Finding my wife(ex) in the sack with a guy.

 

I was chucking our pumpkins last halloween into the woods behind the house.
Unfortunatley my pinky nail decided it wanted to make the trip....

Brought me to my knees......

 

Ruptured disc in the lower back {L4-L5 if you are interested.} When it went, it pressed on the nerve running down the left leg. It felt like I had broken the ankle, tore the calf muscle, blew out the ACL on the knee, and ripped the quad all at the same time. {And yes, I have done all of those before…. ] I was taking painkillers like they were Tylenol, and all it did was tone down the pain to a manageable level. Mother Goose, did that hurt! It was really strange for the whole leg to hurt that way when the damage was in the back.

Up to that point, a kidney stone was tops. And this come from the same goof ball that has broken 19 bones, destroyed both knees and screwed up both shoulders. I am still feeling sorry for my parents: we were on a first name basis with the ER docs and nurses when I was growing up.

Woof
Bowser

 

sorry to hear that...


...but that's when You inflict HIS worse pain HE ever experienced

 

I've had my tonsils out, pretty much hurt like hell ( I was 26, the older a person, the worse the pain.) I've hyper extended my knee on a dirt bike (PAIN)....


But the absolute worse pain I've ever expirienced in my life was holding down my 2 year to be examined in the ER after he got hit by a truck. I pray that I, or anyone else, never has to do that... To make matters worse, I was the one driving...
What happened was I went home for lunch, and was leaving to go back to work. Both my 4 yr old and 2 yr old were in the house when I walked out and closed the door. I looked behind the truck to make sure there were no bikes or toys behind me. (We had another kid in the cul-de-sac get his bike ran over just a few days prior). There was nothing there, so I got in the truck, started it, lit a cigarette, and started backing up. I saw a flash in my pass. side sideview mirror... I stopped, got out, and walked behind the truck to see what it was. Upon rounding the corner and seeing my child lying there screaming......Words cannot describe it. He was mostly un-injured, except for what the doctors believe was a hairline fracture to his hip. This was almost 1 year ago, and he's been fine ever since... But if I can't see all the children now, I'll sit in my truck, in the driveway, and call my wife in the house on my cell phone to make sure of where they're all at. What a Godawful time that was.

 

November 2nd 2004 (hurt like a ***** and has gotten progressively worse)

 

Without a doubt, for me, gall stone attacks. Had my gall bladder out a few years ago, i was 29. For about 6-8 months i had the attacks before i went to the doctor. If i ate anything fatty at night, i would wake up about 2-3 am, in severe pain. I never went to the ER, like i should have, just thought it was the food i ate. I could only lay in the fetal position, usually in the bathroom, praying for an early death. When the surgeon took out the gall bladder, he told my mom in the waiting room i had the most gall stones he had seen in 25 years of surgery... Yup.. that was my worst!!

 

It didn't hurt in 2000?

 

I was a hard line neo-con in 2000 and since '84, who had had a bellyfull of clinton and what he represented.

In '03 I said "wtf?" when Rumsfeld said, "There just aren't any good targets in Afghanistan."

It has been a disgusting downhill slide ever since.
I saw it in '03 when only 48% saw it.
Now 68% percent see it but, it's water under the bridge.

We always get the government we deserve.

 

This is no rival to unmedicated childbirth, but...

1. Eletronic laser-arc removal of gum tissue, after it kept growing back when cut with a scapel. Tey slid the metal plate under my back, "numbed me up" and hit me with that laser...

Everyone needs to experience that pain once. I was flat on my back, and damn-near levitated off that bed when that probe went across my gums.

2. I've had my left shoulder dislocated, twice playing football, that's quite painful.

3. Charlie-horses in both hamstrings, simultaneously.

4. Cracked (but didn't break all the way through) a bone in my left forearm; resulting from falling out of a tree.

5. Falling from eyeball level with the top of a telephone pole when my climbing gaff tore out of the pole. I grabbed the pole only to have a shard of wood go through my sleves and into my bicep.

6. Rock came from under my great uncle's riding lawn mower and popped me in the right eye; dropping me to the ground like a bad habit.
It's amazing what a rock propelled by an 8HP blade can do... I'm lucky to have both eyes, and 20/15 vision in both.

7. While rescuing my Cadre from a viscious wrestling assault from 2nd PLT, (You ever seen 60 grown men wrestling/fighting at the same time? Join the Army and have nothing to do one day, and you might get attacked.)

I pulled the guy off of him (my Sergeant) and in my attempt to rip his body of my SGT, the three of us fell to the ground with both of them on top of me, everyone was trying to get up, I'm on the bottom of the pile on my back. Just then I looked up just in time to see another 2nd PLT guy in the air with his kness folded coming down towards my face. I said, "I know this m*********er is not gonna drop his knee in my face." It's like everything went into slow motion, and sure enough down the knee came. I was frozen, still holding onto the dude I had ripped from my Sergeant, and then, "WHAM". Right in the nose/mouth.

I just knew my nose was broke, and some teeth were gone- but no, I was not hurt. I got my lip burst, and it bled quite a bit, but I got up and earth-slammed his butt a few times. That's when I knew I could take a serious hit (outside of football), and be uneffected.

 

And her, she's still paying! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

I was at the gym and I went to grab a 45 lb weight off the squat bar. I was looking at some girl and didnt notice that there was a 25 lb plate in front of the 45 lb plate. I was wearing running shoes (the ones that are pretty much cloth on rubber) and the floor was cement. When I pulled the 45 lb weight off the 25 lb one fell to the floor and landed on my foot breaking my big toe and the 2 next to it.

The toe breaking wasnt really the worst of it though. Since the toe pretty much had cement on 1 side and cloth on the other, the plate broke the toe nail on the big and 2nd toe right between where the toe knuckle is an the toe nail starts (under the skin). Since the only thing holding the toe nail on was the fascia UNDER the nail, the doctor has to take a blade and "disconnect" the nail from the skin underneath the toenail since it would had died from not being connected anymore.

I have broken bones and cracked my skull but there is something about breaking the little bones that hurts really badly.

 

You're supposed to push off, not grab on.

#1 For me: Having a beetle of somekind decide that my ear canal was his new home. It was night and I was doing some stuff to the truck under the carport. Well you know bugs and lights. Damn thing went in and kept going. Thought it was trying to eat my brain. I couldnt take it. I ran inside hollering like a little girl. Ex wife, Dog, Son all thought I had lost my mind. We ended up having to drown the F'er with water. Finally after 30 mins we were able to flush it out. It was TINY. I'll never forget that.

#2 : Pleurisy. I was in the shower, reached over my shoulder to wash my back. I saw a brightlight and woke up on the floor with water running about 5-10 mins later.

Thankfully no broken bones. Even after being hit and drug 500 yards by a car

 

Holy crap. That is my worst nightmare.

Im sleeping with earplugs from now on.

 

Peri-rectal abscess.

Pretty much feels like having a softball shoved up your a$$. You cant sit.

Let me tell ya, it sure aint fun..

Sled...