The Dead-Horse Theory
Thread Starter
|
Global Moderator &
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,890
Likes: 61
From: Among javelinas and scorpions in Zoniestan
The Dead-Horse Theory
I got this from a friend yesterday, and think you all might find it amusing. I was unable to find that it had been posted before, so if it has, you're free to ignore it.
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of economy than do some other horses.
- Jack
However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of economy than do some other horses.
Global Moderator &
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 26,080
Likes: 85
From: Burleson/Athens/Brownsboro, TX
I never had a horse, haven't worked enough to afford one, and if had one, it would have died. My neighbor has 2 horses and so the government needs to take one of his and give it to me. The also need to provide feed for it.
__________________
Jim
Jim
Trending Topics
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,697
Likes: 14
From: In the fast lane from LA to Tokyo...
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 182
Likes: 6
From: West Columbia, SC
Just remember if your new government issued horse get's sick, take it to the horse doctor free of charge. What oh what shall we do when your horse get's too old to carry you around?
Thread Starter
|
Global Moderator &
Senior Member
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,890
Likes: 61
From: Among javelinas and scorpions in Zoniestan
The "Part D" to Horseacare is a bummer though - it's just "shoot"! 
- Jack
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 182
Likes: 6
From: West Columbia, SC
Well at least and as long as it is a horse the government can be humane and put the dead horse out its misery...
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,845
Likes: 0
From: In a house, in a small town
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,165
Likes: 3
From: Cabot, AR
13. RIF the remaining live horses due to their prohibitive costs.
