I just started high school last Tuesday and in one of my class there is a girl I liked for seven years. We have been good friends of those seven years but I want to futher our relationship. I really like her, I care for her and I want to be with her.
Is dating her a bad decision because we have known each other for so long or should I just go for it? I know I'll never find someone like her. I would like to see everyone's opinion.

 

Go for it.
There's a chance that she will be the love of your life.
There's also a chance that she won't be.
If you don't ask her, you will never know and you will always regret passing up your chance to find out.

Good Luck

 

Well, in Zap's "Why are we here?" thread, you wrote:

"We are here to learn from our mistakes."

So, here's your chance to possibly make a mistake and fulfill your destiny!

If it's a mistake, learn something from it.

If it's not a mistake, you win.


Look at that . . . you answered your own question and you didn't even know it.

 

Also . . . you name is BLINDMAN . . . yet you wrote:

"I would like to see everyone's opinion."

If you're blind, wouldn't it be kinda hard to see everyone's opinion? (Not to mention that everyone is about 7 billion replies)

Being blind, I can certainly understand how you'd like to see that . . . but seriously, aren't you just tormenting yourself by making such statements and having such high expectations?

Such unrealistic expectations could possibly lead to disappointment in terms of this burgeoning relationship. Take it easy . . . go for it, but don't have expectations that are unrealistic. Just stay cool.

PS . . . good luck with the eyesight thing. I'm told they are doing great things with ocular surgery these days.

 

Think of it this way... in a few years after high school you will go to college she will likely go to college somewhere else. Then you get a job she gets a job somewhere else. You get married, she gets married to someone else. You will never see each other again after highschool anyway... So whats your reserve?

Love them all and you will have no regrets!

 

stay single and you can buy a new ford (f150) every year, she will rip your hart out,stomp on it, you will get married and end up in a mini van. Yah ask here out on a date mini vans aren't that bad I guess

 

I am blind in my left eye from a BB pellet that came back to my eye. I still have my eye, it's just scared over. That's why I choose the name Blindman. ECG is East Coast Gaming. It's a gaming community. I still have my right eye, kobiashi.

 

Dear ECG : Blindman -

I am utterly mortified.

In a poor attempt at humour, I ended up being offensive, rude, moronic, insensitive, and a host of over adjectives I can't think of yet because I haven't had my coffee (refer to my I love coffee and just ask kobi™ threads regarding the coffee thing).

For some reason my brain, common sense, and sense of decorum were all in the "off" position. At the time, I saw your name, and immediately thought . . . HA . . . he's reading posts, and typing, so OBVIOUSLY he can't possibly be blind, and hey . . . look at that . . . he used the verb SEE . . . how ironic is that? . . . so let me just add this little joke here . . . and boy oh boy aren't I clever????

No. I wasn't clever.

I was a jerk.

Please accept my apologies. No offense was intended.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the shower and wash my hair as I have just pulled my head out of my ***.

By the way. You were right. One of the things we are here for is to learn from our mistakes. For me, it looks like this is one of those times.

Kobi -

PS . . .

With regard to asking this girl out. Since you are friends of long standing, you might want to consider discussing it, rather than just flat out asking her out, which, if it comes out of the blue, and runs contrary to your long established arrangement might shock her, resulting in God only knows what kind of reaction she might have. Therefore, discussing it with her, might (and I stress the word "might" here) be an approach you might want to consider.

This happened to me once. I had a good friend, we were friend for years, every so often the thought/feeling came to me that it would be good to take it further. So during one of those periods of thinking/feeling along those lines, I brought it up as a topic for conversation and told her what I was thinking . . . you know, along the lines of "Hey, Dominique, (not her real name) over the years I have often thought that maybe we should take our friendship to the next level . . . (not my exact words, but you get the idea).

This resulted in her confessing that she too had often considered it, but that both of us had decided that it was best not to.

Now, I bring this up because I feel that (in our case at least) it was the best approach. It brought to the forefront that we both had these feelings at times, that it was a possibility, and it did it in such a way as to not throw it out there in a manner that might have thrown her off-balance, or shock her to the point of being offended, and thereby possibly ruin (or threaten) our friendship. Not that this is the case for all, and I'm probably going to get slammed for saying this, but sometimes . . . women can get seriously emotional, and you hit them with something like this, at the wrong time (e.g. they happen to be in whatever state of mind that would cause them to find something like this offensive) and boom! friendship over . . . or at least damaged.

In our case we eventually arrived at the conclusion that it was best not to take it to that next step. The up side was that, because I discussed it with her in this manner, she wasn't placed in a position where she felt cornered, she wasn't forced to decide, which in a scenario such as this can often be viewed by the other party as "If I say no to this, then I am essentially ending this relationship on all levels." Although such a line of thinking is incorrect, it's common (and understandable).

So, I suggest that you don't allow for that to happen. Don't take the chance that by asking for a "date" (or more) she might feel that if she says no to that, she says no to everything else. Discussing it sort of makes it an abstract concept that allows both parties any number of options and allows them to save face. It did in our case, and we still remain best friends to this day (after 20 some odd years). Turned what could have been a bad situation into a win-win situation.

Whatever happens, best of luck.

Kobi-

 

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY AND WISE KOBI

I have to agree with everything Kobi said in his last post. Being on the female side of this topic, and having 95% of my friends be male, I came to find out in later years that most of my guy friends had a crush on me and wanted to ask me out but didn't for fear of ruining our friendship.

*story time - get the coffee ready*

There was one that I found out at his bachelor party, that he had wanted to ask me out (it was by accident that I ran into him that night, while I was on a date with a friend). I cried for months after finding that out. I had such strong feelings for him at the time, but we were in a big group of friends that always hung out and partied and he was supposedly dating my best girl-friend. He admitted to me that he never liked Stephanie like he liked me but he dated her because she and I hung out all the time and that was his way of seeing me all the time (if that makes sense). Anyhoo, he was so awesome and so good looking and just everything I ever wanted in a guy.... and I regret not telling him how I felt back in the day.

But.... there were also those guy friends that asked me out that I had NO feelings for whatsoever, but agreed to go out with them so I wouldn't hurt their feelings by saying no. If they had just said, "You know, I have thought from time to time, how cool it would be to go to the next level of friendship and start dating." that would have given me the option to be able to talk to them instead of being put on the spot to have to say yes or no to a date. Make sense?

So again, I agree with Kobi. When you two are alone hanging out, just bring it up that you've had thoughts and let her talk about it. Don't put her on the spot, that could freak her out.

 

Yeah, I'm on board with the just letting her know how you've been feeling thing. As long as there's not other parties involved I.E. She's already involved with your brother or something like that. Then you might want to "feel" it out a little more. But my thing is if she really values you as a friend she won't get wierded out if you take the "honest road".

 

I forgive you.

 

do you still play with BB guns

Sack up and ask her how she feels about it and make a decision, at least you will have an answer and not find out in 15 or so years down the road at your reunion that all you had to do was make the first move and you'd been in. Chances are though if ya'll are just startin high school some upperclassman is lickin his chops already at some stupid and naive little freshman girls and you won't even have a shot.

 

Just tell her your ready for some serious BSA...

 

well blindman...go for it but

there is not too many "highschool sweetheart" stories that end with the happy ending..

mine did'nt

now i have mrs zap

i'm also 47 yrs old

but i waited 'till i was 35 to get married

lifes a long long yet short road..do what you feel is right..not what you "think" is right

and dont let that "little guy" down there do your thinking for you

enjoy life bro

...zap!

 

Well, hes right. Don't let the "little guy" do all of your thinking. Just let him do most of your thinking.

Go for it man but one hint of advice, don't be too good to her because you'll get used. I hate to say it but you have to let a girl know shes not your only option and you have other girls that want it out there. Trust me on this one and remember, girls enjoy the chase just as much as guys do.