Aviation Definitions
Aviation Definitions
Here's a nice play on words. For those of you who fly, you'll understand these. For those who dont, just ask and we'll fill ya in 
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Aviation Definitions
180-Degree Turn - A sometimes difficult maneuver to perform; the degree of difficulty is usually determined by the size of the pilot's ego.
A & P Rating - Enables you to fly grocery supplies.
Aero - That portion of the atmosphere that lies over Great Britain.
Aerodrome - British word for airport. Exactly what you'd expect from a country that gives its airplanes names like Gypsy Moth, Slingsby Dart, and Fairey Battle Bomber.
Aileron - A hinged control surface on the wing that scares the hell out of airline passengers when it moves.
Airfoils - Swords used for dueling in flight. Often used to settle disputes between crew members and passengers.
Airplane - The infernal machine invented by two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio and perfected on the sands of the Outer Banks of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Precursor of the Frisbee.
Airspeed -
1. The speed of an airplane through the air.
2. True airspeed plus 20% when talking with other pilots. Deduct 25% when listening to an Air Force Pilot. 3. Measured in furlongs-per-fortnight in student aircraft.
Air Traffic Control Center - A drafty, ill-kept, barn-like structure in which people congregate for dubious reasons.
Alternate Airport - The airport that no aircraft has sufficient fuel to proceed to if necessary.
Bail Out - Dipping the water out of the cabin after a heavy rainstorm.
Barrel Roll - Unloading the beer for a hangar party.
Caging the Gyro - Not too difficult with domestic species.
Carburetor Ice - Phrase used when reporting a forced landing caused by running out of fuel.
Cessna 310 - More than the sum of two Cessna 150's.
Chart -
1. Large piece of paper, useful for protecting ****pit surfaces from
food and beverage stains. 2. An aeronautical map that provides
interesting patterns for the manufacturers of children's curtains.
Chock -
1. Sudden and usually unpleasant surprise suffered by Mexican pilots.
2. Piece of wood the line boy slips in front of wheel while pilot is not looking.
****pit -
1. A confined space in which two chickens fight each other, especially when they can't find the airport in a rainstorm.
2. Area in which the pilot sits while attempting to figure out where he is.
Collision - Unplanned contact between one aircraft and another. As a rule, collisions that result in the creation of several smaller and less airworthy aircraft from the original two are thought to be the most serious.
De-icer - De person dat puts de ice on de wing.
Dive - Pilots' lounge or airport cafe
Engine Failure - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.
Exceptional Flying Ability - Has equal number of takeoffs and landings.
Fast - Describes the speed of any high-performance aircraft. Lower-performance and training aircraft are described as "half-fast."
Final Approach -
1. Many a seasoned pilot's last landing.
2. Many a student pilot's first landing.
Flashlight - Tubular metal container kept in flight bag for storing dead batteries.
Flight Instructor - Individual of dubious reputation, paid vast sums of money to impart knowledge of questionable value and cast serious doubt on the coordination, intelligence, and ancestry of student pilots.
Flight Plan - Scheme to get away from home to go flying.
Glider - Formerly "airplane," prior to running out of fuel.
Gross Weight -
1. A 350-pound pilot (also see "Split S").
2. Maximum permissible takeoff weight plus two suitcases, 10 cans of oil, four sleeping bags, four rifles, eight cases of beer, and the groceries.
Hangar - Home for anything that flies, mostly birds.
Heated Air Mass - Usually found near hangar, flight lounge, airport cafe, or attractive, non-flying members of the opposite sex.
Jet-assisted Takeoff - A rapid-takeoff procedure used by a general aviation pilot who suddenly finds himself taking off on a runway directly in front of a departing 747.
Junkers 52 - A collection of elderly airplanes that even the FAA can't make airworthy.
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Aviation Definitions
180-Degree Turn - A sometimes difficult maneuver to perform; the degree of difficulty is usually determined by the size of the pilot's ego.
A & P Rating - Enables you to fly grocery supplies.
Aero - That portion of the atmosphere that lies over Great Britain.
Aerodrome - British word for airport. Exactly what you'd expect from a country that gives its airplanes names like Gypsy Moth, Slingsby Dart, and Fairey Battle Bomber.
Aileron - A hinged control surface on the wing that scares the hell out of airline passengers when it moves.
Airfoils - Swords used for dueling in flight. Often used to settle disputes between crew members and passengers.
Airplane - The infernal machine invented by two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio and perfected on the sands of the Outer Banks of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Precursor of the Frisbee.
Airspeed -
1. The speed of an airplane through the air.
2. True airspeed plus 20% when talking with other pilots. Deduct 25% when listening to an Air Force Pilot. 3. Measured in furlongs-per-fortnight in student aircraft.
Air Traffic Control Center - A drafty, ill-kept, barn-like structure in which people congregate for dubious reasons.
Alternate Airport - The airport that no aircraft has sufficient fuel to proceed to if necessary.
Bail Out - Dipping the water out of the cabin after a heavy rainstorm.
Barrel Roll - Unloading the beer for a hangar party.
Caging the Gyro - Not too difficult with domestic species.
Carburetor Ice - Phrase used when reporting a forced landing caused by running out of fuel.
Cessna 310 - More than the sum of two Cessna 150's.
Chart -
1. Large piece of paper, useful for protecting ****pit surfaces from
food and beverage stains. 2. An aeronautical map that provides
interesting patterns for the manufacturers of children's curtains.
Chock -
1. Sudden and usually unpleasant surprise suffered by Mexican pilots.
2. Piece of wood the line boy slips in front of wheel while pilot is not looking.
****pit -
1. A confined space in which two chickens fight each other, especially when they can't find the airport in a rainstorm.
2. Area in which the pilot sits while attempting to figure out where he is.
Collision - Unplanned contact between one aircraft and another. As a rule, collisions that result in the creation of several smaller and less airworthy aircraft from the original two are thought to be the most serious.
De-icer - De person dat puts de ice on de wing.
Dive - Pilots' lounge or airport cafe
Engine Failure - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.
Exceptional Flying Ability - Has equal number of takeoffs and landings.
Fast - Describes the speed of any high-performance aircraft. Lower-performance and training aircraft are described as "half-fast."
Final Approach -
1. Many a seasoned pilot's last landing.
2. Many a student pilot's first landing.
Flashlight - Tubular metal container kept in flight bag for storing dead batteries.
Flight Instructor - Individual of dubious reputation, paid vast sums of money to impart knowledge of questionable value and cast serious doubt on the coordination, intelligence, and ancestry of student pilots.
Flight Plan - Scheme to get away from home to go flying.
Glider - Formerly "airplane," prior to running out of fuel.
Gross Weight -
1. A 350-pound pilot (also see "Split S").
2. Maximum permissible takeoff weight plus two suitcases, 10 cans of oil, four sleeping bags, four rifles, eight cases of beer, and the groceries.
Hangar - Home for anything that flies, mostly birds.
Heated Air Mass - Usually found near hangar, flight lounge, airport cafe, or attractive, non-flying members of the opposite sex.
Jet-assisted Takeoff - A rapid-takeoff procedure used by a general aviation pilot who suddenly finds himself taking off on a runway directly in front of a departing 747.
Junkers 52 - A collection of elderly airplanes that even the FAA can't make airworthy.
Lazy 8 -
1. Well-known fly-in resort ranch.
2. The airport operator, his four mechanics, and three lineboys.
Log - A small rectangular notebook used by pilots to record lies.
Motor - A word used by Englishmen and student pilots when referring to an aircraft engine. (also see "Aerodrome")
Navigation - The process by which a pilot finds his way from point A to point B while actually trying to get to point C.
Occupied - An airline term for lavatory.
Oshkosh - A town in Wisconsin that is the site of the annual Experimental Aircraft Association fly-in. It is believed to have been named after the sound that most experimental aircraft engines make.
Pilot - A poor, misguided soul who talks about women when he's flying and flying when he's with a woman.
^^^I think this is the funniest^^^
Pitch - The story you give your wife about needing an airplane to use in your business.
Radar - An extremely realistic type of video game, often found at airports. Players try to send small game-pieces, called "blips," from one side of the screen to the other without colliding with each other. Player with the fewest collisions wins.
^^^^As an ATC-trainee, I take this very seriously
Roger - The most popular name in radio.
S-turn - Course flown by student pilot from point A to point B.
Short-field Takeoff - A takeoff from any field less than 10,000 feet long.
Split S - What happens to the pants of overweight pilots (also see "Gross Weight").
Trim Tab -
1. A device that can fly an airplane better than the pilot.
2. Popular diet beverage for fat pilots (also see "Gross Weight").
Useful Load - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, without regard to cargo weight.
Wilco - Roger's brother, the nerd.
Wing strut - Peculiar, ritualistic walk performed by student pilots upon getting out of low-winged trainers following first flight performed without instructor yelling at them. Usually results in instructor yelling at them.
1. Well-known fly-in resort ranch.
2. The airport operator, his four mechanics, and three lineboys.
Log - A small rectangular notebook used by pilots to record lies.
Motor - A word used by Englishmen and student pilots when referring to an aircraft engine. (also see "Aerodrome")
Navigation - The process by which a pilot finds his way from point A to point B while actually trying to get to point C.
Occupied - An airline term for lavatory.
Oshkosh - A town in Wisconsin that is the site of the annual Experimental Aircraft Association fly-in. It is believed to have been named after the sound that most experimental aircraft engines make.
Pilot - A poor, misguided soul who talks about women when he's flying and flying when he's with a woman.
^^^I think this is the funniest^^^
Pitch - The story you give your wife about needing an airplane to use in your business.
Radar - An extremely realistic type of video game, often found at airports. Players try to send small game-pieces, called "blips," from one side of the screen to the other without colliding with each other. Player with the fewest collisions wins.
^^^^As an ATC-trainee, I take this very seriously
Roger - The most popular name in radio.
S-turn - Course flown by student pilot from point A to point B.
Short-field Takeoff - A takeoff from any field less than 10,000 feet long.
Split S - What happens to the pants of overweight pilots (also see "Gross Weight").
Trim Tab -
1. A device that can fly an airplane better than the pilot.
2. Popular diet beverage for fat pilots (also see "Gross Weight").
Useful Load - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, without regard to cargo weight.
Wilco - Roger's brother, the nerd.
Wing strut - Peculiar, ritualistic walk performed by student pilots upon getting out of low-winged trainers following first flight performed without instructor yelling at them. Usually results in instructor yelling at them.
Last edited by Raptor05121; Aug 24, 2008 at 09:40 PM.
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From: Atlanta, GA
Small Hijack (can I say that in an airplane thread?
Brian Shul (SR-71 pilot and 'Sled Driver' author):
I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt and I were screaming across southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles Center's airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed. '90 knots,' Center replied. Moments later a Twin Beech required the same. '120 knots,' Center answered. We weren't the only one proud of our speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 request groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, '525 knots on the ground Dusty.' Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard the familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. 'Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?' There was a longer than normal pause. 'Aspen, I show one thousand seven hundred and forty-two knots.' No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
I love my job.
I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt and I were screaming across southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles Center's airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed. '90 knots,' Center replied. Moments later a Twin Beech required the same. '120 knots,' Center answered. We weren't the only one proud of our speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 request groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, '525 knots on the ground Dusty.' Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard the familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. 'Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?' There was a longer than normal pause. 'Aspen, I show one thousand seven hundred and forty-two knots.' No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
I love my job.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 599
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From: Marshall, Tx
Currently he's not a controller. In fact, I doubt he even knows what a "point 65" is. I believe he is a high school student with ambitions of attending Embry-Riddle for Airfield Administration.
I'm fairly certain that he copied and pasted that list.
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Show off. I bet that broadcast was on guard too. 
Thats why I never felt bad when I would put showoff fastwing pilots in the pattern behind a flight of 3 slow C130s.
I'm fairly certain that he copied and pasted that list.
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Originally Posted by SafetyDaveG
I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt and I were screaming across southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles Center's airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed. '90 knots,' Center replied. Moments later a Twin Beech required the same. '120 knots,' Center answered. We weren't the only one proud of our speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 request groundspeed readout.' There was a slight pause, '525 knots on the ground Dusty.' Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard the familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. 'Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?' There was a longer than normal pause. 'Aspen, I show one thousand seven hundred and forty-two knots.' No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
I love my job.
I love my job.
Thats why I never felt bad when I would put showoff fastwing pilots in the pattern behind a flight of 3 slow C130s.
Last edited by Oxlander; Aug 25, 2008 at 05:53 PM.
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From: North Olmsted, OH
Hmm, someone who thinks they are a controller but really isn't, sounds like a terminal puke to me just kiddin. I just started radar training at cleveland center though, so any of you pilots flying in the western new york area, watch out! hahaha
just kiddin. I just started radar training at cleveland center though, so any of you pilots flying in the western new york area, watch out! hahaha
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From: Fort Walton Beach, FL
The OP did not submit that story.
As for the person who posted that story, he listed the author's name in his post........
As for the person who posted that story, he listed the author's name in his post........
Last edited by chumFX4; Aug 25, 2008 at 04:10 PM.
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From: Buffalo NY
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From: Off the Road, Alaska
http://www.faa.gov/airports_airtraff.../media/ATC.pdf
As far as I'm concerned, as long as you remember the term "MARSA" and stay out of my hair, I'll be happy.
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From: Marshall, Tx
Originally Posted by stompy
Hmm, someone who thinks they are a controller but really isn't, sounds like a terminal puke to me just kiddin.
Last edited by Oxlander; Aug 25, 2008 at 05:53 PM.
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From: Iowa
Several years ago I was a Crew chief for a commercial hot air balloon pilot. He was flying advertising for Wunderbra, a bra that had inflatable panels to make a woman look bigger. The balloon flew over Des Moines the night this happened. I was driving the chase vehicle and heard this dialogue on the aircraft radio:
Balloonist: Des Moines tower this is hot air balloon N***** with the Wunderbra balloon tonight flying at ? AGL over Des Moines currently our position is *
Tower: Yes baloon N***** we have you in sight......... long hesitation then the tower said, hot air balloon will there be two of you (balloons)up tonight?
We still laugh about this one.
Balloonist: Des Moines tower this is hot air balloon N***** with the Wunderbra balloon tonight flying at ? AGL over Des Moines currently our position is *
Tower: Yes baloon N***** we have you in sight......... long hesitation then the tower said, hot air balloon will there be two of you (balloons)up tonight?
We still laugh about this one.
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From: Off the Road, Alaska
Although there are plenty of websites that have funny pilot-atc conversations, I could probably fill a small book with all the times we screwed with tower on my helicopter flights. (and how many times we probably could have gotten in trouble 
)
Probably one of the crazier things was when we were coming into the NE special VFR corridor, holding for about 10 minutes, when the field went IFR. We were not capable IFR (aircraft limitations "legally"), so we flew back NE, outside the surface area, entered a NOE (nap of the earth) low level profile, then snuck back around the surface area to the southeast. (this is where the military area was)
We came in at about 5 feet agl, and maybe 20 kts with no mode C, and used the hangars to hide us from tower. Tower never saw us, but the next day, when flying again, the same controller came on shift, and asked us how our "overnight" was.
)Probably one of the crazier things was when we were coming into the NE special VFR corridor, holding for about 10 minutes, when the field went IFR. We were not capable IFR (aircraft limitations "legally"), so we flew back NE, outside the surface area, entered a NOE (nap of the earth) low level profile, then snuck back around the surface area to the southeast. (this is where the military area was)
We came in at about 5 feet agl, and maybe 20 kts with no mode C, and used the hangars to hide us from tower. Tower never saw us, but the next day, when flying again, the same controller came on shift, and asked us how our "overnight" was.