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To help you all (Nothing to do with KR's)

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Old Nov 5, 2006 | 06:14 PM
  #1  
Lenticular's Avatar
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From: Rio Grande Valley, Tx and the United Kingdom.
To help you all (Nothing to do with KR's)

Wait for moderation to kick in....!

As some of the old timers know I used to be a bit of a tyrant correcting spelling and grammar.

(Yes Sarah, I know !!)

Basically I've given up...can't even be bothered to replace that dreadful 'awesome' word with any of the other 500+ possibilities......

However I've come up with a solution to help you all......

I have persuaded the European Commission to accept an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

This we are licencing to the Americans to replace that joke called Microsoft English.


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


Hope this helps.


 
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Old Nov 6, 2006 | 11:18 AM
  #2  
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From: Houston, TX
ROTFLMAO

Awsome!!!!!!

krap kan't even spell that right.
 
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