afterburners from two stealth fighters dispatched to deal with the solar nuclear threat. Just as it enters earth's atmosphere, the two fighters lock in on their target and detonate the device while it's still miles above the surface of the earth. Lightning Rod, who is manhandleing the 12 lb. bass he just caught, looks up, and says to his fishing buddy...

 

"screw the catch and release limit and ya know what this means he says' no work tomorrow! HEE HAW...... As the bright light got closer the stealth bombers tried locking onto the light but was useless due to the object being too far away. 15 minutes till the Nuclear Solar weapon destroys all of earth say's the evil aliens. The evil alian have a chuckle at our expense just then the NORAD starts to come up with a plan Sargent Milliar of the NSA calls an emergency world meeting Nato gathers on the phone but of course Frances line was busy talking to someone esle about hidding. Sgt. Milliar says.......

 

"Get CIA-Agent on the horn. He'll know exactly what to do. He knows everything!". Within a moment, CIA-Agent's molar phone rings. With a flick of his tongue, he answers and says...

 

Yo Adrian! I did it!

 

Sgt. Milliar hangs up the phone and say's Damn I dailed the wrong number!, I got some guy who thought he was Rocky" The red phone was ringing on the conference table... it was NATO command centre. Sgt. Milliar picks up the phone ........

 

...The voice on the phone says, "Press 1 for English or 2 for Spanish.".....

 

and the person on the other end says (in a demanding voice) ...."i want my mommy"

 

uh......excuse me.......... WTF are you guys talking about???

 

It was SAFEFFC, and the queen was his mommy. "Damn, wrong number again" said Sgt. Milliar. " I knew we should have gotten a Verizon account."

With only short minutes to spare, one more call was placed in a desperate attempt to contact someone who knew what the heck to do. Finally...

 

Billy Mays answers the phone and says, "Use Oxy-Clean, it'll get rid of anything." Sgt. Milliar now knew what to do, so he ordered his men to load their long-range guns with Oxy-Clean and...

 

load their inferior weapons but it was useless due to it was raining outside now and the oxy clean would never make it that far. The bright light was 9 minutes away!.... The big debate was whether to use nuclear weapons to distry the object or risk using another method just then ........

 

a door-to-door photon torpedo salesman knocked on the door. "Let me introduce myself" he said. "My name is Spangler Arlington, and I represent the Acme Weapons Corp. I was refered to you by a Goober Hastings, do you know him." Just then......

 

The screen door on the submarine started letting in all the water, and the sub was going down... so at that point,

 

the U-boat captain said to his crew, "Kiss your bratwursts goodbye boys, hope you can tred water.' But mine Captain....

 

You were kissing miy bratwurst this morning! does this mean good by? I know we have a "dont ask" policy, but I need for you to know something about me- I'm........