Thank you!! It feels so good not to be the only idiot in a group of my peers!

 

LOL I love this stuff! Suddenly I realize I'm not the only idiot! hahaha...

I once backed a ryder rental truck into a gas pump and knocked it over. Ya that was a fun moment in my life. LOL :o

WOT

 

Not my goof but its a great story!! In the late 80's I had a monte carlo ss with a very strong .030 350, it was a magnet for guys looking for a race. One day returning from shopping, a Trans-Am with a couple of wise guys pulls up next to me at a light, itching to run me. Im a gamer so I went along with it, when the light changed the T/A pulled away and the two clowns both looked back laughing making obscene gestures while still hard on the gas, it was a fast car. While they both had their heads up their a$$es laughing at me an old guy in a caddy stopped in front of them to make a left turn..... Needless to say the smartass buried that trans am into the trunk of a sedan deville in a big way!!! Guess who drove by laughing and making obscene gestures this time... Theres no way I was hangin around to see what the final outcome was.. I was laughing waaaaaaaaay too hard.

 

I was just finishing up replacing the thermostat in my Ford EXP and my dad gets home and says to get my car out of the garage. So I'm still adding coolant to the radiator and it's warming up and I still had more to add. So I back it out and just set the hood down. As I'm backing it out I decide to take it around the block. I get around the block and I am about 2 blocks from my house, I hit 3rd gear and WAM!!! Everything goes black, I cant see a thing, I let go of the shifter, the steering wheel, feet off both pedals. I realize what happened and I slam on the brakes. I didnt put the hood all the way down and I slammed against the windshield. So here I am in my neighborhood trying to get the hood back down but the brackets are all messed up. Im pullin and pullin but can only get it down to where it's normally all the way up. I had to drive Ace Ventura style the rest of the way. Needless to say I spent the rest of the night reshaping my hood brackets.

Another time I was going to work in my Escort GT and wanted to see if I could spin the tires backing out. (18yr ols get ideas like that) Well it grabbed pretty good (declines help) and it forced me agaist the steering wheel. Im so all over the wheel the horns going off.. it was all I could do to gain control. Once I did I hit my head on the seat... that was the last time I tried that in a front wheel drive...

Sean

 

Here is mine.
After a long winter i decide it is time to start the gto. I got in it and hit the key nothing?? Now this car always starts and now it will not do any thing? So i put the charger on it thinking the battery i just bought for it late last year is dead cause of clove box light or somthing? I had it on the charger for a good two hours. should have been more than enought right? Not ! So i try the light's yea bright as can be, man what is going on here releved the battery is still good im thinking starter so i get the floor jack out , get it on the stands and start hitting it with a hammer. nothing i try this a couple of times and get tired of climbing out from under the car every couple of wacks so i get my 10 year old son out there to turn the key. He comes out to the garage and gets in the car and the first thing he asks is do i want him to put it in park???? duh yea try it . fired right up first time.

I put in nutral so i could push it in the garage and forgot about it.
Don

 

Hahahaha good stuff guys

So this one time we were buliding a 350 and put it in a 1980 Malibu station wagon. We put a rag down the intake so nothing would fall in. Somebody put the Holly carb on top to see how pretty it would look. Needless to say the next day we forgot about the rag and started it up. It stalled a few seconds later. We finally realized the rag got sucked in deep. Nobody was happy that day.

 

As some of you may have, my first vehicle was a 5spd. ranger. I bought it when I turned 16. It needed a little work done to it and thankfully my dad was helping me with it. We had it up on stands front and rear and had the hood up working on the engine and rear end. Well we finally get to the point where he tells me to fire it up, I'm like a lezbo in a popsicle factory thinking sweet this will be great to hear! I get in and he tells me to push the clutch in and turn it over, the engine fires to life!! I get so excited that I start to jump out of the truck, just as I fall out the truck lungs forward off the stands and right into my dad. All I hear is a loud bang<dads head meeting the hood>and every word south of the belt! As he is sitting there dazed blood starts flowing from his head, yeah I gave him a few stiches worth of a headache! Now I know to take it out of gear!
Oh yeah another one. There is a seven eleven just down the road that has all glass in the front of it. Well one day after work I go in there and realize that the front windows are all broken and the first three ailes of stuff are all compacted and broken in. I start to take to the owner and the first thing he says is dumb chicks shouldn't drive sticks! Needless to say I kept my mouth shut!:o

 

i was goin to test drive a toyota tacoma at a dealership. I got the keys and went out to start it. It was in first gear, little did i know. Anyway, i had the hood open adn i started it up. I jumped out to check the engine compartment and it lurched foward into a sign. My mom saw the whole thing. I jumped in, back it up and went inside and told the guy i wasnt interested. I hope he didnt notice the scratches......

Vinny

 

This actually happened to me earlier today. Yesterday I burnt up the alternator in my truck, so it went into the shop (for that and a few other things I'd been putting off). This morning, they call and say it's ready, so I go back and get it. On the way home, I decide to take a bit of a side route, 'cause I have some time on my hands.

About halfway along this side track, I look down at the dash and see 1:31. Yikes! I'm late! I had agreed to meet someone in town for lunch!

I grab my phone and dial them, oddly enough they're at home, and I apologize for missing lunch, and I'll make it up to them.

"Uh okay.." comes the answer. "You're not going to make it then? I was just about to leave for the restaurant.."

Check my watch.

It's 11:45... here's the thing - when you have to work on the electrical system of a vehicle, and you pull the battery, what happens?...

Or was this my dealer's fault for not resetting the clock?

--j.

 

I got another,

I was 16 and had a torino w/a manual bench seat. (Had only been driving about a month) Well, I'm pulling up to a stop sign with my *left* foot on the brake and decide the seat needed to be moved a bit. I pull the lever, and the car goes into a panic stop with tires screeching and my body eating the dash/steering wheel! I'm thinking what in the he11??

Ya see kids, it's not a bright idea to push the seat back with the foot that is on your brake pedal. AND..... don't brake with your left foot under normal driving.



WOT

 

hahah these are great, need more.

 

These are awesome!

Here's a couple of my own:

- A while back I was changing the front brake pads on my 97 F-150. The whole time I was working on it I used jack stands. Well I finished up, and was heading to Taco Bell for some grub. As I'm driving I hear a scratching noise coming from my front wheels. So freaked out I immediately start going to work on re-removing the DS wheel. I get it off, figure out what was causing it, and go to put the wheel back on. Well This time I didn't use jack stands, and the jack had bled down so the wheel wouldn't line up. So I prop the wheel against the hub with one hand and reach over and start to pump the jack with the other. "BAM!" The jack gives way and my hand is smashed between the tire and wheel well. Luckily it was just tissue damage, but I did get to go a week with this kick a$$ soft cast!! Moral of this story: No matter how short or quick the job is, ALWAYS use jack stands.

- Two weeks ago I was leaving work in the L. It had rained that day, but was dry for a couple of hours. No problem right? Well as I'm driving the entrance ramp, which curves to the left before coming up on the left side of the two lane highway, the entrance lane is about 50 yards long. Anyways, as I'm getting on the highway, going around the curve, I look back and see thie ZX2 about 100 yards back. I give some gas (didn't think it was too much) and the rear end goes sideways right out into the nearest highway lane. I immediately let off the gas, but it's too late. I'm now heading right into the grass to the right of the entrance ramp. I give it some brake and roll through the grass for a while so I can recover control. I then get back on the ramp with less than 20 feet of pavement left. I look back and this lady in a family sedan has actually come to a stop in the fast lane of the highway to let me over. Moral of this story: Always wear clean underwear when you drive a Lightning!

 

OK - no L stories here - but both are Mustangs:

A few years back (like maybe 10), my dad and I were just wrapping up some work on my '67 Mustang. We had done all sorts of fun stuff like replacing the timing chain, water pump, oil pan gaskets, yada yada, and were ready to refill all the fluids and crank it back up. He is underneath putting the oil drain plug and filter on while I pulled the oil off the shelf and get the funnel ready. So I get the go ahead and start pouring. About the time I get the 2nd quart tipped up, he comes rolling out from under the car screaming at me to stop. Seems he somehow forgot to put the drain plug back in! I just wish I had a camera to get a pic of him covered in 10W30.

This other one wasn't me - but an acquaintance of mine. She drives a '99 Mustang GT convertible, and was headed down the highway with the top down one nice summer day. After a while, she kept noticing all these people looking at her. Being a rather well-endowed blond, she naturally assumed that they were looking at HER. She just KNEW that was it when these "studs" (her words) in a Tahoe pulled up next to her and were pointing. Well - when she finally got over the fact that there might be something other than her that would draw everyone's attention and stopped to see what the problem was - it was pretty amazing. Seems that, in her rush to leave the gas station and get to town, she forgot to return the pump handle to the gas pump. Yep - she had the handle (and about six feet of hose) hanging out of her filler neck dragging down the interstate.

 

When I was 16 I got a 1985 S-10 with a 350 in it for my bithday (nice present to self). So after putting the first tank of gas in it I pull out into the half wet/dry road and stomp the every living heck out of it. It went side ways down into the ditch, back across the road, down the other ditch, back to the first ditch and then I finally got it stopped in the road facing oncoming traffic. I looked up and there came a brand new expidition. Out of embarresment and trying to save myself from an acident, I just lowered my head and drove off into the ditch. Eventually everyone got back into their cars and left after making sure I was o.k. I am sure the though I was drunk. I was red in the face with embaresment.

 

When I was 16 I got a 1985 S-10 with a 350 in it for my bithday (nice present to self). So after putting the first tank of gas in it I pull out into the half wet/dry road and stomp the every living heck out of it. It went side ways down into the ditch, back across the road, down the other ditch, back to the first ditch and then I finally got it stopped in the road facing oncoming traffic. I looked up and there came a brand new expidition. Out of embarresment and trying to save myself from an acident, I just lowered my head and drove off into the ditch. Eventually everyone got back into their cars and left after making sure I was o.k. I am sure the though I was drunk. I was red in the face with embaresment.