gee this is a tough one, which side to discuss. see i've been on both sides. being a 19 yr old punk who thought it cool to only talk when spoken too, and being a parent of a 17 almost 18 yr old kid.
my answer when i was 19 was to leave i joined the army and never looked back. when i left i informed the wardens that i would never be back and they wouldn't be hearing from me ever again.
4 weeks into basic i was told by the DI that i had to write home and he would proof the letter and then mail it. fine. at graduation i was honor grad, feeling pretty proud, so i actually invited them to see the ceremony. nope too busy with work. fine.
when i got to germany i was honor grad from a class there, then went to nbc school and was 3rd in the class. i again invited them to come see me,(at my cost) nope too busy. fine.
when i had been there for 6 mos. i got a call from my 1st sargeant who had a call from the red cross. seems they wanted me to call or write. finally i went home on leave, 2 years after leaving.
you wouldn't believe the difference. every where i went people who knew my parents had to tell me how much they bragged about me and how proud they were of me. how sorry they were not too have been able to come see me.
you see they didn't hate me only that i wasn't going anywhere in life. that and the fact that i didn't show them the respect they deserved for bringing me up and allowing me to stay at home.
it's hard to explain but now days i regularly visit both my parents, and enjoy each and every visit.

 

Let's put it this way, I hate the Army. Besides, the state of position the U.S is in, oh yea wonderful time to Join, LOL yea fuggin right. I know I"m being a *****, I don't care,,,,,,,,91

 

 

If I were'nt too old to enlist I'd go in a heartbeat. But that's just me because I love this country and think of other people besides myself, especially my family.

You're really showing your true ignorant colors now ...... what color is selfish and thoughtless anyway?. I pity your parents and clearly see why they are upset with you. Get some counseling soon, you have some deep issues.

Good luck.

 

And you wanted sympathy. Some gave it and now they probably regret it. Your attitude here is pretty easy to read. Been there, done that. I volunteered for a war that wasn't even declared. My brother was drafted and I hear little boys, yeah that's right, little boys like you whining and it makes me sick. So you don't want join the military during war time. WTF !!!! Do you want to do your time during peace and reap the benefits? With that state of mind , just don't join because you don't seem you would be very commited to any oath you take.

I'm pretty sure you've heard this from tired and smoke filled lungs. ""Would you just grow up!!!!"

Heed the advice, it's free and heart-felt.

 

My Dad used to tell me, "If you live under my roof, you will go by my rules." And that's what he meant. I didn't question his authority either. He'd say, " If you don't like it here, move out." And another famous saying of his was, "Don't just sit there, get up and do something, and use your head for something besides a hat rack. Move, move, move!!!" I did'nt like it much, but I found out he did this to get me ready for the real world. And to make me learn self- responsibility and loyalty towards him as a father. That's just life, it all goes hand in hand. You'll see what I'm talking about when you get a little older. I know it's hard to juggle school and work at the same time, but if you stick with it and tough it out, all that hard work WILL pay off. I know, I sound like your father. But I tell you the truth. Just take it one day at a time, set your goals, and never look back. You'll be fine. Trust me.

 

Ok I apologize, this thread i posted was to hopefully get somewhere to help me understand that I'm not alone in this, tks guys I have looked into the Army, Marines, and Navy. All are not for me, I'm in school and in college, and work part time. Oh yeah, telling me to just grow up in bold only pisses me off more, I've been told that a time or 2 by my parents, and at almost 20 yrs old, it sucks my C to hear that still!!!! I do not expect anyone to pity me!! As of now, I have only 3 things that I"m proud of, my lovy duvy g/f Amanda, my 351 on the engine stand fully rebuilt, and my 98 Ranger. I have a long future ahead of me, so there is still time to correct this crap. Suicide is not an issue here, I just sometimes feel that way and always felt that way in High School. Since then I have grown up! Like I said, telling me to grow up is like telling me to go ***** myself, so chill!!!!!! No need to crucify me jsut yet and I'm not making any sense,,,,,,,91

 

I know better than to tell you to go F' yourself because I know from experience that it doesn't work because when it's hard it won't bend and when it's soft it won't reach.

You're not alone in your plight, there are many. So get a grip and move on. You posted crap and got crap back. A taste of your own medicine, so to speak.

Remember, you reap what you sow.

By the way, did anyone with smoke filled lungs help you rebuild that 351 on the stand that makes you so proud?

'nuff said .....

 

I was going to put in a word yesterday but thought this was just about all worked out. '91 got some good advice from people who, like myself, have been there and back, and realize now that we are old farts, that things look different when the shoes are switched.

'91, you have received some really good, heartfelt advice. Several have detailed transformations in their relationships with their parents, transformations that are similar to each others and to my own. You are really, really angry. You are doing things now that even you acknowledge make no sense. Guess what. Your dad is frustrated too, and probably by a lot more than just his son.

You will always be his son, and he will always be your father. As long as you live, you will measure your own success by comparing yourself to your father. Nearly every post on this site has suggested that you first calm down, second, try hard to see what (besides you or even the probably extremely little you ever do wrong) that is eating your dad, and try to help him. I remember the first time I tried that on my own dad, he just about fell off his chair.

Now I am 45. My kids are not yet your age, but I have learned that it is a lot tougher being a dad than it looked, and I have learned that no matter how hard I try to teach that to my sons, he doesn't know how to learn that. I still love him SO MUCH, but he is not sure, just because I cannot spend my time telling him I love him, but sometimes I have to motivate him to grow up. Sort of like what the other posters are trying to do.

Why don't you post a new thread in a couple of weeks after you have tried a few of the suggestions in this thread? I especially think the one to see a counselor is pretty good.

Go for it!

 

I guess I am one of the few that thinks calling anyone you ever expect to see again a "lying sack of ****" is wrong. and I don't care what kind of day they were having. Your dad is a grown up, and as such you don't say those things to your kid.
If he is always like that, I suggest you move out before such behaviour rubs off on you, if it hasn't already.
Now let's get back to you. If your dad doubted you, I'd venture to guess you have been asked to do things in the past, and you haven't done them. I'd also venture to guess if you had a chat with your dad, that he did not have a vehicle as nice as yours when he was your age. He may think you are sponging off him and that he is supporting your lifestyle, and he would be correct.
If you think moving out isn't an option, then you are too comfortable. (think about that) How comfortable is it knowing no matter what you do, it isn't good enough? How comfortable is it being called vile names without provocation?
My first car was a 1970 nova, and yes, it was old when I got it. but I paid for it with my own money, and tuned that bi!ch up so it ran better and faster than a spoiled kids new T/A! I also worked my share of chit jobs, but managed to move out when I was 18. My mom was your dad. She would wake me up at 2am when she discovered my dad had fallen asleep, missing one of his duties of the family business, and drag me out of bed by my hair to go and do it if I didn't get up fast enough. According to her, I was worthless, and my dad had worked so hard, he just couldn't do it all. I had worked for the family buisness since I was 14. I finally got a full time job away from home, was going to college part time, (at my expense) and did my chores for the business too. My sister, 2 years older, who went to college full time (at their expense) only had to do her college stuff. I hated her. I hated my mom.
I turned 18, and got the hell out of there. Where did I get the money? I sold the one thing that kept me from doing myself in long ago. My best friend, and companion, my horse. I knew she was my savior when I had her, and I knew she would be my savior when I sold her, but only if I sold her to get out, so I did.
I hate to think of the bitter waste of human life I would have become if I didn't leave.
My second car was a gremlin. So what? I worked 50 hours every week to bring home $130. I got paid every friday, and paid my bills before buying anything else. On Sat., I went and put my clothes in the laundromat, ran to the grocery store, came back, put my clothes in the dryer, went home and put the food away, came back and folder my clothers, then went home tired and satisfied that another week had gone by and I was still making it. No one to yell at me anymore, and when I slept, the only thing I had to wake up to was my alarm that I set.
My sister now has college education, making three times what I make, and I have about 40 credits in accounting drafting, psyc, and auto mechanics, but I work for myself, and have time for my kids. My kids that I would never call a lying sack of chit, even when I know they are lying. I simply look at them and say "do you want me to be able to trust you?" Then they confess.
I didn't own a decent looking vehicle until I was 30, but I bought a house when I was 25. I paid cash for every home repair / improvement, and did it myself.
It took years for my mom to realise I wasn't a loser. and it took me hanging up on her, or leaving family gatherings a lot, before she noticed I wasn't taking her crap anymore. I think she really started to appriciate me when my sister left the state, and she realised she was getting old, and I was all she had.
Your dad might have problems, but it is not up to you to fix them. It is up to you to save yourself. Sell your truck, get a piece of crap that runs, and continue going to school and working.
Don't think I am ranting, if you don't want to BE your dad, then do what you have to do, and get out of there.

 

" I know better than to tell you to go F' yourself because I know from experience that it doesn't work because when it's hard it won't bend and when it's soft it won't reach. "


LOL LOL, OMG that was funny!


Habibi

 

LOL..heh heh

Yeah..I used to watch my dog in amazement and think.."Thats it..Im learnin to do that so I can get out of this expensive girlfriend sh*t!"...but to no avail...I just kept falling off the couch and hurting myself.. Looks like its still the dating field fer me.. Anyone know a good yoga academy?

 

19? student? live at home? Why dont you go march in one of those anti war rallies like the rest of those 19 year old green hair ,live at home,student ,suck off their parents,peace pussies.The old man busts his *** all week long to support you and pay that tuition,gives you a garage to build that motor in.You say you pay most of your truck payment ,Who pays the rest?
And why did the old man assume you didnt do what your mom asked?Cuz you probably have a history of blowing off your chores.Why do you think the old man is so interested in the war that you so cavalierly dont give a F!@# about?Its because things that happen in America or abroad affect families eveywhere.Did it ever occur to you that he is concerned about Real world issiues that have a direct impact on Interest rates,energy costs,he`s paying the mortgage and heating the house.Maybe he has investments that could be affected by the war and wants to plan accordingly.Is he a veteran ? if so he has other concerns.As far as wanting to drive into a wall at 70 mph let me tell you something,your old man would do it in a heart beat if it meent saving your life.Dont ever forget that.