CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother
won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

"First, you must,
wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by
2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
power! Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ..
Peter, Peter, something or other..."



PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"



LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."



MICKEY MOUSE and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f%*king Goofy."



SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying,"Lie to me! Lie to me!"



DID you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.



ONE day, Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he, managed to have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said," Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs.
"Here," she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for squirrels," said Tarzan.

 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding the old trail.
Tonto jumps down and places his ear to the ground.
After a minute or so, he gets up and says "Horse Come"
"How do you know?" says the Lone Ranger.
"Face Sticky" says Tonto

 

Fairy Tail? Are you sharing your fantasies with us again Gator?

 

LMAO!!!!

i dont really get the first one though...

NEVERMIND!!!! I JUST GOT IT!!!!!!

 

There you go, now your catching on to Gator....

 

And here I thought 01 XLT would be on me for the spelling error

 

Nope, not me. RockPick is the official spell checker and corrector...

 

I'm licensed by the pope.

 

LMAO, I can see why, does he know where he is???

Didn't think this one should follow the above..

 

Well I got sumthing you can check.........

 

The answer is no.

 

You have to ask the Pope, not that little black ball...

 

I'll get back with you then... he's AFK right now.

 

What if I reword the question

 

Don't confuse him anymore then he already is...