Do you make your kids say their manners (sir, no sir, ma'am, etc...). If you do or don't, why?

 

NOPE Dont make them. They know better!

 

That's a better answer than I hoped for. I know so many people around where I live who don't make their kids respect adults at all, much less say manners. NOTHING pisses me off worse than to have a 5 year old say "What?" when you ask them a question. Or a 6 year old tell me I was going to hell b/c I smoke. What the hell happened to parenting?

 

I was a kid, once upon a time, that grew up in a military household; responding to an adult with a "What?" or "Huh?" resulted in a smack upside the head. I'm surprised nowadays when I run into other people's kids who can't say "Thank you" or "Excuse me."

 

Yes sir they do.

Becasue we had a serious issue a few years ago with disrespect to everyone including thier mother and I. This was one of the steps taken to correct it. Didn't take me long. I had to get Drill Sargent style tuff for about 3 weeks.

 

"What" should a 5 year old say if he didn't hear you? That's what I say when I don't hear someone. Sometimes I say "say again". It doesn't make them disrespectful. Other parents like my kids because they are polite, not grammar majors. I don't like the "Yes sir", "No sir" because that is too military for me. "Please" and "Thank You" they know how to say quite well.

I never beat my kids when they were growing up. I might have given them both a smack on the butt twice while they were growing up although they will dispute that. I had a very strict father who beat me for what I considered trivial reasons like reporting to dinner 10 minutes late. He used his zippo lighter to burn my sisters high school tossel because she didn't remove it immediately from his rearview mirror which was quite common for hs seniors.

I swore I would never be like my father when raising my kids. I would point them in the right direction and teach them right from wrong. And since I was in the military 6 years I didn't want them to have that kind of upbringing even though I enjoyed my military life.

Now what they do with their lives are up to them.

 

Sounds like you father was a bit too gung ho, but there's nothing wrong with teaching a child to say sir and ma'am. In fact, that's what a child should say instead of what. If my son doesn't hear me, he responds with "sir". My father instilled a pretty good sense of right and wrong in me, and I want my kids to have that respect. To this day, I call my father in law "sir". I remember my day, at 45, calling his father in law "sir", and "Mr".
I feel that kids are not on an adult level, and I will not tolerat being called by my name alone by them, when in my territory. I cannot go to someone else's house and expect their kids to do say "sir" if that's not how their parents a rasing them. However, most of my friends kids know when you come to my house, you'd better bring your manners.
I'm not trying argue that you're wrong or right, you have the right to do as you see fit, and I respect you for that. This is just how I feel.

 

naaa, I never had to say Yes sir, No sir, but us kids going up were raised to have respect to everyone, if not my parents would beat us with a belt and chase us around the house with it if we were ever disrespectful. God forbid we use any curse words, we used to get a bar of soup in our mouth! LOL! That never tasted to good!

Maybe this is why I can take all this abuse on this site and not loose my mind!

 

Maybe we should apply that method to your typing...

 

I'm 51 now and my friends parents and my parents friends have told me for years to call them by their first name now. I told them I can't. I think it would change the way that I view them. And besides I would feel uncomfortable calling them by their first names.

There is nothing wrong with what you expect from your kids and their friends. But try to do it in a way that you don't alienate them. You can still be a strict parent and still be friends with them and their friends. I was afraid to bring friends home when my Dad was home. I didn't want my kids to feel the same way.

 

Yeah, I can see that. My father never was the most friendliest guy to my friends...

 

I think it depends on how they use it. I knew a kid in HS that would alway's say Yes Sir/Yes Mam (sp?)... but the tone made it seem very sarcastic or disrespectfull. If it is ment to be well, it sounds ok. Just goes on how they say it. A simple, "thank you" "excuse me" "yes/No" alway's seemed appropriate when I was growing up. I think if anything is said with meaning and thought, it comes across as respectfull.

 

I concur.

 

Now remember that when your kids have friends over. You can still be a strict respected parent and still be friends with your kids friends. You're supposed to learn from the past. I can't wait to see how my kids handle parenting when the RIGHT TIME comes!!

 

Yes, and I constantly remind my neices and nephews to say their Sirs and Ma'ams. It's all part of good manners and someone has to teach them.