Same here...
If you're NOT a "Middle Child" you'll never understand the "douchebaggery" you have to deal with from family....

Here's a quick story,My Younger Brother got picked up on a Warrant(something stupid) and I'm the first one he calls to bail him out.
I call our older Brother and his reply is,"Sorry Dude,can't help". I call his (younger brother) friends (5 people) and get the same answer.
I end up bailing him out(put my house up AND cash)by myself and all I get is grief for stuff I did when we were kids and never got paid back the cash I put up.

 

To put it blunt, I think if you understand, you could be apart of the problem.

I could be wrong, and If so I apologize. But most of us don't have Disney families. Last thing I'd want to do is house someone for more then a *visit. I like my space, and there are far to many people who don't get that.

*Visit - pre-planned event with planned arrival and departure times, where in visitors are only coming for a brief period to re-aquiant before returning to there own home.

 

I didn't come from a disney family at all. Far from it actually.

But if it came down to my brother having a roof over his head for a few days or me having my "space" for a few days. I think I would sacrifice the few days of space.

From what it sounds, it's not like his brother is a trouble maker, just got a string of bad luck. I would be more then happy to lend a hand to a FAMILY member in a situation like that.

If the tables were turned, and for some unseen reason you lost your house today and needed a roof over your head until you got things situated, how would you feel if your family turned you away b/c they would rather have their space?

 

If his brother is in need of a place for a few days that bad, and his own family won't take him in, then I would gladly put him up for that time.

 

You answered your own question. I don't like being treated like that and don't know anyone who does. By opening your house to him you would just be opening yourself and your wife to more criticism. It could have a negative influence on your marriage. I can't understand why he can't provide for himself. It sounds like he is young and healthy so it doesn't make sense that he hasn't saved up some money for a cheap motel or something. But if he's really down on his luck and doesn't have any money, most towns have a homeless shelter for that very reason. Let's face it, there will always be people who are not very good at looking after themselves.

I bet if he had been supportive of you and your wife from day 1 and had positive things to say and contribute (instead of constant criticism), both you and your wife would have welcomed him with open arms.

Considering the circumstances, I'm sure you did the right thing.

 

Hmmmm- glad you mentioned that... why didn't I think of that? This could be a good thing! Isn't that why the wise (or tight) guy always gets in a fight with his girlfriend a week or two before Christmas and then makes up on New Years?

 

Well, thing about that is my with my job im scheduled to work this christmas all through the weekend, so ill be working that friday saturday and sunday night. So I wont even see my family till the following weekend if that.

 

I hear you. Being the middle child, you always hear from family members what all you did wrong, and what all other members did good.

 

The original post stated 'a few weeks'. Roughly translated, 'a few weeks' means let me get my foot in the door and we'll see how long we can ride this until something breaks down.

The OP handled this pretty well. The only fault on his part and where he could improve in the future, is his wife getting upset about this. She should not been made aware that the dad wasn't returning calls or the ridiculous text sent by the brother. He should deal with his side of the family and take the heat. Likewise, she handles issues with her side, with husbands consult and she always has his back.
Any other formula puts a seven month marriage, or a 32 yr marriage, at risk.

Protect and Defend.

 

I've gone as far as to rent hotel rooms for family, jus t to keep them out of my house when they visit. I come from the Children of hell and the parents that invented it. They sures hell aren't starting **** at my house. I've shut the door on several of their backs.

 

zing!

 

I could never imagine not letting my brother stay with me, or anyone in my family for that matter. Even my cousins. But then again I am really close to everyone. And your wife should not be pulling you away from your family unless you already had problems with your family. Just my thought.

 

Atleast somone agrees with me. :santa:

 

I'm going out on a limb here and guess that neither of you are married.

I don't usually get involved in these social agenda threads (my girlfriend did this...blah...blah...blah) however, this guy got bad feedback from his dad. That would bother anyone and caused him to question his footing on the issue.

Of course there is no cookie cutter answer, always yes or always no.
Based on the facts as he laid them out he did the right thing and I thought he needed to hear that, since he asked.

 

We only have one side of the story here.
Because its family doesn't make it right. Family and friends are usually the first to "f" u anyway. Also it is your "castle" and just as you respect your parents wishes, they should respect yours and while you may be your brothers "keeper" you can't keep "giving a guy a fish".