Guys...I need your serious input for a few minutes, then we can trash this thread like the rest....


The wife and I try to be good people. We focus on what's right and avoid what's wrong. That is something we should all do IMO.

I'm bitching because I know of people that do not pay their child support, and there are the some people that give a crap about their children and they do pay their child support. My wife is having trouble with her ex-husband paying his child support and can not find anyone to help her get the child support. I have been paying my child support for the past 12 years. I missed a few, but I made up for it. Her ex pays maybe once every 6 weeks. She called the Attorney general and they said they cant do anything and she would have to call his parole officer. he is so far behind that he has a parole officer. Wanna know what she told my wife? "Too bad. Just be grateful you are getting what you get. He will not go to jail, or get into any kind of trouble as long as he makes 1 payment every 6 weeks."

WTF is that crap?

What do you guys think? If worthless people like this *** clown can get away with not paying, and decide NOT to do what's right by law, and get away with it, why should I? I know it's the right thing to do, and that's why I pay. Regardless what some people think of me as a person on this message forum, I do what's right (most of the time).

Anyone know of something my wife can do? To be honest, I couldn't care less if the low life pays the child support or not. But, she wants him to take care of his child like he is supposed to. We aren't hurting for money. I am taking care of my little girl. She's actually HIS daughter, but she knows who is the good guy, and I get a lot of respect back from her (at 11 years old) , but that's beside the point in my book.

Anyway...rant off. I just hate seeing my wife in that kind of mood while she is pregnant.

Thoughts?

 

Well in Maryland the non paying spouse can have their paychecks tapped for the money automatically. The withholding is taken by the state and then paid to the custodial parent.

Apparently Texas has the same.

Take it to court.

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas/txfaq04

http://www.oag.state.tx.us/child/faq.shtml

(and yes you should pay. It is your child that you are helping. I know that most of the money probably gets wasted by the ex but when she has the money to buy the food or clothes it is because you gave it to her)

 

I know nothing about child support so can't help you there, but you are correct in doing the right thing yourself. After it is all said and done, you will be able to hold your head up and say you did the right thing even though it was not easy. I am sorry about the stress on your wife. She just needs to relax and be thankful for the guy she has now and not let the a**hole continue to get to her. It is just money. Happiness is a state of mind, after it's all said and done, money can not buy that.

 

It does pay to do the right thing -- although it doesn't necessarily seem to in the short run.

Some day, when you move on to the happy hunting grounds, my guess is that HIS daughter will shed a few tears over your grave and hold you dear in her memory precisely BECAUSE you did do the right thing!

For him, they'll likely find his rotting corpse in bed with a million maggots after the neighbors notice that no one has collected the mail in over a week!

 

You're right Jamz, it is a crappy situation. I went with a gal for a couple of years who was in the same situation. Her ex never paid for his son and Texas is really bad about enforcing it. She was able to get by without his money and I always helped out also. That little boy was old enough (8) to know what was going on and really got close to me. This gal and I are not together anymore but are still good friends and that little guy is still closer to me than his own Dad. All you can do is the right thing and pay your child support and keep taking care of that little girl like you are. I really believe it will come back to us later with these kids and they do grow up better people from having that un-conditional love while growing up. You are a good person Jamz for doing it right and you can always meet her ex at Rudys for lunch.

 

If he's a lowlife; he probably doesnt have a good job; and doesn't make much money. He can only afford so much right? If he doesnt have food/shelter he dies and is of no good to you.

 

IMO child support is BS.

I dont have any and hope I never do, but from the outside looking in, it appears everyone is just handing money in a big circle. This guys pays his ex, her husband pays his ex, her husband pays his ex, her husband pays his ex which happens to be the first one. I say split custody, (some people, both men and women do not need custody) but if it is split then the cost is also split.

Jamz, it is my distinct observation that what is right is dependant on the person. Many things can influence what a person feels is right. The MOST important thing is to always do what YOU feel is right. When I walk down the street, there is nobody that can make me turn my head or look down. Nobody! I've lost ALOT of money and time over the years to maintian that but it is worth more than I have lost or spent on both. I'd rather somebody else be ashamed to see me, than visa versa.

 

Jamz -

Actually I am surprised that the payment of child support would still be required after one of the parents remarries and the child is cared for in the new family.

Irrespective of that, are you asking a question only with regard to the more philosophical/moral issues or the practical?

Should he pay? Of course he should, just as you should continue paying your child support too. Is it the right thing to do? Yes, and that's why you (and he) should do it. Y'all should do it because you love your children and you wish to continuing to provide for their care. (By the way, I hope when you were asking if he doesn't, then why should you continue to do so that you were not being serious otherwise we've got some talking to do there buddy).

Now, on the practical side, are you asking if your wife has recourse? Don't know because I don't know Texas Law. First and foremost, if the money received from the girl's father is not an issue in terms of "need" then at least know that it means that your wife should not be putting herself thru any undue stress. His not paying does not mean you will end up homeless or the girl will starve. So let go of the stress because it's not life threatening. Now, with regard to wanting to force him to pay based on a matter of principle, well, that depends on what the law is. If the officer is correct and as long as he pays every 6 weeks there's nothing you can do about it, then there's nothing you can do about it (and hence no reason to stress). However, I wouldn't take the officer's word. Research it, find out for yourself. I seem to remember some kind of national list that listed deadbeat dads who didn't pay support (this makes me wonder if it does not fall under federal jurisdiction of some kind). Find out. If getting the money based on principle is you goal then see if you can attach wages, sue, or do whatever it takes. If it isn't that important (or not worth the trouble, and my guess that his reactions to your doing so would not make it worth the trouble) then keep thing status quo. In this case, ask yourself, is this worth pursuing? What's it going to cost us in terms of time effort and grief? The way I hear it, if you're getting anything at all, you're lucky. Is it fair? Nope. But life ain't fair. To use the system to get what's fair or to make things right is costly in terms of effort and money. Cheaters know this which is why they get away with it. So it goes.

I know that probably doesn't help, but before you take action, look at the big picture and see what all is involved then ask if it's worth it, and try not to stress either way. Like I said, it's not life and death so you've got that going for you so don't stress.

By the way: "To be honest, I could care less if the low life pays the child support or not."

That should be "I couldn't care less . . . "

 

The AG's office does and will put a deadbeat in jail if it comes to that, but they want the parent that owes to pay instead of do jailtime. I know because my ex is a deadbeat mom and I am currently going through the legal process with her and the AG's office. I don't really want to get into the gory details, but she owes my daughter and I a VERY big hunk of change and they will pursue. Trust me on that one.

 

Dude... I have a 12 year old son from my previous marriage and my ex has NEVER given me a penny. I'm thinking of changing our papers and getting FULL custody and ask for child support. In the beginning, we agreed on no child support, but that she would pay half of what my insurance doesn't cover (It's in the decree). My son is bipolar and has been hospitalized for a psychotic break and now takes 3 different meds daily that equal out to $250 a month AFTER insurance. We've been sending the ex copies of all of this, but she says she won't pay because she "doesn't think he needs to be on all of that medication." I know I'll never get any money out of her, I just want it on record that she's a deadbeat parent. I'd like to see her sent to jail for it. Not that I'm being vindictive, moreso that I feel she needs to own up to the wrongs she has done to her son. The fact that she owes him so much... She doesn't even call him on his birthday, she pawned his Gameboy and DVD player that my mom gave him, she left his brand new bike behind when she got evicted for not paying her rent and just generally wreaks havoc everytime she does decide to get in contact with him.

 

Jamz I'm glad you've been paying your share. There are many many low lifes trying to get out of paying child support, and getting away with it. The system is overloaded with deadbeat Dads. To me that is what is wrong with the world. Too many men just want to go out and get their rocks off and not take any responsibility for their actions. Our crime rate and so many other things would be much better if we didn't have this problem. As for dude paying, if ya'll can make it just fine without it, what's the problem? It would be more satisfactory to me just knowing that the dirtbag had nothing to do with YOUR child. I call her YOUR child because I'm quite sure that you are her fatherly figure. A girl needs this in her life. That's why there are so many young girls out looking for the affection of another guy (although I don't know where they were when I was 16....but anyway) instead of the love of their father. Kudos to Jamz!!

 

The payoff is when you look in the mirror.
Consider how many mirrors are in your house.
Most vehicles have at least three or four.
Think about how many mirrors you run into on a daily basis.

Only when mirrors are banished from the Earth will doing the right thing cease to pay.

 

Thanks for the replies.

The reason I said I couldn't (sorry bout that Kobi) care less if he pays the child support or not is because I'm the one taking care of her, I'm the one she comes to, I'm the one she wants to hang out with. She know her dad isn't taking care of her. She's a smart kid. i hate the fact that she feels that way about her dad, I really do. It breaks her heart that she goes to his house to visit and see her dad, but he never has anything to do with her.

This was for the wife. I try to explain to her that he can go to hell, and the kiddo still has a daddy, and I will always be there for her. Trust me when I say the kid rocks.

I know I should continue to pay child support, I will always do whats best for my kid. It's MY responcibilty to take care of her, no one else.

Anyway, thanks again guys.

 

hire some bikers to collect for a 20% "service fee"

 

For 14 years I can only remember about from 8 or so till 14. However I can remember, my mom yelling at my father "No child support No seeing your kid" Dad yelling "no seeing kid no child support" Mom would hide me at grand parents half the time.. what a mess! Then wham I was 14 and moved in with dad! boy did he have fun with that.. Im sure glad they enjoyed it. Im 36 now and still think about it.

Moms, Dads pay your child support. Even if the kid dont see it all. Just pay it and someday down the road the kid will grow up and thank you for at least trying.