*Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. *

*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4, 998 live in Texas. *

*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before. *

*Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe. *

*If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! *

*Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. *

*There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house."

"A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck."

*The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2. *

*Onced and twiced are words. *

*Coldbeer is one word. *

*People actually grow and eat okra. *

*Green grass DOES burn *

*When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog.
City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night. *

*The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. *

*When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's
Time to see a doctor. *

*Fix-in-to is one word. *



*There ain't no such thing as "lunch."

There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper. *

*"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and

You start drinking it when you are two. *

*"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you. *

*"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" *

*You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see. *

*You measure distance in minutes or hours *

*You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. *

*Stores don't have bags. They have sacks. *

*You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year. *

*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.*

*You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked. *

*You carry jumper cables for your own car *

*You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. *

*You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco. *



*You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. *



*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football. *

*The first day of deer season is a state holiday. *

*You know which leaves make good toilet paper. *

*You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm. *



*The four seasons are: almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas. *

*You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. *

*Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or"off to Wally-world." *

*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili eatin weather."

*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a coke regardless of brand or flavor. *

 

You're trying way too hard to top Daveg99's GD thread and post count.

 

that was funny

 

Actually don't give a FF about either .... never have, never will

 

Awesome and 99% accurate. The only thing I disagree with is Walmart sucks. Good posting and TEXAS kicks A$$

 

OWN3D

 

I think that exact post is mentioned somewhere in our state legislature. "From the outside looking in, you can't understand it. From the inside looking out, you can't explain it." I think that is the best I can do for ya.

 

you forgot a few.
there is a differance between a 'caar taar and caar faar' (car tire and car fire for you non Texicans).
A Jalapino is the officle state pickle.
And we have the most beautiful women (blondes, brunnets, red heads and a few Deep Elum do's) in the country.
I work in the 'UpTown' section North of downtown Dallas and I am constantly stepping on my tounge!
Check out Primos over on McKinney and Hall street on a Thursday night.
To quote another Texican Chill Wills " People,people,people"

 

yes sir, tell you what

 

oh yeah I forgot one more thing.
The Morning Dove is the fastest bird on the face of the Earth between the month's of September and October here in Texas.
Do I lie Boy's?

 

aw come on.... those were funnnnnnnnnnny!

 

True

 

Sure. Proof's in the posting.

 

I gotta comment on this:

"A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck."
Very true, but they are useful getting a truck unstuck..

*The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2. *
I am from West Texas...this is incorrect...I think it blows more than that...

*The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. *
Never get tired of hearin' em. Miss em now that I live in th' city. Fun to hunt also.

*"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals
False, sweet tea sux. They drink it in the Carolina's

*You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. *
East Texans and West Texans have accents...Dallas is full of Yankees and Daves from Florida.

You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year. *
If Wal-Mart dont have it, ya dont need it.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper. *
This is not true! I would cut my T-shirt into pieces before I would do that. I was deer huntin', and my stomach hurt real bad...TP was too far away to wait.

*You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. *
Yep, this is true!

*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a coke regardless of brand or flavor. *
100% true!!!

 

X2!!! Love the banana!