seen, and he just points over to where all the cars are coming in, and says "over there". and i say "ok" so i looked like a complete idiot in front of all these guys when i knew where to go to exit....