You guys need to grow up and hide money like me. My wife contols all the money, anything I make goes straight to her and I get an allowence every week. And for the most part we both get what ever we want. And the kids get more then that. See takes care of everything.

 

no way am i ever gonna just hand over my paycheck like that.

 

We aren't married, quite yet, but have been living together for eight years. We've owned this house together for seven years. We have joint checking and savings accounts. In addition we each have our own checking and saving accounts and our own credit cards/loans.

We both pay into the joint checking acount. It's about half our income. This account pays the mortgage and house/living related expenses. That's it. If we go out to dinner, we pay out of our own accounts. If either of us wants something we get it with our own money. It fine as long as we are able to contribute to the joint account.

I think that this situation can work well for couples without kids. I think that kids bring a new dynamic that makes this arrangement difficult. In our house I'm the one who keeps track of the bills. It's not one of her stronger points. It's kind of interesting being that she's the one with the bachelors degree. I was on my own for around ten years before we lived together so I have been taking care of the bills all along.

Og, this situation might work for you. It's a pretty good compromise.

 

as far as i know living together i think its 5 years sharing same legal address you married as far as the state is concerned.

 

forget what i just said i was wrong.

 

Sounds like there are some trust issues in the marriage ...

 

Personally I'd open up the account to use as a "bills" fund. Meaning, you both contribute x amount per week / month / pay period / etc towards spending. Whether it be the power bill, groceries, or mortgage payment, that money should be in the account, ready to be taken out when the bill is due.

After putting x amount away, take the remaining money and put it in your savings / checking as "personal" money. Use that money for mods, big screen tvs, whathaveyou.

Just a thought

(realize that my gal doesn't approve of this although I make more $ )

 

Og's cool. He's just looking for some sound financial planning advice from your friends at f150online.com. Now go hord that ching in your sock drawer next to the condomns that you won't be needing because your married now and she ain't gotta give it up no more.

 

When my wife and I got married almost three years ago, she had ZERO credit and no income. I was the sole income earner.

I added her to my checking accounts and made her an authorized user on a couple of my credit cards.

Today, we have almost ALL of our accounts as joint. She has since procured a great credit file, even gotten approved for an American Express card of her own on which I am an authorized user. There is an inherent trust there, we trust each other enough to know the other person aint gonna try and **** us, financially.

I handle all the finances, budgeting, and bill paying. I also have given her access to the accounts online so she can follow behind me and check up on me if she chooses. So far, it has worked out great. I bring my check home, take it to the bank, we write out the budget, and then stick to it. It's not that hard.

 

It sounds to me like there are some serious trust issues in a lot of marriages these days. My husband and I have been married for 28 years and have had joint accounts for the entire time. To me the your money/my money thing smacks of non-commitment...the old when (not if, too many marriages start out with when today) we end up divorced we don't have to separate the money...attitude. I've always handled the money, paid all the bills, balanced the books and yes, he's handed over every cent he's made, no questions asked. We discuss and make decisions on high ticket items but for the most part, we buy what we see fit. I haven't skimmed off the top. I haven't stolen anything from him, good God people, this is the person I have chosen as a life partner. The person I love. Why would I steal from him? If that's your thinking then you shouldn't be married at all!!!

 

i still say pre nup agreement. i hate to sound negative but..its insurance. you have a better chance of a divorce than you do your house burning to the ground yet we all make sure we pay our homeowners insurance every month/year. if the marriage goes south both people should be able to go back to the lifestyle they had previously.

 

My parents have always had a joint account. And it has never been a issue. They never really have money to play with anyways after bills. Dad has a seperate savings account but he uses that to put money away for family vacations and such. Not him.

I agree that if you cant trust her to have a joint account, divorce her. Or is it the other way around that you dont want a joint account because then you will feel like you cannot spend frivoulously on yourself anymore since its both of your money.

Well said.

 

Trust issues? - Don't know. My gut is telling me to be careful. I work pretty hard for what I have. Am I wrong for wanting separate accounts if it works? There's got to be reasoning why she wants it after all this time. Advantage: wife. - Og

 

I can respect that. - Og

 

I think that there are way to many factors to consider here and both ways can work. But if you have the slightess doubt in your mind about who you are marring or money issues you better straighten everything out before you make that step. We own way to many thing together to start nickeling and dimeing our income including 2 kids.