A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

 

That's funny right there. My dad'll enjoy it.

 

 

 

 

LT, you wouldn't happen to know this "woman" would you?

 

Winston Churchill is credited with this one.

When he was a younger man he was drunk in public and this older english lady is disgusted with he public display of drunkiness and she chides him by saying " Sir you are drunk, you are very drunk"
His reply : Madam, I may be drunk but you are ugly.... Very ugly, and further more I shall be sober tomorrow"




Always a class act.

 

But of course! It's me silly!

 

Not hardly, even a drunk would not think you ugly.

 

Years ago, I was standing in line at the grocery store checkout. The woman in front of me was grossly obese. A drunk stepped into line behind me about the time that somebody's pager went off. He said, "Watch out man. She's backing up." The guy looked just like Raoul.

 

Evil.