Absolutely, and count your blessings that you found out now.

 

I'm the same way for the same reason. It's not just a matter of "letting it go." That crap sticks with you, unfortunately, and negatively affects your other relationships because of trust issues . . .

But it sounds like you're on the higher ground here, in all aspects of this. She has much more to lose. But, her staying with you shouldn't be dictated by her financial situation, which it sounds like it is. That shouldn't even be getting brought up right now. Don't be a Hugh Hefner!

 

not going to say what i really think and make you mad.

you have 8 years invested in this. at age 30 , most of the women your age or close are goin gto be divorced and have a kid.

have you ever heard the term biological clock, i am thinking hers started going off about 2 years ago and the fact that after 8 years you havent popped the question, just might be on the edge of all of your arguments.

have the 2 off you ever talked about marriage, kids, financial goal, work goals, where you want to be in 5 10 or 15 years.

i meet my wife when i was 21, engaged at 24, married at 26, kids at 30.

 

I almost posted this the other day. Run man.

While the first part may be true and I think it might be part of the issue, people are waiting longer it seems to tie the knot and have kids. I see more people in their mid 30s starting to have kids than in the past. People are living longer and I think people want to "have fun" a bit longer. For me, I don't want to get married early anyways. I have so many things I want to accomplish I'd rather not get tied down yet. She sounds immature to me. I'd run and cut my losses.

I dated a pyscho. It lasted a year and I learned more than most would. I have no tolerance for flaky behavior and I'm glad I figured it out and grew a pair to cut it. She even stalked me on here. I thought I was going to have to get a restraining order. While I went through mind ****ing and stress that I have no experienced since, you have to find those that are worth your time. Not try to flea or flake at a fight or threaten the relationship. Give and take, care towards the other's feelings and respect.

 

I hear what all your saying and appreciate it. Yeah we have talked about marriage and kids, we both want it and she wants it more I think. She told me today that she thought that I would have asked to marry her by now after this long together. I wanted to see how long this would last that is why I waited so long. Its not that I didnt want to marry her but I had my guard up. She also said today that she looked at an apartment and what I thought about it. I said if thats what you decide thats the end, period.... she came back with "I dont know if Im going to take it becasue I dont want to make a mistake"??? What the hell does that mean? I poured it all on the table and told her how I felt and what I want in life and Im ready to move past this hurdle and give her what she wants and what I want. She is a very good person and it would be hard just to let go like that. She thinks we could make a friendship work if worst comes to worst hahahaha NO WAY does that work and it upset her. I shouldnt be posting this stuff here but you guys seem to have been threw the ringer a good bit and this is all very good advice. The shatty part is we work at the same place, have the same friends and hang out at the same places. I told her if this fails I am cutting her out of my life completley and she didnt like that. But thats how I feel....

 

I think you both need to go see a professional counselor for joint and separate sessions.

 

I just need to ask Dr. Phil on how to read these odd and strange creatures!

 

I don't know if that is possible. I've been married to one for almost 14 years and still don't understand her! I hope things work out for you. I do have to agree with you, a "friendship" after a relationship usually doesn't work.

 

Friendship? Hail no. That ish doesn't work, ever. Not until many years later, if even then.

 

That's why you shouldn't eat where you ****. Work relationships are so risky.

 

I was with her before she started here.

 

WEeeeeeellll its been 7mths since the last time I was on here and as you all seen the low time in my life lol. Long story short we split for a lil time, I moved out OF MY OWN HOUSE to give her "space". Phhhh what a joke that turned out to be... I finally got tired of paying the bills myself and not living there and told her to scoot! All in all I was in a downward spiral but am in a very good spot now. Got my house back and more importantly I got me a new to me CBR929rr! HAHAHAHA I win bitch! Not to mention I got mine in for the time I was single LOL had one HELL of a summer lemme tell ya! Moved on and got one younger than me in hopes I can train this one. Its like training a puppy hehe. Swat them with a newspaper and tell them no. Only problem is she is a South Jersey girl and has that attitude but its fun as hell. As for the other one. Boy oh boy she is regreting it allllll now. If yall only knew..

 

That was a great read, man Happy for ya