i thought this would be a fun thread to post i wanna hear your best or worst pickup lines

do you have a band-aid beacause i scratched my knee when i fell for you

 

"is that windex on your pants because I can see myself in them"

 

"Did it hurt? (man) What? (lady) When you fell from Heaven (man)

"You know what would look good on you? ME!

 

(man) do you have a keg in your pants/skirt?
(woman) no, why?
(man) because i want to tap that a$$

 

Man wipes condensation from beer bottle on woman's sleeve and says "why don't we go back to your place and get you out of those wet clothes!!"

 

[man] you wanna hear the word of the day [chick] sure [man] legs.....so ya wanna go back to my place and spread the word

 

Out of all of the fish in the sea, you're the only one I'd want to mount next to my fireplace.

 

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs...what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Are those real?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

 

hey captian you have way to much free time on your hands

 

thanks captainoblivious, im gonna use some of those

 

Hey baby, you wanna find out why they call me 'ROCKPICK'?


LMAO!! (that's typically the reaction from the ladies)


RP

 

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're they only Ten I see.

Do you have tickets to the show? (flex muscles) The Gun Show!!

Do you have a bandaid, cause I'm cut. (again, flex muscles)

 

what if your like me and have no muscles

 

Just saw this on Drew Carey Show while reading this topic...

Excuse me? Can you help me bury a bone?

 

You guys are hilarious!

But seriously, do any of those actually WORK?

Jenn in MD