proposed exception: Interaction with one's own children, especially at younger ages.

 

Exception accepted, but limited to private settings with children under the age of 3.

 

 

man rule

 

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

 

Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden.
However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man's hall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything.

14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledg e of the game and the ability to drink
as much as the other sports watchers.

15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.

16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set, and we can hit the showers!

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.

21 : Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.

24: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
or orange.

25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or *****. But do you really
know the dif ference between them? In an effort to keep you informed,
the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are
you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"*****" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the
butt and having the ***** to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

 

 

An appropriate response to #13 could be to just say XYZ.

 

I didn't abide by that rule, incited a riot and got my nose broke for it.

 

Caveat #1: It is always acceptable to offer the use of your F150 to tow a Chevy, because that would humilate the owner of the Chevy.

Grim

 

2 men can not ride on the same motorcycle unless the guy on the back is carrying an uzzi

 

Man Law!