The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his ******* was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's *******, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his ******* should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

 

 

haha

 

 

A friend and I were up in Wyoming back in late May for her to take care of some family business. We had been busy almost non-stop for a couple of days but had set aside an extra day to do a little sight seeing. We were in our room after breakfast and she was reading the tourist magazine the motel had "thoughtfully" left there and came across, under Family Events, an article about a ******** Festival. Being still tired from two days of rushing around, that set off the giggles. We started wisecracking and it went downhill from there. The one that rendered me helpless was when my friend innocently made the comment about how wrong it was to have children there since it was teaching them it was alright to eat *********.