A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?

I don't think size is an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf doesn't think so. The other day, I bought this ring for her. Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

 

no..
I am buying my girlfriends from a extremely well known ring dealer in Cali.

he goes to the jewelry shows and does amazing work

 

the size of the ring shouldnt matter as long as its not embarrassing haha..
but really my grandmother got a small ring because thats all they could afford way back when but now he bought her a nice one 20 years ago or so.. but she still wears small one.

it should be the thought that counts screw everyone elses thoughts

 

I wouldn't marry a girl that is that materialistic. That doesn't bode well for the marriage. Then again, you guys that are out buying brand new $45k trucks, TT's, PWC's, etc. and are in debt up to your ears have an issue with materialism too.

 

I didn't go all out, wife is happy with her's. Plus, I heard it's a tradition to upgrade every 5yrs, so I'll upgrade the wife's ring in a few years.

 

I spent under two, what I was comfortable with. Bought it off the floor instead of picking each piece separately since that's his they get you to break the bank and we are both ecstatic with the result. Paid in full in two months, a buddy of mine is going to be paying his off for years to come, and we're better off because of that. Buy what you can afford! If the stone isn't big enough for your GF then tell her your suitcase isn't big to fit all her crap since she's moving soon. Just my thoughts, it's definitely the thought and the size or amount it costs.

 

IMHO (and what do I know I've been married three times) The ring is a symbol of your love not how much you're willing to spend to buy her (and her friends) approval of you. If she truly loves you then it shouldn't matter if it's a cigar wrapper. Take a moment and think about your life ahead.

That being said, the ring I gave my wife, the diamond is a classic round diamond just slightly under two carats with one and a half carats set pave on the band. Her sister said to me "That's the biggest diamond I've ever seen!" and I told her "It's just a rock but on her finger it's priceless."

All the De Beers marketing "A diamond is forever" nonsense it just a hype to sell product. Carat, color, clarity, cut and all the other gemologist bs is all about selling you the most expensive product they possibly can. There is a HUGE markup on jewelry. When you go looking DON'T take her with you.

If she's already giving you grief about "size matters" then be cautious. Test the waters. Tell her you found a band that just has a diamond chip on it but the band is very pretty and you like it. Tell her with the matching men's band they makes a beautiful pair. See what she has to say. Listen.

And remember the country song..."It's hard to kiss the lips at night that have been chewing on my a$$ all day."

 

The rule of thumb is spend approximately 2 months worth of your current salary, give or take depending on other financial considerations. This however seems to me to be quite high in some cases. And yes it is coming to be more and more common that you upgrade every 5 years or so.

Now the real issue at hand is your personal situation. I am not sure how she brought it up, but by the tone of your writing it seems to me that she isn't happy with it, and you are somewhat surprised by this.

I am shocked at how rude and inconsiderate she sounds. She obviously doesn't care about hurting your feelings, or your checkbook. She seems shallow and materialistic and believe me these things just don't get better because you are married. It will only get worse, the house you can afford won't be big enough, the car you can afford to buy her won't be the right brand, or god forbid, won't be brand new.

As far as the "testing the waters" and trying to semi-back out into buying her a new ring. Don't do it. Tell her you bought her the prettiest ring that you could afford. Tell her that you will upgrade when you are able. If she really loves you, she'll understand. If she doesn't understand or tries to change your mind, consider it an expensive lesson and walk away and don't look back. The pain you'll deal with now will be small compared to the misery later.

Good luck man, you are in a tough position. Your instincts are telling you something if you are already predicting bad things.

 

What he said x10 !!
Granted, Every woman wants a big beautiful diamond to show off to her friends and of course to make all those same friends jealous because her ring is bigger / better then theirs.
But the relationship had better be based on a hell of a lot more then the size of the engagement ring if it is ever going to survive the tests of time.
Congratulations on your future nuptials. Hope the ring situation works out favorably for both of you.

I am very fortunate when it comes to buying jewelry. I have a friend who buys & sells and he gives me incredible bargains. I just picked up my fiancés engagement and wedding rings and she even picked them out from his selection.
The engagement ring is a beautiful WG, 3 stone ring at 1.4 cts and the matching wedding band is a WG 7 stone ring at 1/2 cts. All diamonds are SI2, white and brilliant cut. The 2 rings appraised out at $3900.00 and I was able to buy them for $950.00. Both my faïence and my wallet are Very pleased. We are waiting for New England's fall color to get a little better and then we will have our SMALL ceremony at the lake.

 

^ Agreed

My bad...I missed the part where you've already shown it to her and she's not happy with it. Stop and think about what your future together will be like.

 

My wife's engagement ring is her wedding ring and the and vice versa.....

She only wanted the one ring......

 

You got to like that. The sign of a realistic woman.

 

Sorry for all of your poor bastards, my wife LOVES pearls. The engagement ring I bought I think has a 7 or 8 mm pearl with some small diamonds on the band. I bought her the two piece wedding ring, basically one ring on either side of the engagement ring. when all three rings were put together they are bling bling! tons of diamonds and she is happy as a clam. (pun intended). Only ran me $1200 for everything. I got me a good woman!

 

this saying right here is enough to put the brakes on the whole issue. if she is like this now imagine what it will be like in a few years. i will say this from experience, my EX WIFE was the same way.

 

I just don't want to talk about it.