I wish I had a good one, but I would love to see this topic fill up for lots of friday entertainment!

Please post if you:

Are an officer, and have a story about some stupid person that caught your attention,

Have done something really dumb, which recieved lots of attention FROM law enforcement.

 

I am a Correctional Officer in a County Jail. I have seen too many things to type. I could write a book. Anything specific you want to hear about? Drunks, drugs, assualts, violence, etc.

 

How about telling a couple of your personal favorites?

 

...like pulling-over idiot drivers who pull out in front of you then slow to a crawl...

 

I tell y'all, I see so many idiot drivers that I sometimes wish I was a cop!

 

I have a few.
I was a DNR officer, then Probation officer and this summer I was a prosecutor. This Fall I was a Public Defender.

Oh the stories I Could tell.... If I were allowed to.

 

I'm a Correctional Officer in a County Jail. I was drug free before going to work there, the fools get stuff in no matter how much you check them,one day this guy lit up twice on us and I was getting a buzz off the grass he had smoked in his cell. He claimed he did it cause we didn't give him some meds fast enough that he needed.We have females come in packed and thats with a pipe too.If theres a place too hid it they will.But we will keep on trying to stop stuff from getting in,but they come up with a new plan all the time.Some days we win others we lose, its how you play the game.

 

I was a screw for 15 years in a federal max pen, how many screws we have on this board?

 

I'd hate to imagine some of the places where these people hide their drugs(actually I am, cuz I am suggesting how bad it could be).

And they probably aren't too ashamed of where it fell out of...

shiver....shake....

I-menace, what are you sworn to secrecy, I work in a hospital, and also have rules, but if you keep it vague enough... share one please please please...

 

I'm always amazed at the freakin weapons that prisoners manage to come up with. I saw a display of confiscated prison weapons when we were touring a prison in college for a CJ class. Pretty nasty stuff.

 

Hi folks.I got one for you, last fall myself and a fellow officer were driving on stars road( a main street here) and at the intersection we were cut off by this speeding car. Upon lighting up on it we noticed something very strange in the car. after it stopped and we aproached it we fouind five very large marijuina plants stuffed in the car. some people are just stupid eh.If this terd were to follow the rules of the road we probably never would have got him.

 

Where at?

 

For the members of "joe public" who really has no idea, inmates are very resourceful, and when they plan a trip, they bring new meaning to the term "suitcasing".

When I was in screw college, they showed us X-rays of prisoners insides, and you would not believe the amount of luggage a seasoned veteran can fit inside his bunghole.

Hence the term "suitcasing", get it? get it?

One guy had 2 syringes wrapped in electrical tape, a small vile of hash oil, ten hundred doller bills wrapped up tite (u know real tite as like in your gonna do a line.
and, if that were not enough, he even had a small container of pills, all shoved up where the sun dont' shine.

I saw the X-ray with my own eyes, and you could see the outline of everything plain as day.

They ended up dry celling him (thats when they put you in a cell without plumbing, and after the guy takes a dump, its some poor saps job to go in there and sift thru the dumpage.

I would never volunteer for this job unless it was on a double time day.

 

If his meds were that important perhaps he should have shoved some of them up his **** instead of a joint...

I just love how some folks can twist things around so that now it's YOUR fault

 

there was this guy near my house that got cought stealing a anhydrous ammonia tank. It was one of the... like 500 gallon tanks... he has it chained to the back of his car pulling it down the road. Everytime he hit the brakes, it would slam into his car. They had pics in the paper of his car. It looked like he got rearended by a semi truck. LOL Very funny. Just shows you how stupid crack heads are.