Then there was this freakish ripping sound, but everyone on the dance floor thought it was the green bartender's pants, but it was Forrest doing the bananna split. Then there was enough evidence to suffice that blue was the big green freak after all, the Incredible Hulk, just don't make him angry!

 

All of a sudden the lights went out, and everything was quiet. You could hear a pin drop. Then, out of nowhere, the voice of Gilbert Gottfried said "You are all going to die!" Now what happened next was spectacular...

 

So the venerable Gilbert Gottfried pulled his pants up right after he asked wonderwoman to pull his finger, and all salsa bar patrons within a five foot radius passed out due to toxic gas exposure, because GG had eated three pounds of goodluck new years blackeyed peas the day earlier

 

Then the lights came back on with a thud of vengeance. And now, before everyone's eyes stood Adam Sandler. He yelled out, Whaddaya lookin' at???
So the lights went back off. Then they came back on again, and there was a coffin with white roses laying all around it. All the people gathered around to get a closer look...

 

It was Mattineer, who couldn't take the banishment from f150online.com. He died from speelitis, a chronic index finger pecking keyboard disease that renders one useless, but that was well known long before the diagnosis, and there was a collective nod of agreement, then the lights came back on and low and behold, standing before the stage at the salsa bar was the incarnation of Elvis..............

 

.......Costello. He started singing Allison and everyone held hands and sang along. The warmth everyone was showing brought the body of Mattineer back to life. However, it wasn't the same Mattineer they all knew.

 

Cuz da knew Matty cood speil like a jeanious butt coodn't talk verri weil. But alas he was still mostly dead, unlike....

 

the secret Mattineer was withholding from the world, he and he alone has the secret sauce recipe from Ronald McDonald in his pocket, and was within milliseconds of taking it to the grave, and big macs wouldn't have been the same

 

.......dammit

 

^^^^^Disregard^^^^^^

 

without Matty's secret sauce which his baby's momma helped withdraw every day at.......

 

10:00, thirty minutes before the big lunch rush at MickyDee's

 

but today everyone ate the new all white meat Kangaroo nuggets by the......

 

Kaboodle-dozen, a new size created by Mattineer, then everyone realized

 

Dammit Stealth!!! And I was just starting to like you.