A guy at work told another guy that he was as worthless as a screen door on a submarine. That was without a doubt, the funniest thing I heard today.

What are some funny sayings that you have heard.

 

"he was shaking like a dog ****ting razor blades..."

 

old boy too a kid fumbling with a wrench
" JUST LIKR A BEAR CUB PLAYING WITH HIS D* Ck "
MITCH

 

built like a brick *****house

 

"tighter than a bullfrogs A$$"

 

Talking about a woman's build quality:

She's finer than the hair on a bullfrog's a**!

I was watchign BLue-Collar the other night with Jeff Foxworthy. He said some guy was "dumber than a sack full of hammers"...

 

this one always brought a chuckle

 

^^^ That's great.

"Sharp as a marble" has always been a favorite.

 

"You're about as useful as a three peckered Billygoat."

 

Im out, like a fat kid in dodgeball

 

I love it like a fat kid loves cake

your not the sharpest tool in the shed are ya?

 

If my dog had your face, I'd shave his a$$ and teach him to walk backwards,

When a coworker is being obnoxious to you, ask him if he signs your paycheques.

 

...Thats slicker than snot on an ice cube
...She's about as pretty as a bucket full of a$$h0!es with the ugly ones picked out
...She took a walk through the ugly forest and got hit by every branch

I predict a long thread here...

 

I work with a guy who is a few french fries short of a Happy Meal.

 

From The Green Mile
" I believe this boy's cheese has done slid off his cracker"

Colder than a well diggers a$$