Sounds like you need to hit the strips bars for some grade A prime hootie cans. Women are nuts. Hope everything works out either way for ya.

 

She will be using all 500 minutes to find herself and you will be funding the fun....

To many girls to choose from, don't waste away your young life waiting!

 

I swear to god if you post in 6 months that your back together the Tan Terror and I are making a road trip and going Jamzwayne on your ***. Seriously. For now, I'm going to pretend I never even read this post. Instead I'm going to pretend you posted the following:

"Hey guys, just wanted to let you know the skank is gone and I'm a free man. While it hurts a little, I realize she's a wack job and it was not a healthy relationship. I already banged some hot piece of **** last night and am going out for more tonight. Man, I can't believe I wasted 4 years with that other chick and didn't see how nuts she was after our first breakup - this single life is great!"

 

Good advice by everyone! When all is said and done, you gotta do what makes you feel comfortable and right. Whether you wait for her or not it's a learning experience that will shape a part of you the rest of your life. Only you can make that decision. Don't make the decision based on what we say here.
I was in a relationship for 12 years, thought it was for life. She finally said she needed a little time away from me. I argued, but finally realized it was for the best. She never returned, I had some of the best single years of my life. Finally a woman just dropped into my life. I wasn't looking, she wasn't looking, we just bumped into each other and had a casual date or two. Now we've been together 20 years, and have two boys. Hard to imagine life without my family. Things work out Cowboy, things work out. Just hold your head high, be honest with yourself and those around you........ you'll be happy you did!

What don't kill ya' makes ya' stronger!!!!

 

While derzevit's response is a little insensitive, it's also hilarious and much closer to reality.

"I need to find myself" ranks right up there with .....

"I love you but I am not in love with you" which translated means,

"I love you but I wanna beat down someone else for a while to make sure I couldn't love someone else more"

Listen, If a girl ever tells you that she needs to find herself and she can't do it with you around. Is that really a good thing? It sounds to me like they wanna say "hey, you are screwing up my life" does anybody really want to be in that position.

These types of things I would consider more appropiate with friends, not romantic relationships. Everybody has to find themself a little bit, it's normal. If the relationship is strong enough, you help each other find yourselves.

So, I have to go with the naysayers on this one. Women out number men like 3 to 1 except in Alaska. Surely a good percentage found themselves already, and won't expect to selfishly put you on the back burner.

Oh and the same thing applies if it were you saying this to her. It's BS.

I just recently broke off a relationship with a very nice girl I was seeing. I told her straight up. I don't want this, it won't make me happy and it's not what I want. I didn't candy coat it with a bunch of crap. And then a week later, I "found myself" with the 20 year old red head that lives across the street from me.

 

Ya'll make things sound so easy. I wish they were. I wish I could sleep at night. I wish I could be comfortable being all alone in my house. But the truth of the matter is I can't. My life sucks and my job sucks. I sit around all day alone in my cubical and now I spend all night alone in my house. This damn country music isn't helping either.

I want to make one thing clear though. I'm not as pathetic as I may sound. Ok, Maybe I am. I don't know. Anyway, this isn't some line she is giving me. I know her well enough to know that this is a journey she honestly needs to go on. No, I'm not being blinded. Trust me. I told her the same thing. There is no reason she can't go on a journey with someone by her side. She disagrees. Its just a gamble I need to decide if I want to take. Do I wait 6 months and see what happens or do I not? Do I believe we're meant to be or not? The answers are probably No and Yes. Would I give us a second chance 6 months from now? In a heartbeat. Will I date within the next 6 months? More than likely. Believe me, I understand your comments.

Anyway, thanks again guys. It's easy to talk on here. My friends are all in relationships and probably tired of hearing from me. I don't really have a family to support me.

 

First off....country music will get you through if you view it with the right persepective....I love country...when you are depressed just listen to it and think...wow their life sucks much worse than mine.

I can imagine going home alone is rough. Consider a dog? In a lot of respects they are much more fun to come home to than a woman. Present company excluded ladies.. Plus when they are young they are cute....chick magnet...

Good luck UC....it'll be fine in the end.

 

UC - My sympathies on the broken heart thing. That part sucks and it might take some time before you really get over her.

But you have got to start the process of recovery. The sooner you face it the better - it is OVER with you and her.

IMO, the 'six months' serves 2 purposes for HER:

1) Until she gets a new man, you are on-call if she needs something manly done, like a flat tire changed, moving her furniture, etc...Basically, she knows you will do anything for her, no questions asked.
2) She delays the inevitable permanent break-up. She is afraid that it will devastate you and she is trying to let you down 'gently' because it makes life easier for her.


You could be her fallback positon in case she doesn't find someone else. But IMO she is NOT planning on getting back together. Ever. She will temporarily let you keep the illusion of a future with her for reasons #1 & #2 above.

Cut all ties - it is painful but it is the best way.

 

Bro, I think we have all been down that road. I dated a girl for three and a half years, intended on marriage when I came back from the desert, but low and behold, she couldn't wait it out, nor did she have the guts to tell me til I came home.

Anyway, you know her better than anyone on here, and it is your decision to make. Advicew from friends always helps, but how many guys actually follow a buddies advice when it comes to a relationship? Maybe 5%. All I can tell you is to give your best friend a call, the one guy that you know would drive to Mexico at 5 in the morning on a Monday to get you outta jail. The guy that knows you and your girl better than anyone, and TAKE his advice, because his view isn't gonna be obstructed, and he see's the picture without the love issue. I can't tell you how many times I shoulda followed advice, but I didn't for whatever reason.

Whatever you deciede, we will always be around.

 

UC,
I sent you an email, maybe it will make you laugh. I ran across that a few months ago and thought it was fitting to send it to you. I almost posted it here, but some might would have gotten offended. It is funny though!


Hang in there man!

 

yeh sounds like thats the best idea.

 

Not to be insensitve or anything..

But I think a hefty "Humph" sound, followed by the sentence "And these are the days of our lifes." would fit here...

If you love her and the thought of being with anyone else is repulsive to you. Then you should defiantly wait the rest of your life for her.

If not then don't wait around, especially since the verbage you choose indicates that you feel like the odds might be stacked against you.

This "wait 6 months" that she says, and the "I'll wait 2 months" that you said, is a truck load of B.S. on both of your parts. Love is not luke warm, Love is not on again then off again, and most importantly Love is not one sided! It's all or nothing buddy.
Either wait forever for her and I mean that even if she does date someone else, then YOU should wait on her until your dying day. OR you shouldn't wait a single day! Currenlty you are just simply avoiding having to make the decision.

 

get counciling, ask her to go. you both need help and there is nothing wrong with asking for it. some churches offer counciling for free.

even if you drop $200 it would be worth it. go even if she dosent want to.

 

I agree you are either waiting for her until or you are moving on.
I was married and the *(*&)@(#$* (and I use that loosely) said she need sometime. So we talked for a while that night and I said ok I will be here (If you love someone let them go if they come back they were yours, if they don't they were never yours to begin with). Well after a couple weeks and a few trips out with the boys, I guess I was never hers or she was never mine but it was all for the best.

As you know my wife and I are both in the Marine Corps and we had been stationed together at every location but had never met until I was trying to go to where my ex was living because I was involved in Operation Desert Shield/Storm. I had my orders setup and when I went in to reenlist for them someone had taken them so I became a pain in the a** and they worked it out to get me there. So I got (with an attitude) there before the person who took my orders did. So in walks this female Marine who took my orders and I was an a** to her all the time cause of the crap I had to go through. Well long story we didn't talk much or even get along but later come to find out she went there for the same reason what ended up being her ex. Finally after about a year one day we ended up in a good conversation while everyone from the unit was out at a bar. We hit it off and had a lot in common. Then 4 months later guess who wants the man back. So long story not getting any shorter. It just happened and the rest is present day.

I would say don't commit to anything - don't say I'll wait because if you do and by chance someone else enters your life and she wants to come back your are sh**.
- If you say you'll wait and just turn down opportunities to meet other people then you may let that one true love get away.
- Then again maybe you'll meet new people, make new friends and never find that someone until the two of you run into each other by chance having a great time and rediscover each other realizing what you had been missing.

Just my .02 cents.

Whatever happens I wish you the best.

 

Been there done that…

You will sleep better once you tell her she has a choice. One, within the next 72 hours she gets her butt home OR two, see you later baby, time to move on…

It is the only way, no it’s not easy to begin with but it will get better in time. If she hasn’t found herself already she is forever lost and will remain lost until the day she leaves the good earth…

Maybe she truly does have emotional problems who knows, but if she has them now she’ll have them forever. How many times will she leave to find herself to leave you hanging until one day you realize you wasted years upon years of your time?

Will you be 48, 52 years old? Thinking to yourself ”Damn how did I let so many years blow away wasting my time on someone with emotional problems?”

I put up with it for 10 years and kind of had to because I had a daughter so that made it tougher. Maybe if I had been a dead beat dad who could give a crap about his kid it would have been easier to just say screw it and leave.

10 years my friend is a VERY LONG time to waste on somebody that WILL indeed screw you around again, and again, and again.

I know you mean well and I also know you are speaking straight from your heart. I am as well to you and I am telling you my friend sometimes you just can’t listen to your heart when your brain is full of complete logic. You know deep inside you are questioning this whole situation, you know deep inside your asking yourself ”Is it possible for this to happen again?” and I am telling you DAMN STRAIGHT it will happen again and if you think you hurt emotionally now you haven’t felt anything yet…

You are young, 25 is very young and you have so much ahead of you do NOT waste it on someone that is lost. You will find someone, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week but it will be much sooner then you think. However, you will NEVER find someone while your heart and mind is tied up waiting on someone that is never going to truly find herself, she isn’t, she is gone and she will never “fully” return to you…

I know I sound like an *** and I truly do not mean to but if I hadn’t seen it, experienced it, I would just butt right out and let do what you want to do and figure he will learn the hard way. Just want to put that out there for you to think about.

Life is to precious to waste, time is to precious to waste, she is out there but you haven’t found her yet and you won’t as long as your tied up with this girl…